You Know You Have Been In Finland Too Long, When...
March 25th 2010 14:28
Time: 4:01pm Date: 25/03/2010 Location: My Apartment, Helsinki
With only a week to go until I leave this little known place called Finland and move onto bigger and better things (only joking my favourite Finnish friends); I can proudly give a word of warning to others who may follow in my footsteps “You know you have been in Finland too long, when...”
1. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to the garbage.
- Make sure you keep the tough ones, as I tend to pack all the heavy items into the same bag.
2. When a stranger on the street smiles at you:
a. You assume he is drunk
b. He’s insane
c. He’s an American
- From personal experience, (a) is the most common answer.
3. You don’t think twice about putting the wet dishes in the cupboard to dry.
- Seriously, these drying cupboards above the sink are an incredibly smart invention.
4. A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer: “Oh, I’m going to Europe!” meaning any other Western European country outside Scandinavia.
- The amount of Finns that have asked me with a sarcastic tone, “Why Finland?” proves this point.
5. You see a student taking a front row seat and wonder “Who does he think he is!!??”
6. Silence is fun.
- Oh, how I have learned to appreciate silence!
7. The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm or Tallinn is:
a. Duty free vodka
b. Duty free beer
c. To party heartily…no need to get off the boat in Stockholm or Tallinn; just turn around and do it all again on the way back to Finland.
d. All of the above!
- Again, from personal experience, most common answer is (d). However, it is easier to make the most of it on the boat to Stockholm, rather than Tallinn, since the journey takes four times as long.
8. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and the coffee is too weak if there is less than two spoonfuls per person.
- Me personally am not a coffee drinker but I certainly have some friends that can vouch for this.
9. You pass a grocery store and think, "Wow, I had better go in an buy something!"
- To all my South Australian readers…sound familiar???
10. Your native language has seriously deteriorated. Now you begin to "eat medicine", "open the television", "close the lights" ´, and tell someone "you needn't to!" Expressions like "Don't panic" creep into your everyday language.
- This is undeniably true. Being in Erasmus (Europe’s Exchange Program), you meet so many different Europeans. Therefore, you become familiar with and confused by so many different languages. Since English is my native language (and the universal language), it may not be deteriorating to this extent but because you have to converse with non-English speaking people; you feel like your language has been dumb downed due to the SIMPLER terms used on people around you so that they can SIMPLY understand. Also, Aussie jargon is not permitted – this is a given!
11. You associate pea soup with Thursdays.
- Yes, ‘UniCafe’ at my faculty seems to dish out pea soup every Thursday. Tasty!
12. Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.
- You may think this, yet you still do it!
13. Your notion of street life is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.
- Especially in Kannelmäki, where I live. Can someone please tell me the reason behind this?
14. Sundays no longer seem dull with all the stores closed, and begin to feel restful instead.
- Student exchange requires big things from you…partying Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday night! Therefore, Sundays are greatly appreciated.
15. You finally stop asking your class "Are there any questions?"
- Of course not, we are in Finland!
16. Your old habit of being "Fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.
- Personally, I am yet to come to grips with this one but that’s just who I am!
17. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.
18. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
a. They are drunk
b. They are Swedish-speaking
c. They are American
d. All of the above
- Again, it could be all of the above (d) but from personal experience, I would have to say (a) is the most common answer.
19. You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.
- Well not yet, but I’m sure I would if I stayed longer.
20. You eat herring in 105 ways.
- Same as above.
21. You understand why the Finnish language has no future tense.
- It would just make it even more complicated…
22. You just love Jaffa.
- Tastes like Fanta but is extremely popular.
23. You've come to expect Sunday morning sidewalk vomit dodging.
- Luckily, it’s clearly stands out with the snow as the backdrop!
24. You know that "men's public bathroom" is another phrase for sidewalk.
- This is very true. However, amazingly you still have all your bits afterwards even though it’s -25 degrees C!! It just might have decreased in size, that’s all.
25. You know that more than three channels means cable.
- I am still yet to understand the Finnish TV broadcasting system and no wonder when I haven’t seen TV for like 3 months!
26. When you're hungry you can peel a boiled potato like lightning.
- Me personally, I probably couldn’t live up to this one but I should because boiled potatoes are a common side dish with ‘UniCafe’ lunches. My housemate can definitely do this though!
27. You accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.
- To experience the full sensation of the Finnish sauna, it must be over 100 degrees C. The beauty of this then is when you come outside to say -5 degrees C; you can walk back home in a t-shirt!
28. You accept -30 outside as a reasonable temperature, but anything under 22 indoors is unreasonable...
- Inside, you become so reliant on the radiators that yes, they should be doing their job properly! If they break…your pretty much stuffed!
29. You don't waste alcohol. When you spill your drink on the desk, you actually contemplate slurping it up!
- Finland’s alcohol tax is ridiculously expensive and trust me, after paying so much for it – you do not want to waste a drop!
30. You find it normal to drink milk with your meals.
- Again, for me personally; this is not true. However, I think I am the exception. With my lunches I drink cordial but for everyone else, plain milk is the go.
31. You think it is normal to have lunch at 11:00am.
- This is the time that ‘UniCafe’s open. This is the time that Finns begin to have lunch!
32. When you go to a post office, bank or pharmacy you first start looking for a waiting ticket. You think it is normal to stand in line for getting a waiting ticket.
- Finnish people are so organised over here that this system is very efficient. It’s just ironic that you may have to stand in line for a waiting ticket!
33. You get annoyed if a bus/train is two minutes late.
- Finland has a reputation for always being on time. Therefore, I have come up with some simple equations to describe this ideology: Finland = Punctual =
. Finland = NOT punctual = 
.
34. You are happy if it is just -10C and not -20C.
- This 10 degrees difference makes a WORLD of difference! Trust me, I have experienced it.
35. You eat ice-cream when the weather outside is minus something.
- Finland is one of the world’s biggest ice-cream consumers.
36. You set your alarm five minutes earlier so that when morning comes, you spend those extra five minutes wiping away all the snow from your car windows.
Those Extra Five Minutes: A local Finn clearing all the snow from his car windows!
With only a week to go until I leave this little known place called Finland and move onto bigger and better things (only joking my favourite Finnish friends); I can proudly give a word of warning to others who may follow in my footsteps “You know you have been in Finland too long, when...”
1. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to the garbage.
- Make sure you keep the tough ones, as I tend to pack all the heavy items into the same bag.
2. When a stranger on the street smiles at you:
a. You assume he is drunk
b. He’s insane
c. He’s an American
- From personal experience, (a) is the most common answer.
3. You don’t think twice about putting the wet dishes in the cupboard to dry.
- Seriously, these drying cupboards above the sink are an incredibly smart invention.
4. A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer: “Oh, I’m going to Europe!” meaning any other Western European country outside Scandinavia.
- The amount of Finns that have asked me with a sarcastic tone, “Why Finland?” proves this point.
5. You see a student taking a front row seat and wonder “Who does he think he is!!??”
6. Silence is fun.
- Oh, how I have learned to appreciate silence!
7. The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm or Tallinn is:
a. Duty free vodka
b. Duty free beer
c. To party heartily…no need to get off the boat in Stockholm or Tallinn; just turn around and do it all again on the way back to Finland.
d. All of the above!
- Again, from personal experience, most common answer is (d). However, it is easier to make the most of it on the boat to Stockholm, rather than Tallinn, since the journey takes four times as long.
8. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and the coffee is too weak if there is less than two spoonfuls per person.
- Me personally am not a coffee drinker but I certainly have some friends that can vouch for this.
9. You pass a grocery store and think, "Wow, I had better go in an buy something!"
- To all my South Australian readers…sound familiar???
10. Your native language has seriously deteriorated. Now you begin to "eat medicine", "open the television", "close the lights" ´, and tell someone "you needn't to!" Expressions like "Don't panic" creep into your everyday language.
- This is undeniably true. Being in Erasmus (Europe’s Exchange Program), you meet so many different Europeans. Therefore, you become familiar with and confused by so many different languages. Since English is my native language (and the universal language), it may not be deteriorating to this extent but because you have to converse with non-English speaking people; you feel like your language has been dumb downed due to the SIMPLER terms used on people around you so that they can SIMPLY understand. Also, Aussie jargon is not permitted – this is a given!
11. You associate pea soup with Thursdays.
- Yes, ‘UniCafe’ at my faculty seems to dish out pea soup every Thursday. Tasty!
12. Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.
- You may think this, yet you still do it!
13. Your notion of street life is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.
- Especially in Kannelmäki, where I live. Can someone please tell me the reason behind this?
14. Sundays no longer seem dull with all the stores closed, and begin to feel restful instead.
- Student exchange requires big things from you…partying Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday night! Therefore, Sundays are greatly appreciated.
15. You finally stop asking your class "Are there any questions?"
- Of course not, we are in Finland!
16. Your old habit of being "Fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.
- Personally, I am yet to come to grips with this one but that’s just who I am!
17. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.
18. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
a. They are drunk
b. They are Swedish-speaking
c. They are American
d. All of the above
- Again, it could be all of the above (d) but from personal experience, I would have to say (a) is the most common answer.
19. You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.
- Well not yet, but I’m sure I would if I stayed longer.
20. You eat herring in 105 ways.
- Same as above.
21. You understand why the Finnish language has no future tense.
- It would just make it even more complicated…
22. You just love Jaffa.
- Tastes like Fanta but is extremely popular.
23. You've come to expect Sunday morning sidewalk vomit dodging.
- Luckily, it’s clearly stands out with the snow as the backdrop!
24. You know that "men's public bathroom" is another phrase for sidewalk.
- This is very true. However, amazingly you still have all your bits afterwards even though it’s -25 degrees C!! It just might have decreased in size, that’s all.
25. You know that more than three channels means cable.
- I am still yet to understand the Finnish TV broadcasting system and no wonder when I haven’t seen TV for like 3 months!
26. When you're hungry you can peel a boiled potato like lightning.
- Me personally, I probably couldn’t live up to this one but I should because boiled potatoes are a common side dish with ‘UniCafe’ lunches. My housemate can definitely do this though!
27. You accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.
- To experience the full sensation of the Finnish sauna, it must be over 100 degrees C. The beauty of this then is when you come outside to say -5 degrees C; you can walk back home in a t-shirt!
28. You accept -30 outside as a reasonable temperature, but anything under 22 indoors is unreasonable...
- Inside, you become so reliant on the radiators that yes, they should be doing their job properly! If they break…your pretty much stuffed!
29. You don't waste alcohol. When you spill your drink on the desk, you actually contemplate slurping it up!
- Finland’s alcohol tax is ridiculously expensive and trust me, after paying so much for it – you do not want to waste a drop!
30. You find it normal to drink milk with your meals.
- Again, for me personally; this is not true. However, I think I am the exception. With my lunches I drink cordial but for everyone else, plain milk is the go.
31. You think it is normal to have lunch at 11:00am.
- This is the time that ‘UniCafe’s open. This is the time that Finns begin to have lunch!
32. When you go to a post office, bank or pharmacy you first start looking for a waiting ticket. You think it is normal to stand in line for getting a waiting ticket.
- Finnish people are so organised over here that this system is very efficient. It’s just ironic that you may have to stand in line for a waiting ticket!
33. You get annoyed if a bus/train is two minutes late.
- Finland has a reputation for always being on time. Therefore, I have come up with some simple equations to describe this ideology: Finland = Punctual =
. Finland = NOT punctual = .34. You are happy if it is just -10C and not -20C.
- This 10 degrees difference makes a WORLD of difference! Trust me, I have experienced it.
35. You eat ice-cream when the weather outside is minus something.
- Finland is one of the world’s biggest ice-cream consumers.
36. You set your alarm five minutes earlier so that when morning comes, you spend those extra five minutes wiping away all the snow from your car windows.
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