You Don't Know What's Happening, Do You Mr Jones?
October 8th 2008 12:25
Again it's late. Again I'm tired. Once more I have an assignment due tomorrow and yet again I'm not doing it. I can't care. None of it means anything to me. What do I care if I fail World History: The Twentieth Century? Not that I'll fail, it's not due until 4pm. I'll get up tomorrow and put together something really half-arsed. That's the way; doing just enough not to raise questions. Only the necessary effort to make sure I don't fail and nothing else.
I've already brushed my teeth but I'm going to do it again. Coke makes my mouth taste yucky, you need to brush more than once to get rid of the awful sugary mess it leaves behind. Sickly sweet and unnecessary. I don't even like full strength Coke, I'm much more of a Diet Coke kind of girl. Coke gives me hiccups...
I think one of my friend's might like me. It's weird, and ever so reminiscent of early high school.
Ooooooh someone has a crush on you!
I feel guilty. It's not like I've encouraged it, but it's not nice to know that you could potentially hurt someone because you don't feel the same way.
I don't know what's happening. Ten years from now I'll look back at these random notes and try to make sense of them. I can pretend I knew all along where I was headed.
I was looking at old notebooks the other day. Thirteen year old me desperate to find out what's wrong with me so I can change it. Fourteen year old me keeping food diaries and counting calories. Seventeen year old me begging what ended up being the biggest mistake of my life not to leave.
I don't think that's right.
I've already brushed my teeth but I'm going to do it again. Coke makes my mouth taste yucky, you need to brush more than once to get rid of the awful sugary mess it leaves behind. Sickly sweet and unnecessary. I don't even like full strength Coke, I'm much more of a Diet Coke kind of girl. Coke gives me hiccups...
I think one of my friend's might like me. It's weird, and ever so reminiscent of early high school.
Ooooooh someone has a crush on you!
I feel guilty. It's not like I've encouraged it, but it's not nice to know that you could potentially hurt someone because you don't feel the same way.
I don't know what's happening. Ten years from now I'll look back at these random notes and try to make sense of them. I can pretend I knew all along where I was headed.
I was looking at old notebooks the other day. Thirteen year old me desperate to find out what's wrong with me so I can change it. Fourteen year old me keeping food diaries and counting calories. Seventeen year old me begging what ended up being the biggest mistake of my life not to leave.
I don't think that's right.
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