You are there
May 18th 2009 04:11
There was more dreaming.
Earlier, some days ago, I sent images and sensations. You would have been sweetly sleeping, long black lashes falling upon white cheekbones. The lids twitched - I saw that you caught the images I sent and fingers collected sensations. Girl in a blue sweater. Dancing. Simple. She was me. Ask another - he sees me too.
Clouds are covering the sky like doona over a bed, it feels warm, comforting, and snuggly. Not the best of words but sometimes its the only one. I draw it about me like a cloak, as much as I love the sky I cant escape how good this feels....
Today I looked for more. I do not want to write my hands are so tired. But, its the only way to get this out - writing, like this, is like stabbing a needle into a vien, opening it up,
and letting it bleed, letting it flow out from me, I get it out I have to get it out but I dont want it gone so I stab it in, open up that artery and let it bleed until I feel covered, covered in blood...
And I went lookingfor more, Oh how it suits you the guise of teenager, wicked, wicked boy trying to get under a girls skirts but oh I do love wickedness, I do love boys and all their games I cannot help myself the party girl, how I wish I could be that girl and oh, Id let you talk me into it know that for sure...
But thats not you you arent that boy its just another one of the many parts that you play the you the real you Im still trying to divine Im getting there and getting there yes Im getting closer to that scent one thing I know your natural inclination is to put those hands together as if in prayer....Tears run flowing free inside of me never to be shed on the outside no no let none see let none see......
I could write your name here in invisible ink I know the trick so the very smart ones they might see the blank paragraph and scroll with the mouse to read the words but I am not brave no no where near brave and I dont want you to know......I cant let you know how obsessed Ive become how embarassing......
Because its starting to dawn on me. You are there. You really are, you breathe, are real, have scent, have form, have substance, of course, its more than fantasy what a silly girl, silly girl its what Ive always been......
To see you I do believe Id scream and faint and do things Ive never done before Oh, I think the shock would be too much for me to have those dark eyes focus on me for even an instyant too much, too much....
When only your suggested presence makes me squirm oh it does it does you cant abide it or imagine it its only a suggestion fake upon fake, not real, not real but it strikes me into the bone, the bones....
The thing I love most about you is that you make me love more the one Im with oh they knew their stuff those gypsies to snare a goddess create one of such a form that she cannot resist and through him snare her power get her trap her and use her talents for our own and before even I knew what obsession I was capable of, they knew the form to choose to snare me so....
And despite the love I have the love I treasure....Well. No need to say it. You dreamed the dream.
Earlier, some days ago, I sent images and sensations. You would have been sweetly sleeping, long black lashes falling upon white cheekbones. The lids twitched - I saw that you caught the images I sent and fingers collected sensations. Girl in a blue sweater. Dancing. Simple. She was me. Ask another - he sees me too.
Clouds are covering the sky like doona over a bed, it feels warm, comforting, and snuggly. Not the best of words but sometimes its the only one. I draw it about me like a cloak, as much as I love the sky I cant escape how good this feels....
Today I looked for more. I do not want to write my hands are so tired. But, its the only way to get this out - writing, like this, is like stabbing a needle into a vien, opening it up,
and letting it bleed, letting it flow out from me, I get it out I have to get it out but I dont want it gone so I stab it in, open up that artery and let it bleed until I feel covered, covered in blood...
And I went lookingfor more, Oh how it suits you the guise of teenager, wicked, wicked boy trying to get under a girls skirts but oh I do love wickedness, I do love boys and all their games I cannot help myself the party girl, how I wish I could be that girl and oh, Id let you talk me into it know that for sure...
But thats not you you arent that boy its just another one of the many parts that you play the you the real you Im still trying to divine Im getting there and getting there yes Im getting closer to that scent one thing I know your natural inclination is to put those hands together as if in prayer....Tears run flowing free inside of me never to be shed on the outside no no let none see let none see......
I could write your name here in invisible ink I know the trick so the very smart ones they might see the blank paragraph and scroll with the mouse to read the words but I am not brave no no where near brave and I dont want you to know......I cant let you know how obsessed Ive become how embarassing......
Because its starting to dawn on me. You are there. You really are, you breathe, are real, have scent, have form, have substance, of course, its more than fantasy what a silly girl, silly girl its what Ive always been......
To see you I do believe Id scream and faint and do things Ive never done before Oh, I think the shock would be too much for me to have those dark eyes focus on me for even an instyant too much, too much....
When only your suggested presence makes me squirm oh it does it does you cant abide it or imagine it its only a suggestion fake upon fake, not real, not real but it strikes me into the bone, the bones....
The thing I love most about you is that you make me love more the one Im with oh they knew their stuff those gypsies to snare a goddess create one of such a form that she cannot resist and through him snare her power get her trap her and use her talents for our own and before even I knew what obsession I was capable of, they knew the form to choose to snare me so....
And despite the love I have the love I treasure....Well. No need to say it. You dreamed the dream.
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