Falling down the stairs with Applejuice
August 27th 2009 00:23
WELL... now that we have established I exist in my last post.....
I am pelvic thrusting back onto the hypothetical stage known as THIS BLOG once again to inform anyone who may read this about some terrible things that could happen to you if you're not careful. I love giving life lessons-- Helping others succeed in life is my specialty
SO say you're out bass fishing on lake eerie for some... misc type of fish (lets just say.... bass seeing as earlier in the sentence we established what we were fishing for already) to cook up for dinner--
I know what you're thinking.... Yes you did eat two entire bowls of frosted flakes for breakfast that morning.... AND YESS... YOU FINISHED THE GODDAMNED MILK... jesus fuck settle down with the questions....
ANYWAYS...
you're sitting there... in a boat.... some obvious questions that you should be asking yourself:
Q: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE....
A: ... sitting on a piece of shit boat with a sharpend stick with a string tied to it.... not the right choice... THERE IS A CLEAR ALTERNATIVE TO THIS.... let me help you:
Back in world war 2 they used machine guns, tanks and bayonets to kill their fish, Nazi's and Niggers ... sometimes they even used helicopters... but you don't need that shit...
FIRST YOU NEED TO GO TO WALMART AND BUY A FUCKING FISH FINDER YOU DUMB CUNT!!
Then... use dynomite or other explosives to kill the fish....
AND WHY ARE YOU IN A BOAT... get a monstertruck... so you can smash cars later-- LAKES ARENT THAT BIG.... JUST DO IT.... IF YOU CANT AFFORD A MONSTER TRUCK.............. MOD YOUR CURRENT VEHICLE TO HAVE HUGE TIRES AND GROW SOME BALLS AND SOME DAY YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO BE A TOTAL BADASS.
LESSON LEARNED: WORK SMARTER NOT HARDER... You could be like the next jesse james with that shit... (NOT THE TRAIN ROBBER THE FUCKING WEST COAST CHOPPER DUDE--)
Everyone knows he is a total badass....
NOW to put this in perspective: ... INSTEAD of you being some faggot in a boat with a tiny stick trying to harpoon bass....
NOW you are JESSE FUCKIN JAMES.... RIDING A MONSTER TRUCK BLOWING UP FISH.
all because you chose to think outside of the box-- WHICH just so happens to be my next life lesson
When thinking outside of the box however... Always remember to get back into the box.... Remember what happened last time shit came out the box....
Your DOG ate that shit AND VOMITTED BLOOD back up all over your moms carpet
(REST IN PIECE HAMTARO) ...
I ended up burning that carper.... everytime I looked at it.... ...
I don't want to talk about that anymore.... Its too hard....
.....
SO... KEEP YO SHIT IN THE BOX.... dont be afraid to leave so long as you don't get eaten by a shark or something...
AND my last lesson for today:
Eat Food--
DONT TRY TO BE A HERO... EAT FUCKING FOOD... For example look at Ghandi--
He didn't eat... He fucking turned to bones and died... and everyone was like... WTF MAN
IN OTHER NEWS
THE WORD ORBLE REMINDS ME OF:
Orville Redenbacher
SO UNTIL NEXTTIME
I am making popcorn and I'm going to make phonecalls to my local leaders-
-WOLVERINEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
~Twincest is Best
I am pelvic thrusting back onto the hypothetical stage known as THIS BLOG once again to inform anyone who may read this about some terrible things that could happen to you if you're not careful. I love giving life lessons-- Helping others succeed in life is my specialty
SO say you're out bass fishing on lake eerie for some... misc type of fish (lets just say.... bass seeing as earlier in the sentence we established what we were fishing for already) to cook up for dinner--
I know what you're thinking.... Yes you did eat two entire bowls of frosted flakes for breakfast that morning.... AND YESS... YOU FINISHED THE GODDAMNED MILK... jesus fuck settle down with the questions....
ANYWAYS...
you're sitting there... in a boat.... some obvious questions that you should be asking yourself:
Q: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE....
A: ... sitting on a piece of shit boat with a sharpend stick with a string tied to it.... not the right choice... THERE IS A CLEAR ALTERNATIVE TO THIS.... let me help you:
Back in world war 2 they used machine guns, tanks and bayonets to kill their fish, Nazi's and Niggers ... sometimes they even used helicopters... but you don't need that shit...
FIRST YOU NEED TO GO TO WALMART AND BUY A FUCKING FISH FINDER YOU DUMB CUNT!!
ONLY 49 DOLLARS
Then... use dynomite or other explosives to kill the fish....
AND WHY ARE YOU IN A BOAT... get a monstertruck... so you can smash cars later-- LAKES ARENT THAT BIG.... JUST DO IT.... IF YOU CANT AFFORD A MONSTER TRUCK.............. MOD YOUR CURRENT VEHICLE TO HAVE HUGE TIRES AND GROW SOME BALLS AND SOME DAY YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO BE A TOTAL BADASS.
These dudes have the right idea
LESSON LEARNED: WORK SMARTER NOT HARDER... You could be like the next jesse james with that shit... (NOT THE TRAIN ROBBER THE FUCKING WEST COAST CHOPPER DUDE--)
Everyone knows he is a total badass....
Even though he has a Vagina tattoo'd on his arm Bitches still wanna fuck him....
NOW to put this in perspective: ... INSTEAD of you being some faggot in a boat with a tiny stick trying to harpoon bass....
NOW you are JESSE FUCKIN JAMES.... RIDING A MONSTER TRUCK BLOWING UP FISH.
all because you chose to think outside of the box-- WHICH just so happens to be my next life lesson
When thinking outside of the box however... Always remember to get back into the box.... Remember what happened last time shit came out the box....
Your DOG ate that shit AND VOMITTED BLOOD back up all over your moms carpet
(REST IN PIECE HAMTARO) ...
I ended up burning that carper.... everytime I looked at it.... ...
I don't want to talk about that anymore.... Its too hard....
.....
SO... KEEP YO SHIT IN THE BOX.... dont be afraid to leave so long as you don't get eaten by a shark or something...
AND my last lesson for today:
Eat Food--
DONT TRY TO BE A HERO... EAT FUCKING FOOD... For example look at Ghandi--
He didn't eat... He fucking turned to bones and died... and everyone was like... WTF MAN
Ghandi... Eat a fucking cheeseburger for gods sake
IN OTHER NEWS
THE WORD ORBLE REMINDS ME OF:
Orville Redenbacher
SO UNTIL NEXTTIME
I am making popcorn and I'm going to make phonecalls to my local leaders-
CUT YOU BITCH
-WOLVERINEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
~Twincest is Best
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Comment by WOLVERINE!
on Da-shiong bao-jah-shr duh la-doo-tze! or; Firefly is an ok program
I thought Serenity was a really good movie-
I also recently acquired firefly and it is really cool for a TV production Sci-fi series.... i've seen alot of really terrible ones that make me vomit everywhere...
I'm not going to petition for another season or whatever... but if it came out I would definitely watch it.
For what it is, --I think it's badass--