Why can't people look into other peoples eyes?
April 22nd 2007 08:54
There's a time in your life that you realise you just can't do everything... And this usually involves friends. At school there is nothing you have to worry about but going to class, having recess and going out with your friends.
As time moves on people begin to depend on themselves and therefore they must get jobs to support themselves. Then when school finishes you have suddenly been placed in the real world where you must decide what to do.
People usually go to university or go to fulltime work... and this is where the problems begin to arise, as there is suddenly so much more to worry about in life. Life isn't just about hanging with your friends anymore and it sucks.
But what sucks more is when friends kinda can't seem to let go and let you do your own thing. From this people tend to put guilt onto other friends for not being there, not being at that party, not supporting a friend when in need. But really all those things shouldn't matter. The friendship should always be there at all times and should be able to be picked up at anytime. Even if that means its 2 weeks before you see someone, that friendship will be picked up and held onto again.
Guilt will in turn push people away, just as much make people feel bad. And therefore are not being the friend they could possibly be.
Obviously everyone has different values and feelings on situations but people should really think about other peoples lives and feelings and maybe just maybe look into other peoples eyes.
I'm in the city now and am far away from my school friends, but I don't look at this as a bad thing but more so as an opportunity to spread my wings... meet new people and stand on my own two feet.
I am away, but not that far away that I still feel obliged to go home and to go to those events I'm supposed to go to. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to go back at all... as maybe then i will fully grasp my new surroundings. But the guilt comes back and I obviously want to not hurt anyone... but sometimes I've realised that I need to think about myself... and what I really want to do. Its the only way to be totally happy and content with my actions... and really I was not happy on the beaches. I was bored and ready to challenge myself.
I wish my friends could totally understand that I'm doing this for me and only me. I want them all in my life, but its just not going to be all the time. We all have different paths, whether they are planned or not... But now I must follow mine, the best I possibly can.
As time moves on people begin to depend on themselves and therefore they must get jobs to support themselves. Then when school finishes you have suddenly been placed in the real world where you must decide what to do.
People usually go to university or go to fulltime work... and this is where the problems begin to arise, as there is suddenly so much more to worry about in life. Life isn't just about hanging with your friends anymore and it sucks.
Guilt will in turn push people away, just as much make people feel bad. And therefore are not being the friend they could possibly be.
Obviously everyone has different values and feelings on situations but people should really think about other peoples lives and feelings and maybe just maybe look into other peoples eyes.
I'm in the city now and am far away from my school friends, but I don't look at this as a bad thing but more so as an opportunity to spread my wings... meet new people and stand on my own two feet.
I am away, but not that far away that I still feel obliged to go home and to go to those events I'm supposed to go to. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to go back at all... as maybe then i will fully grasp my new surroundings. But the guilt comes back and I obviously want to not hurt anyone... but sometimes I've realised that I need to think about myself... and what I really want to do. Its the only way to be totally happy and content with my actions... and really I was not happy on the beaches. I was bored and ready to challenge myself.
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Comment by David
Interesting post ...
As was your previous one ...
Who is making you feel so guilty?
Signed: An Older Guy who doesn't like being labelled or categorised or boxed with all the other older guys as though we're all afraid of commitment
Comment by Anna Cameron
AnnaBanana
Real World Stories
This piece is mostly about one friend who is hanging onto our group of school friends, she doesn't let me fly with my own wings and tries to change our thinking. The thing is she doesn't even realise she's doing it so I don't blame her being scared of change. It just makes it hard for me to do my own thing. But now I have moved its very different...
Do you like the 'why can't people see through other peoples eyes?' its a photography/poetry thing I'm working on as a concept.
Comment by David
What attracted me to your post in the first instance was the Title ...
I have this big aversion to people wearing sunglasses while they're talking to me ...
If I can't see a person's eyes? And make eye contact with them, while we're conversing? I feel very uncomfortable ... don't trust them ... etc ... all that stuff ...
It's like they're on some type of power trip to me ... or they're control-freaks ... trying to assert their superiority over me ... when I know they shit and piss and wipe their arses the same way I do ... (Okay, so women do it a bit different .. the whole wiping thing ... us men we just shake a few times without the whole toilet paper wipe giggy thingy ... (or whatever it is you women call it ...
And those type of people? (not women who are hygeine-conscious .... people who wear sunglasses when they're talking to me, okay?) ... They are not my type of people ...
And yes ... I love the concept ... I love mixed-media ... and often like a graphic to accompany poetry ... we live in a visual world ... and if the pic attracts a person to read the words? I sometimes do it myself ...
I'd rather paint pictures with words ... but I do like graphics with words ... always have ... always will ...
When you get it done? Post it ... I'd certainly be interested in what you come up with ...
And this 'acquaintance' of yours? (Because she doesn't qualify as a 'friend' in my book) ... Just tell her something like ...
"Look. I would really rather have genuine friends, okay? Now if you're going to keep hanging around like a bad smell? I'll end up saying something worse. But it's up to you."
Anything like that usually gets rid of them from your lives ... It works for me ...
Although I've progressed beyond being subtle nowadays ... I just say things like ... "Will you just piss off out of my life? I never want to see you ever again."
If they don't understand that? ... (which often they don't ... ) ... I'll go ...
"I really agree with your philosophy on not wanting to change ... I've never liked you ... And that's not going to change."
David ...
Comment by Mon
I am enjoying your writings. I understand where you're coming from and fully support you!
Love u
-neek