WHO IS DAVID?
May 9th 2009 12:22
He's been hanging around my house for weeks.
Four days ago he left and I thought, "Thank Christ, he's gone" but then he re-appears, as grotty as ever (have a shower, man) and Mum says he's just having a holiday. He spends all his time in my mum's room doing who knows what. All I know is that her time seems to be completely taken up by this guy. When she's out he spends his time on the computer - in his undies. He cooks, I'll give him that, but does he have to do it in his underwear? Like everything else? I mean - Put some pants on, will you? I live here.
My mum has had her Orble blog blocked because she let this man use it. And now she wants to use my blog to post. Well, she's my mother - what can I say?
I've read some of his comments and sometimes he he sounds seriously deranged. Is he bi-polar or something? I mean, he seems nice enough - he's pretty friendly. But maybe that's just a front. I keep wondering, Could he really be a psycho making plans?
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Comment by samaritan
Samaritan's Stories
Samaritan
Comment by Nevar
Is Why
Comment by jimmy
cyberperson
What did they wear in those days, loin cloths? I could just imagine David walking around in a loin cloth but it's too cold in Melbourne, thank God (and all the saints).
Comment by jimmy
cyberperson
He's got a permanent stubble which my mum thinks is great but I just think it makes him look like even more of a degenerate.
Comment by Nevar
Is Why
Which makes him look like a degenerate, loin cloth or beard? By the way, hasn't he confessed to degeneration already?
Hang in there David, we love you man . . .
Comment by Anonymous
This might not be the best thing for you to hear in relation to your mum, but at least I do wear underpants around the house.
And the reason I cook is because I like eating dinner before 2am. Have you ever noticed how it takes your mum about an hour to prepare a vodka and lime drink? And then three hours to drink it? And you have to sit through a running commentary of her talking about drinking it, and how she prepared it, and why. By the time she’s finished you’ve heard about the history of vodka, where limes come from, and the properties of ice.
She commentates on everything she does. “I’m just walking over to the other side of the room now,” she’ll say. “I’ll just squeeze this lime into the glass. Oh, no, hang on, I might use a plate. This juicer isn’t the best. I wonder where the bottom went. Anyway … “ Her favourite word is anyway. It means she’s lost her train of thought. Or she’s lost interest in the conversation topic.
I’m not letting her near the kitchen after the first time she offered to cook. It’s not that she can’t cook, but when you wash vegetables, you don’t put them in the washing machine through a full cycle, then hang them out on the washing line to dry. A quick rinse is all they need.
David
PS: Did your mum pick that picture? What’s she trying to say? I have man boobs?
Comment by Damo
Comment by jimmy
cyberperson
What makes him look like a degenerate?
The undies, the stubble, the unwashed hair, the uncleaned teeth, the shoes with holes in them ... I better not say any more.
But my mum says she likes degenerates and David's her favourite degenerate of all.
I'm trying not to question my parent's taste
Comment by Nevar
Is Why
Don't let yer mum give you his hand me down under uh, stuff, and run for the hills if he suggests modeling his speedo's; but should he begin waxing theosophical about the church ~ listen, and just think of his visual apperance as an image of John the baptizer in desert garb.
You'll gain some major insights and maybe some cooking hints.
Comment by samaritan
Samaritan's Stories
Samaritan
Comment by Nevar
Is Why
Comment by jimmy
cyberperson
I thought the picture was your idea? Pre-op David or something?
Now, I'm trying to be nice to you out of respect for my parent so I won't mention anything more about the undies, okay? So let's just drop that before you start going into unsavoury details - I've already heard more than I want to hear, thanks - and in my own home.
But I have to say I laughed at your description of my mum's conversational hum. Maybe she's talking to her invisible friend.
Comment by jimmy
cyberperson
Tarzan derailed after too much time in the jungle in the company of wild animals.
Comment by jimmy
cyberperson
I thought the locust & honey reference must have been from a movie. But David explained.
Comment by jimmy
cyberperson
My mum told me not to answer any more personal questions. She's worried what the next one will be!
John the Baptist was that guy who walked in the water to baptize people, right? I saw it in a movie. I already said this but I'll say it again - David's a great cook. And fast. Great having regular meals again.
It freaks me out a bit how many websites hes on under diffferent handles. He went out of the house yesterday. for the first time since hes been here! I went through his pc. in mums best interests. hes on all these sites as cock in frock or Dr Seusses love cat writing all this weird stuff about how some tranny rejected him. whats up with that. im worried mum will put up with anyone as long as she doesnt have to cook.
Comment by Anonymous
Gotta love 'em : and finally a laugh after reading 30 posts!
Thanks.
Comment by jimmy
cyberperson