Kristin WolgemuthWhen Should You Get Married?
June 26th 2009 19:53
Some people get married early in life, and some people wait until they’re much older, say, in their 30’s or 40’s. But what is the right age to get married? I think it depends a lot on the individual. Many people mature at an earlier age than others, and maturity plays a major role in undertaking such a huge responsibility as marriage. Essential components of maturity are wisdom and knowing oneself (self-actualization).
Wisdom is knowing things about life. That includes knowledge, but it also includes life lessons that cannot be learned in any way but first-hand. Knowledge can be gained through books, schooling, and lessons we learn from our parents and other people. Wisdom is taking that lesson learned and applying it to your own life. If you don’t actually experience, only knowledge has been gained, not necessarily wisdom.
So how do we know when we’re ready to get married? Some people say you just know, you feel it. But do you feel love or lust? Is it the right time to get married? Are the important things discussed and in place? Are you ready to share your life with someone else, your money, your car, your bed? I recently heard someone on television say that marriage is “a three-year commitment.” Although it was meant to be a joke, I wonder how many people think that marriage is a temporary commitment, something to be enjoyed only as long as it’s fun.
I believe marriage is a life-long commitment. I think when you’re ready, you will feel it. But the way you feel it is important. Things will fall into place. There won’t be doubts. I think that getting married was the easiest decision I ever made. I knew I had lust for my husband, but there was a lot more to things than that. Being able to share wisdom with one another, for example, is an important sign of being ready to get married.
Some people get married young and don’t even know themselves before they get married. Some grow together, and others grow apart. Only time will tell if a young marriage is viable. In contrast, statistics show that couples who get married in their 30’s and 40’s stay together longer. Another major determiner is whether or not the couple has shared spiritual beliefs. A basic belief in God is one thing that keeps couples together longer, especially if they share the same religion with the same spiritual “laws” governing their lives. An example of this is the Amish and old order Mennonite traditions.
Another indicator of how long a couple stays married may be how long they are dating or have known each other, at least as friends, before marriage. Sure, a week may not be long enough, but a couple of months or years may show whether or not this person is the one for you. My husband and I only knew each other for three months and a day before we got married. We’ve been married for over three years so far, and I definitely know that he is meant to be my life partner. And yes, I still find him incredibly attractive!
Wisdom is knowing things about life. That includes knowledge, but it also includes life lessons that cannot be learned in any way but first-hand. Knowledge can be gained through books, schooling, and lessons we learn from our parents and other people. Wisdom is taking that lesson learned and applying it to your own life. If you don’t actually experience, only knowledge has been gained, not necessarily wisdom.
So how do we know when we’re ready to get married? Some people say you just know, you feel it. But do you feel love or lust? Is it the right time to get married? Are the important things discussed and in place? Are you ready to share your life with someone else, your money, your car, your bed? I recently heard someone on television say that marriage is “a three-year commitment.” Although it was meant to be a joke, I wonder how many people think that marriage is a temporary commitment, something to be enjoyed only as long as it’s fun.
I believe marriage is a life-long commitment. I think when you’re ready, you will feel it. But the way you feel it is important. Things will fall into place. There won’t be doubts. I think that getting married was the easiest decision I ever made. I knew I had lust for my husband, but there was a lot more to things than that. Being able to share wisdom with one another, for example, is an important sign of being ready to get married.
Some people get married young and don’t even know themselves before they get married. Some grow together, and others grow apart. Only time will tell if a young marriage is viable. In contrast, statistics show that couples who get married in their 30’s and 40’s stay together longer. Another major determiner is whether or not the couple has shared spiritual beliefs. A basic belief in God is one thing that keeps couples together longer, especially if they share the same religion with the same spiritual “laws” governing their lives. An example of this is the Amish and old order Mennonite traditions.
Another indicator of how long a couple stays married may be how long they are dating or have known each other, at least as friends, before marriage. Sure, a week may not be long enough, but a couple of months or years may show whether or not this person is the one for you. My husband and I only knew each other for three months and a day before we got married. We’ve been married for over three years so far, and I definitely know that he is meant to be my life partner. And yes, I still find him incredibly attractive!
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One thing I can say, is I never did see him and I getting old together. I always told myself we will be married forever, but I could never imagine it. Maybe if you can see getting old with that person, it will happen.
If two people are willing to work out things during their marriage when problems arise, then I believe their marriage will last. If you can see yourself getting old with that person, I believe your marriage will last.
My parents were married for 54 years, until my father past away a year ago. It's been really hard on my mother. She loved him more and more through the years. Now she lives with me. She is lonely without him and always will be.
My mother imagined her and my father growing old together, and it happened. Like I said, I could never imagine my ex and I growing old together. It just would never enter my mind no matter how hard I tried.