Whats in a name?
October 10th 2006 07:24
There is something that is really starting to tick me off and that is parents who decide to give their children these terribly awful pretentious first names. The worst offenders surprise surprise comes from celebrities. Coco, Pilot Inspektor (yes it’s spelt with a “k” to really aggravate me a little more), Milo, Apple, Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Hiraani Tigerlily and all five of George Foreman’s boys are actually called George, but an apparently ordinary sports mad couple in the US have out celebritied the celebrities and taken it to another level by calling their child (I kid you not) ESPN. God I hope those are his initials because that kid is gonna get some hell when he grows, if they aren’t, that’s okay because the karma of parenthood dictates that what was laid on him he will give back to his parents in due time.
Why isn’t there a law to protect children from this kind of embarrassment? We create laws for the protection of children from all kinds of abuse but we don’t have one for the naming of children. Oh, I’m going to hear it now from those of you who’d claim that it’d be an infringement human liberties and on privacy. Why should you have the right to get to name your child something extravagantly embarrassing? Do you think your child will honestly thank you for calling them “Apple” or “Pilot Inspektor”? Would you like to be lumped with a name along those lines? Just as the formation of a new company needs a name, a newborns name should need to pass through a system to make sure that the names workable and if it’s not…then that’s just tough! Pick another name and make sure it’s something practical and sensible if you don’t mind. Why not bring in the parents and interview them to make sure they’re not high on some kind of drug or don’t have the IQ of a solitary potato? It irritates me that parents call their children after their heroes whether they are sports or musical or whatever and it also strikes me as egotistical that parents will give the child their name and claim tradition. “Oh, my name is Charles Robin Huntinghurst the XIV. The name has been in our family for generations.”
What is wrong with these parents? There are so many other normal names out there and they choose to call new individuals after themselves? It lacks originality and reeks of laziness. “Gee, I can’t be bothered to find a name for our newborn son. Let me just take the easy way out and call him after me!” Let’s just hope your child brings more imagination into this world buddy because even Homer Simpson didn’t name his son after himself, and if Homer has more imagination than you…
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Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Inner West Life
My older son has a very ordinary name. My younger son has a name from your “vile list”. My little sister had an unusual name and I always wished my parents had been more adventurous with mine. I hated that I had to share my name with three other girls in my class.
Statistics from the New South Wales Births, Deaths and Marriages website –
13.9% of all boys and 11.5% of all girls
have names in the top ten. 52.6% of boys named in 2005 are in the Top 100. 41.1% of girls named in 2005 are in the Top 100.