What is love worth?
A friend of mine is great at choosing disastrous relationships. If there is a bad guy out there for the taking, she will take him, fall madly in love with him and then be left dumbfounded when he breaks her heart and moves on to his next victim.
Then 'he' came along, the one she always referred to as 'The One'.
But the timing for his arrival was all wrong. She had just come out of one of the worst of her relationships and could not understand why this man wanted her. She kept asking him when he was going to become like the rest and treat her badly and then move on. He never gave up chasing her though and never gave her reason to doubt his affection. However, she had closed off her heart and refused to allow him in. Yet inside she yearned for him, and even years after he left, she continued to yearn for him. She took on other lovers, but these men became playthings, people to fill the void while she waited...
...and she waited. Across the continents and all through time, her path would always collide with this mans. Random phone calls in the middle of the night. Single emails every few months, of simple phrases like 'Hi, how are you keeping?' and then nothing more. Until the day the email came that shattered her heart.
'I am getting married - what do you think of that?'
The problem with text is that you cannot see the expression, nor hear the tone in which something has been said. Was this a last cry - please come back to me, this is your last chance? Or was this his idea of revenge - he knew how this would cut to the core. Was he only getting married to make her suffer?
The marriage lasted only a couple of years and soon the emails and the phone calls had more distance between them. Stories filtered in from mutual friends of his feelings still being there for her as strong as ever, yet her calls to him went unanswered, her emails to him unreplied.
Their lives have taken them in completely different directions now. He works in one part of the world and travels to another part of the world whenever he can to visit his young daughter, whilst she lives in neither of those places.
So where do you draw the line when it comes to love? Is this kind of love worth moving to the other side of the world for, just for a few moments once a month or more to be together? What about the times inbetween when you find yourself alone, doing things with friends and always being the third wheel, the one without the date, the one in the single room on weekend getaways? Is this love worth fighting for, or is it simple chasing a memory that may no longer be as good as what it was?
What would you be prepared to do for love?
Then 'he' came along, the one she always referred to as 'The One'.
But the timing for his arrival was all wrong. She had just come out of one of the worst of her relationships and could not understand why this man wanted her. She kept asking him when he was going to become like the rest and treat her badly and then move on. He never gave up chasing her though and never gave her reason to doubt his affection. However, she had closed off her heart and refused to allow him in. Yet inside she yearned for him, and even years after he left, she continued to yearn for him. She took on other lovers, but these men became playthings, people to fill the void while she waited...
...and she waited. Across the continents and all through time, her path would always collide with this mans. Random phone calls in the middle of the night. Single emails every few months, of simple phrases like 'Hi, how are you keeping?' and then nothing more. Until the day the email came that shattered her heart.
'I am getting married - what do you think of that?'
The problem with text is that you cannot see the expression, nor hear the tone in which something has been said. Was this a last cry - please come back to me, this is your last chance? Or was this his idea of revenge - he knew how this would cut to the core. Was he only getting married to make her suffer?
The marriage lasted only a couple of years and soon the emails and the phone calls had more distance between them. Stories filtered in from mutual friends of his feelings still being there for her as strong as ever, yet her calls to him went unanswered, her emails to him unreplied.
Their lives have taken them in completely different directions now. He works in one part of the world and travels to another part of the world whenever he can to visit his young daughter, whilst she lives in neither of those places.
So where do you draw the line when it comes to love? Is this kind of love worth moving to the other side of the world for, just for a few moments once a month or more to be together? What about the times inbetween when you find yourself alone, doing things with friends and always being the third wheel, the one without the date, the one in the single room on weekend getaways? Is this love worth fighting for, or is it simple chasing a memory that may no longer be as good as what it was?
What would you be prepared to do for love?
Infognito
QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
Well, hmmm.. since I have been chaste for 15 years now... started out by choice, in my early days of recovery (sobriety), (which was recommended by my sponsor not to start new relationships in the first year) then it became habit and then it just... well I suddenly realized I had gotten old and undesirable... cough... sniff..
Anyhoo, my cynical side would answer your question with, HEY! HIRE IT!! This way, if you have lots of money, you can hire by the hour, getting your temporary lover to buy flowers, tiny love gifts and desperate notes of yearning and whatnot, whisper sweet nothings in your ear, BEG for IT, and then sob, ever so slightly, as you part again at the front door.... this way you have no alimony, divorce or live in quarrels... or clashes with decore... very important!
But then, I'd become too attached, get jealous of his other clients, then insist that I am his only client... and then it would become utter hell for me and probably him too!!!!
Maybe I am better off with my right arm afterall...
By the way, your pal sounds like a classic masochist, with such low self esteem, that she must have a sadist to satisfy her!
Awful situation, she needs therapy, I think.
I need.... sigh... I won't go on, I'll just toddle off now, to my stark, vacant bedroom, lay down on my vast sprawling bed, and listen to the silence... well, not complete silence, nor is it anything remotely like it, as I share my bed with my mum's ancient pugsy wugsy... oh well..
GOD I AM SOUNDING PATHETIC TONIGHT!
Got to go, tomorrow I will bounce back!
cheers
fog
Postmodern Critic
Daily Inspirations
Relativity Watch
Padsoc
A touching story.
Love is like gold fever for some people. They will waist an entire life digging in the wrong direction and finding nothing but fools gold. Then they hit an age where they realize that they have lost a decade where they could have been happy.
Hence I do not match make if I can help it.
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Budget Centsability
Kalikapsychosis
But I told him straight out, that he cant get in the way of my dreams, my first love. That I wouldnt stop for anyone, even him. I cop it now - "I love you more than you love me" Kinda crap, but for this life, I have my path. Its nice to have love, it is something I always wanted, but I have to follow my path. So far, it hasnt been a problem.
I have changed for him though, something I said Id never do!
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Celebrity Obsession
I agree with PMC though, if your friend has feelings then maybe she needs to say it. Find out once and for all.
Not that long ago, I started seeing a guy who has been one of my closest friends for 17 years. And I knew that he had feelings for me - but I didn't want to wreck our friendship so was very hesitant to let anything happen. Then one day he and his brother decided to quit their jobs and move to the other side of the country. Suddenly I panicked and realised that A) I didnt want him to move away and B) what would I do if he met someone else?
It was about that time that I accepted that at some point we were going to change our relationship (it took another couple of months, but we got there).
Thankfully he and his brother decided not to move!
Potter in a Harry
If there's no 'real' communication? You're stuffed. Forget about all the virtual or bullshit communication. I'm talking real communication.
There's some really intersting things in this post.
Yeah, like a guy is supposed to understand that? And go. She wants me? I can tell cos she's closed off her heart to me? Um hello? Then the next moment she goes, what is you don't understand about the word No?
Boy that's a smart move. Most guys will go. She still wants me. She's taken on other lovers to prove it too.
Again it's all about the fact that men and women are different. Women do some strange things to prove their love for a man, and vice versa.
I'd better go. Or I'll bang on about this for ages.
Love Speaks
Food Slate
If it's meant to be, it will be..but without good, deep conversations...it all seems too fairytale like...
The wonderful Peter Yang's Variety blog
Power Ranger Online
Comedy TV Online
Swine Flu, Swine Flu, Swine Flu!!!
Most expert believes that, conservative culture, fairy tales and women's own high desire for love are usually the reason that get women into abusive relationship in the first place.
I actually wrote a post about this topic here on Orble as well. You should have a look at it as well, after you voted, read and commented on this post
It is amount my spotling post.
Cheers
The Home Guru
KidAntics
ANonnyMouse
He informed me he was married through a text message, successfully tearing my heart in two.
I still wonder from time to time what might have been.
Tell your friend to pack up and move to him. And do it yesterday.
I Wish This Was 42
Fictional Worlds
Each person is different and would need to weigh the choices heavily. Because you can never really know.
~Dianna
This woman was stupid, she had it and let it go and now regrets it and it's too late. some of us don't even get that chance. I would go to the end of the earth for the one i love but if you push someone too far and you lose them you have noboby to blame but yourself.
Potter in a Harry
What's Your Story?
Big Day Plunge
Now...
Is this love worth fighting for, or is it simple chasing a memory that may no longer be as good as what it was?
I don't know if it's worth fighting for as they both didn't really try hard enough to see if it would work. Or perhaps the lady didn't try hard enough.
I'm kind of a reckless romantic. I'd rather be that way though, give 100% of myself and risk a broken heart, then to just give 20% and keep wondering later on when the relationship doesn't work out, "What if?"
Parent Slate
Loved this post. Life is so complicated isn't it!
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
15 years? My word! Aww people get married at 80, there is hope for everyone out there. Have you watched ’28 days’ with Sandra Bullock? Tee hee your comment reminded me of that – where they tell the guy he has to get a plant for a year and then a dog for a year and if both are still alive then he can think about starting a relationship.
The plant died and the dog wasn`t looking too happy, bless him!
Rent it? HAHAHAHAHA! I`ll pass that one on – get what you like when you like.
Get all zooted up and head out to the next bar and strut your stuff young man – this is an order!
Ciao bella
Hey Epiphanie
Yeah a complicated story, I guess the time was just not right. Sad how some things turn out, but it all happens for a reason.
Hi Damo
You`re right there, there are a lot of people walking around looking in the wrong place and settling for the worst. Sadly, there are also a lot of people who prey on that weakness in others too. It`s a crazy world we live in, that`s for sure!
Match making almost always ends in some sort of disaster!
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Yeah you got that right – we are VERY flawed, but also, as you say, things do happen for a reason. At the moment my friend seems to struggle with realising that and chasing after something which doesn’t look like it`s going to go anywhere – as Damo said, wasting time really.
Hiya K
Ahhh yours and Kmans relationship is certainly one of a kind. You seem to have worked out some kind of system that manages to cater for the others needs. That`s a recipe for a long and strong future together.
I guess we all do things for love that we said we never would – compromise is a huge thing when you have to live with someone else.
Hey Cib
Yep, the career issue is also a tough – when you`re talking about the other side of the world it`s not easy to make the necessary adjustments to be together. Sometimes it`s just downright impossible!
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Ahhh good that everything worked out for you – that`s a tough one too, when you are friends with someone for so long and then things take a turn in the relationship, is it worth risking it and losing your friendship. It`s great that it has turned out well for you – and at least, after 17 years, you kinda know him
Hi David,
she had closed off her heart and refused to allow him in. Yet inside she yearned for him
Yeah, like a guy is supposed to understand that? And go. She wants me? I can tell cos she's closed off her heart to me? Um hello? Then the next moment she goes, what is you don't understand about the word No?
She took on other lovers, but these men became playthings, people to fill the void while she waited..
Boy that's a smart move. Most guys will go. She still wants me. She's taken on other lovers to prove it too.
It`s not quite as cut and dried as that because I most probably didn`t explain it in enough depth, but I can see where you are coming from. He knew the relationship she had just come out of was a bad one and gave her space to work through it, I guess when someone`s heart has been squashed too many times, sometimes it can`t be fixed. And both of them moved on, into different relationships after the break up, which was when he decided to get married.
Communication is of the utmost importance – as you say though, men and women think and act differently, and sometimes those actions can be seen in the wrong light. What an interesting place the world would be if we could read each others thoughts.
Hey Lara
Ahhh the whole absence makes the heart grow fonder argument! VERY true! It`s weird how something can always seem better when it`s not there!
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Ah I haven`t read your post , I will have a look through your blog and find it – it sounds like a very interesting read. Thank you for coming by, I`ll link your post on here when I find it.
Hiya Mac
Ahh yes, that was my advice too, but I think she left it too late! She has given him a lot of time to let his anger/resentment fester.
Hey Tawny
It`s terrible what emotions can do us, who they can make us into. I hope that one day you will find someone who can come close to the love you lost. It`s a tough one to come to terms with, no doubt!
Hi Dianna
I wish life were that simple, but sometimes when you have had rough experiences before it can blur the lines a bit. You are right, each person has to weigh up their options though
Thanks for your comment.
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Thanks for your compliment. ‘What if’ is the worst thought isn`t it? One that can drive someone insane!
Hi Carmen
What a great story! May your future be a happy one together after all that you went through. sometimes you just have to. 100% agree!
Life is complicated…. TOTALLY!
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
You’ve said it all! Make all the excuses, at the end of the day it’s gone now, too late, lost to the halls of time with no chance to turn back the clock. I guess it isn`t fair to make someone else suffer for anothers actions.
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
A very popular post friend. What a conundrum! I always err on the side of love.
Mis
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories