What happened to Manners?
Ladies and Gentlemen...Manners has left the building!
It just seems that it has become an acceptable practice to be rude these days. What happened to men not swearing in front of ladies? Now the girls have fouler mouths than the guys do. When ever do you see a man holding a door open for a lady or opening a car door for her to get in?
We were taught to stand when someone came in the room for the first time and to greet that person respectfully. Men were to shake hands when introducing themselves. I see kids coming over to my familys house and you are lucky if you even get a grunt of a hello.
Mum's Word
Absolutely bring back the manners. I'm with you.
When my eldest was about 3 years old, we were standing a supermarket checkout. She wanted to get passed the lady that was standing behind us so she said "Excuse me".
Well this lady was taken aback. "how cute" she said. It's not cute, it's manners. I don't quite understand why she thought that my 3 year old was too young to learn manners.
If you don't teach them young, when exactly is a good time?
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I agree. It seems that teachers rely on parents to do it and parents rely on the teachers to do it, yet neither are so they are falling by the way side.
Similar to your story I was at work the other day and this boy of about 10 came up to the counter and took his hat off and said, "Hello" so politely with a huge grin on his face. I was flabergasted and complimented his grandfather who in turn was flabergasted that I was flabergasted!
I don`t think any time is too young to teach them the younger they are the more it becomes second nature.
Good on you for having instilled this in your kids! I think you deserve a huge pat on the back!
Have a lovely day
Ash
Poker Addict
I have often been complimented on my polite manners (to my chagrin). For example, I saw a lady about 10 years older than myself who obviously was going to enter the same 7-11 where I was heading. So, of course, I held the door for her to pass inside. She was so so suprised, thanked my profusely, heck the lady was in shock. Even inside she thanked me again and also commented that not too many young people would do that these days. Her surprise surprised me as what did she think I would do, just open the door for myself & then slam shut behind me? I'd be ashamed of myself.
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Yeah sadly I have seen this many times too - young people barging infront of elderly folk and nearly knocking them out the way. Also on buses, clearly they are old and frail and have trouble holding themselves up with the bus drivers (this is a WHOLE new post! ) driving and yet the kids just sit and watch them being thrown around.
There also seems to be an increase of violence against old people too - why you would intentionally hurt someone who cannot defend themselves is beyond me. I guess this is the essence of bullying
Pat on the back for you too!
Ash
Just popping in to vote on this post.
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Thanks for stopping by! Good to have you around
Have a fab one
Ash
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Love this post, love this subject...
I remain in two minds on this one because whilst I can see a decline in traditional manners I see a new honour-amongst-thieves-type code emerging amongst the youth of today that is to their generation…however, herein lies the contradiction, because I must say, I have never yet come across bad manners in youngens personally and I still have doors opened for me... I guess I'm lucky... or because my eldest is disabled...(?) either way, surprisingly there seems to remain some tangible degree of traditional respect...
I was bought up by strict European parents and values... if an elder was not sitting on a bus, you got up and you felt pretty darn good for doing it too... that's the pay off for manners I think, like anything - help your brothers boat and your own will reach the distant shore all by itself, which is a bit off topic, but I am a strong believer in this philosophy... my point, I guess is, when did we stop teaching these values to children – was it when mothers decided to dump their babies in day care centres at the age of three and six months…? (sorry but that’s going to inflame some mothers… but I have an opinion)… change in society is never random, there is always a root cause…
...do you think it's partly why the young have no self respect within a consumer driven society where both parents work and family values have taken a back seat in the quest for ‘more...?’
Personally… and I will probably have rotten tomatoes thrown at me for saying this… but… I think if you cannot afford to stay home and raise your child, then you shouldn’t have one. You need at least 8 years of financial freedom to have one, if you want to do the job properly… like the bank, you only get out what you put in… but you see, I was raised with old fashioned values…
Lilla…
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Thanks for the comment. Brings up some throught-provoking questions here:
I think you are really lucky that you haven`t come across any bad mannered kids. I`m not sure if it is just because where I come from we are 500 years behind so our 2000`s are probably equivalent to your 1980`s (not quite 500 years hey!) but to me the kids have lost the respect that elders deserve. Perhaps because I am not quite old enough to warrant the pleasure of someone opening a door for me I am noticing it more (not that I would expect that by the way because I sure ain`t the Queen!).
I am beginning to understand the age old "when I was your age" quote! I can see such huge differences in this emerging generation from when I was growing up and I look at some of them and actually cringe. Kids yelling at adults and calling them all the names under the sun, threatening them with all sorts. It is not something that I would be proud to associate with a time that I was growing up in.
Yep! I hear you - the reward for your manners was that you had done something good. And I think that the break down of the family unit does have something to do with this. Mothers for generations have stayed at home and looked after their kids. My mum did and at the same time ran a very successful company from home without the compromise of the family. I realise that the cost of living these days is nowhere near what it was before, but as you say you should have financial freedom before thinking of having kids.
Perhaps that is also where the problem lies - children are no longer really seen as a responsibility. They are just the norm and are expected to be independent and look after themselves. Good for them, but at what cost?
Whew my mind is in a spin and I could go on for ages!
Thanks for stopping by.
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Yes, it's financial : and any less consideration would be selfish in my view, not only to the abandoned child, who will seek some attention and without guidelines, not always good attention.
There's the question of diet here too Ash, without proper nuturing from a dedicated mother with some savvy anout nutrition, today's youth is proably buzzing about the place on anything from 1,000 to 8,000 new additives and chemicals, not to menton normal things like teenage hormones, illegal chemicals and mood shifters and the alcohol... I'd be forgetting my manners too hey..(!)... you know... which door, the one on the right or the left...? actually... some of the youth I know today are so spaced out they don't know that they are remotely connected to the planet in any other way other than through an ipod or Game Cube... not that there is anything wrong with music and technology for recreation... I'm talking moderation, not argumentation.... imagine a world of 200 serious heavy metal chemicals, heavy metal inside your ears and killing people and chickens on the screen for up to 10 hours a day...
...my heart really goes out there... honestly...
They used to give hashish to men to create assisins because it lessened their conscience and made them better at their work...that's just one chemical imbalance.. I feel so sorry for the old people...and me too when I get to 80 and walk away from an ATM... God help us all...
oh I could go on too...but i'll stop there...it's getting too dystopic...
sorry...
Lilla...
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
My uncle has regular family meetings that he calls "Tool box meetings" where the whole family will sit down and talk about what is bothering them, what they expect etc. It is a great way for everyone to share = and their rule is that what is said at the meeting stays at the meeting - afterwards there are no grudges, no questions, its done and dusted.
I have banned my brother from Pepsi. I dont live with him but make time every so often to go down to SYdney and see him and the last few times he has had it he has been a nightmare! ANd he is 14 so its not like he is even a kid!
Yes hopefully we will teach our kids to look after us in our old age. As they say, be nice to your kids, they choose your nursing home.................
I can remember back when I learned how to kick and punch in creative ways. Courtesy was one of the main virtues that was instilled. Party because when you get say one hundred people in oneplace that know how to break bones and so forth, a little understanding can go a very long way. But mainly because to be considering others on a daily basis develop's ones character for the better.
It also really, really helps you learn to deal with people and sometimes see the best in them. Which isn't a bad thing either.
JZ
Gifted Parenting
Freelance For Life
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Wise words! And coming from a guy that`s even better. Courtesy does not cost a thing and makes everyones day better than rudeness.
As you say it also helps you to deal with people better which is really important too. Road rage would be down to a minimum!
Thanks for your comment!
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
It is sad isn`t it? I was talking to someone on MSN the other day and this kid came online - well the abuse that I got from that kid was shocking! And I can assure I did nothing to bring it on. He used words that made me cringe....and from an eleven year old. I thought, "My word kid, what kind of parents do you have?!?"
Nice to hear from you
Ash
Yeah, there are alot of guys out there that don't realise the best thing about courtesy. It costs you nothing and you get it back after you give it to someone.
JZ
Celebrity Obsession
I'm 32, but if I'm on the train and I see an older person standing, I give them my seat. It costs me nothing to do so. But I was on the train and an extremely heavily pregnant woman got on. Not one single person offered her their seat. I thought it was terrible.
And don't even get me started on mobile phone etiquette!! My sister was at uni and during a class, a teacher asked one of the students a question and he asked her to hold on a second while he took a phone call from a friend and organised his lunch date with the friend!! What the????
Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint. In fact, I swear like a trooper! But I have manners and think that every should.
It's sad when we are surprised when we come across people with good manners!
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Yep that`s it, it does not matter what age you are, a little bit of respect for someone else goes a long way. Imagine if that woman had been bumped around and something happened to her baby? Crazy!
Mobile phones is another thing! I was doing an interview the other day and this kid walks in, sits down and and a few minutes later his mobile phone starts ringing. So instead of him TURNING IT OFF BEFORE THE INTERVIEW he says, "Just hold on I have to take this". I could not believe my ears. I can understand if there is an emergency and the person says BEFORE "Do you mind if I take a call, it may be an emergency?" but in this case.....NO! He did not even get a chance I`m afraid.
Yeah I don`t think any of us are saints, I know I sure am not, but manners are just showing you have respect for others which in todays world is highly important.
Thanks for sharing
Ash