What are your thoughts on Baby Co-sleeping?
February 11th 2009 01:10
One thing I think about as I wear the carpet between my room and the nursery is whether I, and the rest of the household for that matter, would be better off just sneaking the bub into bed with me instead of trudging up and down the hall every twenty minutes in the wee hours of the morning. This way, hubby won’t find me bawling along with bub at 4.20am, wailing, “I can’t do this anymore” and we can all get extra hours of sleep.
Baby co-sleeping is a controversial topic. According to Babywise (by Ezzo & Bucknam), the most serious problems they encountered are associated with parents and babies who co-sleep and that co-sleeping actually prevents a good night’s sleep with the babies growing up to have sleep problems including night walking. Furthermore, US Consumer Protect Safety Commission issued a report claiming that co-sleeping with your baby puts them at risk for suffocation and strangulation. The seven-year study tracked deaths of over 500 infants due to parent overlay and co-sleeping with infants.
On the other hand, Dr Sears refutes these reports, adding that babies who sleep on their own are actually more at risk when it comes to SIDS. With co-sleeping, mother and baby are attuned to each other, makes breastfeeding easier, both mother and baby get more sleep time and if done the safe way, babies thrive better when co-sleeping. Dr Sears lists down some safe baby co-sleeping practices :
- don’t sleep with your baby on a couch, beanbags or waterbeds as they may slip into the crevice or get wedged against the back of the couch.
- Don’t sleep with your baby if under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.
- Don’t sleep with your baby if you are a smoker, even if you’re not smoking in bed.
- Avoid any stuffed animals, pillows and heavy blankets around the baby.
- Babies should sleep on their backs on firm, clean surfaces and away from curtains or blinds that have strings that could strangle the baby.
- Mothers with excessively long hair should tie it up to prevent strangulation.
Hubby and I agreed from the beginning that we wouldn’t co-sleep with bub so we went through the effort of moving into a bigger house so bub could get his own decorated room. Ten weeks later and after endless chats with fellow mothers on the parenting forums, my critical opinion of baby co-sleeping began to wane, then shifted in the other direction when, one day nap, I was too tired to re-settle bub in his cot so I ended up napping with him in my arms. Feeling his small hand on my chest, his warm breath on my cheek and seeing how content and safe he looked being hugged was a beautiful experience and I could easily ignore the grunts, sighs, snorts and cries he made in his sleep. On top of that, and I realise I’m getting ahead of myself with this, I figured bub won’t stay a bub forever and eventually, he’ll itch to get out of the house and I’m going to wish for these days when he just wants to be cuddled.
Unfortunately, hubby, who’s usually mild-mannered and tends to say yes without listening just to shut me up, has put his foot down and added that if I want to co-sleep, I’m banned from the bedroom and I would have to sleep on the cold floor of the nursery, which means stiff limbs and permanent wake-time.
The co-sleeping no-no rule may still apply in our household but I figured sleeping with bub for an occasional nap or two won’t do any harm in the long run. After all, he’s not going to stay small and cuddly forever.
Baby co-sleeping is a controversial topic. According to Babywise (by Ezzo & Bucknam), the most serious problems they encountered are associated with parents and babies who co-sleep and that co-sleeping actually prevents a good night’s sleep with the babies growing up to have sleep problems including night walking. Furthermore, US Consumer Protect Safety Commission issued a report claiming that co-sleeping with your baby puts them at risk for suffocation and strangulation. The seven-year study tracked deaths of over 500 infants due to parent overlay and co-sleeping with infants.
On the other hand, Dr Sears refutes these reports, adding that babies who sleep on their own are actually more at risk when it comes to SIDS. With co-sleeping, mother and baby are attuned to each other, makes breastfeeding easier, both mother and baby get more sleep time and if done the safe way, babies thrive better when co-sleeping. Dr Sears lists down some safe baby co-sleeping practices :
- don’t sleep with your baby on a couch, beanbags or waterbeds as they may slip into the crevice or get wedged against the back of the couch.
- Don’t sleep with your baby if under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.
- Don’t sleep with your baby if you are a smoker, even if you’re not smoking in bed.
- Avoid any stuffed animals, pillows and heavy blankets around the baby.
- Babies should sleep on their backs on firm, clean surfaces and away from curtains or blinds that have strings that could strangle the baby.
- Mothers with excessively long hair should tie it up to prevent strangulation.
If Mama won't co-sleep with me, maybe Blubber would
Hubby and I agreed from the beginning that we wouldn’t co-sleep with bub so we went through the effort of moving into a bigger house so bub could get his own decorated room. Ten weeks later and after endless chats with fellow mothers on the parenting forums, my critical opinion of baby co-sleeping began to wane, then shifted in the other direction when, one day nap, I was too tired to re-settle bub in his cot so I ended up napping with him in my arms. Feeling his small hand on my chest, his warm breath on my cheek and seeing how content and safe he looked being hugged was a beautiful experience and I could easily ignore the grunts, sighs, snorts and cries he made in his sleep. On top of that, and I realise I’m getting ahead of myself with this, I figured bub won’t stay a bub forever and eventually, he’ll itch to get out of the house and I’m going to wish for these days when he just wants to be cuddled.
Unfortunately, hubby, who’s usually mild-mannered and tends to say yes without listening just to shut me up, has put his foot down and added that if I want to co-sleep, I’m banned from the bedroom and I would have to sleep on the cold floor of the nursery, which means stiff limbs and permanent wake-time.
The co-sleeping no-no rule may still apply in our household but I figured sleeping with bub for an occasional nap or two won’t do any harm in the long run. After all, he’s not going to stay small and cuddly forever.
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Comment by katyzzz
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Husband will not be impressed.
Comment by Cibbuano
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Comment by Mrs M
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My first actually slept longer when she slept with me...and so did I which meant we were all happier.
They all still climb into bed with me now every now and then.
Co-sleeping just made me feel...love. It was so nice. I wonder if there's a study out there measuring serotonin levels or oxytocin levels when mothers co-slept with their babies.
It doesn't last forever and babies do generally end up wanting their own space. But I have to say that in the first few months it saved me.
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Comment by Dawn Ellis-Lopez
I co-slept with all of my kids, and even with the one-year-old (who wasn't "into it" after about four months), he sleeps in his crib in our room. If he wakes up (which still occasionally happens, especially around teething times), I'm right there and can take care of his needs without having to traverse huge distances.
The fact is, co-sleeping is natural, helpful, and with Mom and Dad there, the baby sleeps better and learns to sleep the night through. And even just with the baby in the room instead of in bed, the natural rhythm of nearby breathing is now shown to REDUCE the chance of SIDS. (And, really, all that is is a statistic since they still don't know for sure what SIDS is, but it's one to pay attention to.)
My kids never had the "still want to sleep with Mommy and Daddy" problem - they reached a point (a different age for each of them) that they just didn't want to anymore. Even now, we'll only get that tiny little knock in the middle of the night if someone is having growing pains.
What's the hubby so worried about? The only (extremely rare) cases of smothering have come from circumstances where there was extreme substance abuse going on - as in, one or both of the parents were so looped on drugs or alcohol that they didn't have any concept of their surroundings. For the other 400 bazillion people who co-sleep, we are better rested, more sane and all around happier parents and babies.
(Plus, there's nothing like that night-night snuggle to just really let you appreciate your little tyke. It's bonding time, too, for Mommy and Daddy.)
Comment by Aimzster
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Cib, it's quite common in Western culture for the baby to have its own room from the beginning and all doctors I've come across have all encouraged the practice but always added hastily, "Well, whatever works for you really."
Mrs M & Dawn, that's what I was thinking. How can something so natural be wrong? I've napped with bub and I'm always conscious that he's beside me and I'm also the type of person who wakes up at the slightest noise so the risk of me smothering him would be pretty slim, I'd say. But we'll see how we go. The great thing is that bub IS actually sleeping through from 8pm to 4am now, in his own room and I'm just afraid if I introduce co-sleeping at night now, it might break his whole routine altogether.
Comment by Michelle Sweeney
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Comment by Aimzster
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Hubby is more concerned about the safety issue. One of the reasons I kept suggesting co-sleeping because hubby and I are running shifts throughout the night. So since bub was born, we haven't been in the same bed together.
Comment by Mrs M
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With my first I brought her into our bed when she woke up at 5am after a long sleep. I used to be able to get another 3 hours out of her bringing it to 8am.
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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my dad always says a screaming baby is the most torturous sound hes ever experienced . . . nearly unbearable . . . so whatever you have to do to minimise that has got to be a good thing!
good luck!
Comment by Aimzster
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Morgan, I asked around my mothers' group yesterday and half of them do have their babies' cot in the room. Surprisingly, only one did it to be closer to the baby, others because they didn't have a spare room.
Comment by Teresa Ralton
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READ THIS
SISTERS IN CRIME
Comment by Sara Dobson
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I am probably too late to add anything new to this. But I have never co slept for 2 reasons. I was scared that I was going to roll over and suffocate my baby and two I had a friend that did that and now her baby is nearly three and will not go to sleep at night unless her parents are in the room sitting by the bed.
I just chose never to give my daughter that option and she was sleeping through from 2 months on her own.
It sounds like all babies are different though. I suppose I was given a nice one to start with to lull me into a false sense of secrurity so I will have another one. That one will probably be a screamer!