Weight Loss, Priorities, and Difficult People
February 11th 2012 23:20
If you have been keeping a written record as discussed earlier, you have undoubtedly come across certain observations. For example, you may have noticed that certain situations caused anxiety or anger and resulted in undesired consequences. In any case, recognizing that you choose how you act, consciously or subconsciously, and that you have the power to control your own behavior and make change, is important.
Considering that you cannot change all or many behaviors at the same time, it becomes important to prioritize. What one behavior causes you the most stress, whether it be linked to an intensely negative emotion or serious and stressful consequences? Ultimately, you will have to decide what gives you the biggest headaches or what behavior or consequences, if reduced or eliminated, would help you feel better or more confident. Once you've identified your focus area, you can begin to conceptualize how you can make the desired changes.
Let's look at examples. Consider the case of individuals who are in the process of losing weight and prioritizing their desire to change their communication. They may want to deal more effectively with difficult people, be less "snappy" with people, and/or get into less arguments or other verbal disputes.
It is helpful to understand that while overeating and obesity are not actions and conditions consciously desired by most people, they do provide certain benefits that can stand in the way of successful weight loss. These include being able to stuff things down rather than deal with them as well as to numb the feeling of emotional pain. This, in turn, allows individuals to remain in negative situations and relationships they really do not deserve and should not tolerate.
It is also helpful to remember that weight loss has its own benefits as well, including increased sense of self-pride and renewed or enhanced self-worth. These, in turn, allow individuals to be better self-advocates for their own needs and rights. However, this new and growing sense of self-value has its own set of challenges.
Without the extra weight cushion or the effect of overeating their "comfort" foods, individuals face continuing to deal with difficult people but with a heightened sense of self-respect and self-value. As a result, they may be more irritable at times, but they may also start to speak up more, often rightfully so, expressing that enough is enough, or that they deserve better.
However, without having developed important interpersonal skills, they can resort to aggressive communication, blasting the other person or otherwise giving back the same inconsiderate, intimidating, or disrespectful treatment. While this may not affect a relationship with a stranger or people with whom one seldom interacts, it can result in numerous consequences, including increasing the possibilities of weight loss failure, deteriorating relationships, and being retaliated against.
An individual who prioritizes improving or changing his or her communication skills may choose the option of working on developing more effective verbal skills. This might be done by taking local courses in various subjects related to effective communication skills, including assertiveness training, conflict-resolution, negotiation, and/or diplomacy. More can also be learned through readings and by watching various videos available online as well as in libraries, bookstores, and through community organizations.
Review your progress periodically, even weekly to start, as you begin to develop your skills and establish new habits. Once you have achieved success and can maintain your healthier habit, choose one or two new priorities to begin working on and repeat the process. Additionally, if you find that one of your options isn't working, break it down into smaller steps or choose a different option that you feel may work better, and then try it.
Recognizing your immense inner power and making desired changes one step at a time helps form a strong foundation for successful, and most importantly, permanent, weight loss. So make your choice and remember that everything you need for your own success is within you.
Considering that you cannot change all or many behaviors at the same time, it becomes important to prioritize. What one behavior causes you the most stress, whether it be linked to an intensely negative emotion or serious and stressful consequences? Ultimately, you will have to decide what gives you the biggest headaches or what behavior or consequences, if reduced or eliminated, would help you feel better or more confident. Once you've identified your focus area, you can begin to conceptualize how you can make the desired changes.
Let's look at examples. Consider the case of individuals who are in the process of losing weight and prioritizing their desire to change their communication. They may want to deal more effectively with difficult people, be less "snappy" with people, and/or get into less arguments or other verbal disputes.
It is helpful to understand that while overeating and obesity are not actions and conditions consciously desired by most people, they do provide certain benefits that can stand in the way of successful weight loss. These include being able to stuff things down rather than deal with them as well as to numb the feeling of emotional pain. This, in turn, allows individuals to remain in negative situations and relationships they really do not deserve and should not tolerate.
It is also helpful to remember that weight loss has its own benefits as well, including increased sense of self-pride and renewed or enhanced self-worth. These, in turn, allow individuals to be better self-advocates for their own needs and rights. However, this new and growing sense of self-value has its own set of challenges.
Without the extra weight cushion or the effect of overeating their "comfort" foods, individuals face continuing to deal with difficult people but with a heightened sense of self-respect and self-value. As a result, they may be more irritable at times, but they may also start to speak up more, often rightfully so, expressing that enough is enough, or that they deserve better.
However, without having developed important interpersonal skills, they can resort to aggressive communication, blasting the other person or otherwise giving back the same inconsiderate, intimidating, or disrespectful treatment. While this may not affect a relationship with a stranger or people with whom one seldom interacts, it can result in numerous consequences, including increasing the possibilities of weight loss failure, deteriorating relationships, and being retaliated against.
An individual who prioritizes improving or changing his or her communication skills may choose the option of working on developing more effective verbal skills. This might be done by taking local courses in various subjects related to effective communication skills, including assertiveness training, conflict-resolution, negotiation, and/or diplomacy. More can also be learned through readings and by watching various videos available online as well as in libraries, bookstores, and through community organizations.
Review your progress periodically, even weekly to start, as you begin to develop your skills and establish new habits. Once you have achieved success and can maintain your healthier habit, choose one or two new priorities to begin working on and repeat the process. Additionally, if you find that one of your options isn't working, break it down into smaller steps or choose a different option that you feel may work better, and then try it.
Recognizing your immense inner power and making desired changes one step at a time helps form a strong foundation for successful, and most importantly, permanent, weight loss. So make your choice and remember that everything you need for your own success is within you.
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Comment by Paul K