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What constitutes bad manners? - by D. Armenta

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What constitutes bad manners? - March 2007

Wearing shoes indoors

March 21st 2007 01:51

This is a tough one. I've seen cases for both sides. One side says that shoes should always be removed when entering a home, in order not to track in dirt, water, etc. Others say that this is what doormats are for and that the sight and smell of bare feet and/or holey socks is far more offensive. Personally, I think that removing shoes is a good thing and that if it were universal it would perhaps encourage better personal hygiene (wearing clean, mended socks and regularly washing feet)..on the other hand, I know that there are many folks out there who simply cannot tolerate the sight of bare feet in public and consider them disrespectful. What's your view, and where are you from?

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Comment by Cibbuano

March 21st 2007 02:22

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I can't stand people wearing shoes in the house... it seems disgusting... I've noticed that a lot of Americans do this, but it seems vile in Canada. Perhaps because we have a lot of dirty snow?

Comment by D. Armenta

March 21st 2007 02:42

The Florida Keys and Everglades
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I'm with you, and I'm American..but I think it depends on where you live. In Hawaii, people are expected to remove their shoes at the door. I always do myself, but have been told, "You don't have to do that".

Comment by Joel Fortune

March 21st 2007 08:55

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If the person is particularly house proud I'll take my shoes off but like to avoid it when I can. My main concern is not ruining the flooring. Taking shoes off for me is a sign that I feel extremely comfortable in the house and in the company of the people there. So I'll usually only do it at really good friends houses, otherwise I'll keep it formal with the shoes. I've never considered this to be rude. From Sydney, Australia by the way.

Comment by youranter

March 23rd 2007 08:29

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I was told that as a guest in someones house, you keep your shoes on. If it's an informal visit you can take them off. Cibbuano has a good point about the snow here in Canada, but if you wear overshoes, there's no danger of tracking it into the house. Unfortunately, I think the overshoe has gone the way of the dinosaur.

Comment by Shani

May 13th 2007 10:24

Yeah, I feel much more comfortable with my shoes off, but usually only during an informal visit I suppose.

Comment by Anonymous

June 22nd 2007 16:17

It is discourteous and disgusting. Some things should only be done between consenting adults in private, and if anyone invited me to their house and did not wear shoes I would turn round and leave.

Comment by Anonymous

August 14th 2007 17:39

They probably don't want a tightass like you in it anyway.

Comment by Anonymous

September 25th 2007 08:37

I never wore shoes indoors as long as i remember, as my parents hated that...
and I think it's right ..because u dont want all that dirt in the street come straigt into your home ..but not everyone thinks this way ..
the trouble started when I got married ,, my husband respects my view... but his family???!! cant care less!! I never asked them to do so .. but when they come to our home i cant help thinking : God I hope they leave soon !! especially that now we have a little boy who crawls and pick whatever he sees on the carpet and put into his mouth .... I believe when u enter someone's house u should respect their rules no matter what !!

Comment by Eva W.

November 29th 2007 10:14

Life in Germany

To be honest, I hate having to take off my shoes when I visit someone's house, especially if it's a party and my shoes are an important part of my outfit.

I suddenly feel half-naked when I take them off.

To be fair, I also don't expect anyone to remove their shoes in my house (unless it's really wet and muddy outside).

This is one of the things that bugs me about Europe -- lots of people here expect you to remove your shoes when you come into their house. Being from Australia, I am totally not used to it. I can't recall a single shoe-removing incident in Sydney, although that could have just been my circle of friends.

Comment by Anonymous

November 29th 2007 18:05

I think climate would dictate this too. In Hawaii, the Philippines, and here in the Florida Keys we all remove our shoes--but everyone wears sandals in these places, so it's not a big production really.

Thanks for your comments!

D. Armenta

Comment by Anonymous

February 20th 2008 10:48

Here in Norway everybody takes of their shoes.

Comment by Anonymous

March 18th 2008 11:55

I live in an urban part of Asia (Singapore), and it has always been a custom in Asia to be barefoot in the house. Well, actually it's not even a custom, it's just... a natural thing to do! As natural as eating and breathing and shitting.

In Singapore we're pretty much exposed to the western culture, so I'm not surprised to know people actually wear their shoes indoors, but I personally don't know anyone who adheres to that custom, and I would very much be uncomfortable if any of them do.

It's not about being a "tight ass" or hygiene freak. Like I said earlier, it's a natural thing to do. PLUS logically speaking it makes alot more sense. I don't understand why people DON'T remove their shoes.

First of all, it's SO-O-O-O much more comfortable going barefoot. In fact, even in certain room in our school I'll remove my shoes. Come to think of it I have once or twice walked around in the cafeteria like that. (So you see, hygiene's not a big factor here.)

Though of course it IS one of them. To me, a home is where you can relax, and I like to lie on the floor and stuff. It would be pretty gross to be lying where your brother just stepped over and polluted with gum and grime and whatnot he picked up from outdoors wouldn't it?

I can't imagine stilfing my feet in shoes twelve hours a day. That's horrendous! It'll probably grow fungus and stink too.

Comment by Anonymous

March 18th 2008 14:13

Hi Anon.--yes, my husband (from Hawaii) feels the same way, as does my best friend (from Canada)..I think the best solution is offered by the Japanese and Filipinos, who offer "indoor slippers" at the front entrance.

According to standard Western etiquette, bare feet are unhygienic (in a public setting like a grocery store or restaurant, for instance) and therefore offensive. (Who knows where those feet have been, or if they're clean? The bottoms of the feet are a very fertile breeding ground for bacteria due to the constant shedding of skin flakes)

Why a "home policy" of removing shoes hasn't caught on, for the obvious reasons you stated, is beyond me! It makes perfect sense. My mum-in-law (in Hawaii) put a mat right at the front door that says "shoes here, please" and I adopted that for my home.

Thanks for your comments!

D. Armenta

Comment by Anonymous

July 24th 2008 07:55

I've always taken my shoes off - grew up that way, living in California with European parents. I trained my husband to take his shoes off and now that we have a baby he is a stickler for making sure everyone that enters our home takes their shoes off. I'm so happy he's adapted.

We live in San Francisco and the streets can be pretty gross out there. I really can't see how people can wear shoes in the house after walking through areas you know are contaminated. I hate to be graphic but I am always dodging spit wads on the sidewalk and I know I smell urine in some areas. WHY would I want to bring this into my home!!! Ugh.

I want that doormat!

Comment by D. Armenta

July 24th 2008 14:03

The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan

Hi Anon.--Another good reason! Funny, you can buy those "shoes here please" mats anywhere on Oahu, but I've never seen one for sale anywhere in the lower 48 states of the U.S.

Maybe a good home business, hmmmm....

I'd go with the indoor slippers thing too, for reasons stated in my last comment! Japan sells paper ones you put right by the shoe mat..great idea.

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