watching winter leaves
'Live each day like it`s your last'
she said to me,
through delicate lips lined by
many a wise word spoken,
sealed with a wink
from an eye holding
treasured scrolls of memories
worn by time
Years later I hear those words again
uttered from a different mouth
but one on the same final journey
...different tears escape
down the same cheeks
unable to hold themselves back...
Life feels like a sentence
...no chance for bail...
for breaks or breathers
no rewind button or pause
...always...
...constantly...
on play
I hate my...
I hate your...
I hate the constant fighting
I hate the mask that you make me wear
I hate that not even the cleanest tears will dissolve it
the spittle that errupts
from explosive, volcanic lips
settle on clenched fists
red, hot lava
words vehement
burning
cause so much destruction
I hate that I hate
for that is not
but...
I choose to use it
I choose to hate
I choose to wait for change
I choose to take each day for granted
...they flutter by so quickly
filled with empty hope
and mindless fears...
...time...
consumed by empty seconds
...ticking by...
leaking into hours
days
forever
watching winter leaves
float down on chilly air
for no reason
other than noticing time
from somewhere new
thoughts consumed by
...I want...
while idle actions fail to transform them
into glittering dreams
why is everything so hard
when I was never meant to be a miner?
why is life an uphill climb
when I am no mountaineer?
sometimes I wonder if I choose
to build these walls myself
to lay sturdy foundations of doubt
deep within the rocky ground of my being
confidently
word by word
thought by thought
a strong and mighty wall
begins to appear
around a steadily beating heart
a fortress strong and thick,
held fast with the mortar
mixed from others doubts
'Live each day like it`s your last'
I don`t want to die in battle
...she said to me,
through delicate lips lined by
many a wise word spoken,
sealed with a wink
from an eye holding
treasured scrolls of memories
worn by time
Years later I hear those words again
uttered from a different mouth
but one on the same final journey
...different tears escape
down the same cheeks
unable to hold themselves back...
Life feels like a sentence
...no chance for bail...
for breaks or breathers
no rewind button or pause
...always...
...constantly...
on play
I hate my...
I hate your...
I hate the constant fighting
I hate the mask that you make me wear
I hate that not even the cleanest tears will dissolve it
the spittle that errupts
from explosive, volcanic lips
settle on clenched fists
red, hot lava
words vehement
burning
cause so much destruction
I hate that I hate
for that is not
but...
I choose to use it
I choose to hate
I choose to wait for change
I choose to take each day for granted
...they flutter by so quickly
filled with empty hope
and mindless fears...
...time...
consumed by empty seconds
...ticking by...
leaking into hours
days
forever
watching winter leaves
float down on chilly air
for no reason
other than noticing time
from somewhere new
thoughts consumed by
...I want...
while idle actions fail to transform them
into glittering dreams
why is everything so hard
when I was never meant to be a miner?
why is life an uphill climb
when I am no mountaineer?
sometimes I wonder if I choose
to build these walls myself
to lay sturdy foundations of doubt
deep within the rocky ground of my being
confidently
word by word
thought by thought
a strong and mighty wall
begins to appear
around a steadily beating heart
a fortress strong and thick,
held fast with the mortar
mixed from others doubts
'Live each day like it`s your last'
I don`t want to die in battle
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
Others can see so clearly what escapes you.
Embrace life with all its complexity, sorrows and dreams,
Let the tears flow but don't build and re-inforce those walls.
And on a lighter note, I love your banner, which I forgot to tell you before.
Those wings are exotic and delicate but strong.
katyzzz
incredible writing, very moving and heartfelt...made me feel something deep inside and tears began to flow...
Beautfully written and perfectly executed...
A fantastically well written oiece...
Take care,
Nick
Mum's Word
I love reading your poems because with every one I read I learn a little bit about you.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Always Eighteen
Great poem!
Kalikapsychosis
I hear you lovely Ash I concur and agree. Where is paradise?
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us through written word.... [hugs]
Mis
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Not sure if we got the same meaning... I was trying to go for the turning point in a series of ideas that have been plaguing my mind over the years... and also more generalizing into how people take a look at life mixed with some of the things they have to deal with....
too much to go into without me confusing the issue - I don`t explain things very well
Thanks - glad you like the banner - I love dragonflies, did you see the little tear in this fellows right wing? WOnder what happened there....
ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
very much appreciated - your response was very touching and meant a great deal.
thanks Nick
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I hope it`s good things
I probably am too over-analytical for my good. SOmetimes people say things that really stick in my head, going around and around and around and leading to all sorts of things - kind of like when I heard this again.
Always good to see you Mrs M
hugs
ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Good to see you Brisbane buddy, thanks for coming by.
It is a dilemma isn`t it - I try so hard not to use the word hate, it is such a strong word with so much negativity... emotions are very confusing!
ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I think everyone is looking for a happy medium in a really crazy world.
With all that chaos how can a balance ever be achieved?
Thanks K
ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Thanks for reading - it`s good to have such great people to put up with my madness :0)
hugs
ash
I read this one in Vegas, but wanted to chew on it a while before commenting. It's a remarkable piece of writing...
This part reached out and grabbed me with both hands:
from an eye holding
treasured scrolls of memories
Brilliant.... and this:
consumed by empty seconds
...ticking by...
leaking into hours
You're singing my song....
when I was never meant to be a miner?
why is life an uphill climb
when I am no mountaineer?
Saying I relate is an under statement.
This is writing at its best.
W
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
~blush~ thank you what a wonderful comment. It`s good to have a fellow traveller down these roads.
You have picked the pieces that I liked too.
Life is very up and down isn`t it? Vicissitudes indeed. It helps when you have these days to sit down and let it flow out of your fingers onto the page... and even better when someone can make a connection. Thank you!
hugs, I hope all goes well for you in your latest journey.
ash