Wanted (2008)
January 11th 2009 03:19
The Details
Director: Timur Bekmambetov
Writer: Split across SEVEN WRITERS!! The three of whom wrote the screenplay are Michael Brandt, Derk Haas and Chris Morgan.
Starring: James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman, Angelina Jolie
The Opinion
For my third review I thought I should maybe talk about a movie that you should not see. Don’t waste your time on Wanted unless you want to know how to castrate a fascinating storyline and then try to hide this mutilation with ritzy special affects and big name actors. Perhaps one of the reasons for the storyline being so crap was that the filmmakers were so desperate to get it right that they hired too many writers who could not agree and so ended up with the Campbell’s chicken soup and microwaved sandwich bread when what they really ordered was the Homemade Coriander and Kumara Soup with Sour Cream and a side of Lightly Toasted Turkish Peasant Loaf. Man I feel like soup.
Maybe a summary would help, and I am not going to censor it because I don’t want to you see it. James McAvoy plays Wesley Gibson. Wesley is a weedy nerd who works in a call centre and is on medication because he has these massive rushes of adrenalin all the time. The opening section of the film is really funny, humorously cut together and there is the unexpected “pounding on the counter” sex scene but that’s where the positives end. Wesley is being followed and shot at, for a reason he later discovers, and Angelina Jolie turns up to perform some automotive acrobatics and to give Wesley a raging semi. Of course, Angelina’s characters name is “Fox”. She is part of this thing called “The Brotherhood” who is an association of assassins who take their cues from interpreting the weaving mistakes of a several-hundred-year-old loom. Morgan Freeman plays Sloan, who is the head of this ‘Brotherhood’. Wesley is told that if he can control his adrenalin attacks he can use them to effectively slow time down and perform really accurate assassinations. There is an assassin in the brotherhood that went rogue and apparently killed Wesley’s father – who was one of the heroes of the ‘Brotherhood’. Wesley is trained up to take out this rogue but ready for the frustratingly Star Wars-ish twist? The rogue IS Wesley’s father!! Shock horror, and he went rogue because the loom started to tell them to kill each other but Sloan lied and made them kill other people. So a couple of big fight scenes later, everyone except Wesley is dead and Wesley is now meant to be some super hottie saving the world. I believe that this random and poorly written synopsis is more entertaining than actually seeing the movie.
My three main issues with this film are, one) the storyline is so thin I could stick my finger through it, two) they have wasted the time and talent of the awesomeness of Morgan Freeman and three) they try to make James McAvoy do the “nerdy guy turns into a hottie” but it totally dies in the arse. The only time I have seen that actually work is in Stardust, with Charlie Cox.
The Verdict
Okay, I enjoyed the special effects, but I also discovered that without an effective storyline holding the whole thing together, it’s just a demo of what CG software can do. I’m tired of Angelina Jolie playing badass hot chicks with pistols for hands, and I am tired of awesome actors like Morgan Freeman doing dodgy shit when they could have put their talents to much better use. This movie is basically Jumper with a different cast. Really high profile actors play the bad guys, the story is weak and relies on concepts that really need to be better explained, and watching is like going to a high school reunion and looking at all the people going “oh man, I haven’t seen that guy in ages, what the hell was his name again – I need to get the hell out of here”. Don’t waste your valuable time and money, just go cut your toenails or something – I promise you that you will have spent your time more effectively, and would also have enjoyed it more.
Director: Timur Bekmambetov
Writer: Split across SEVEN WRITERS!! The three of whom wrote the screenplay are Michael Brandt, Derk Haas and Chris Morgan.
Starring: James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman, Angelina Jolie
The Opinion
For my third review I thought I should maybe talk about a movie that you should not see. Don’t waste your time on Wanted unless you want to know how to castrate a fascinating storyline and then try to hide this mutilation with ritzy special affects and big name actors. Perhaps one of the reasons for the storyline being so crap was that the filmmakers were so desperate to get it right that they hired too many writers who could not agree and so ended up with the Campbell’s chicken soup and microwaved sandwich bread when what they really ordered was the Homemade Coriander and Kumara Soup with Sour Cream and a side of Lightly Toasted Turkish Peasant Loaf. Man I feel like soup.
Maybe a summary would help, and I am not going to censor it because I don’t want to you see it. James McAvoy plays Wesley Gibson. Wesley is a weedy nerd who works in a call centre and is on medication because he has these massive rushes of adrenalin all the time. The opening section of the film is really funny, humorously cut together and there is the unexpected “pounding on the counter” sex scene but that’s where the positives end. Wesley is being followed and shot at, for a reason he later discovers, and Angelina Jolie turns up to perform some automotive acrobatics and to give Wesley a raging semi. Of course, Angelina’s characters name is “Fox”. She is part of this thing called “The Brotherhood” who is an association of assassins who take their cues from interpreting the weaving mistakes of a several-hundred-year-old loom. Morgan Freeman plays Sloan, who is the head of this ‘Brotherhood’. Wesley is told that if he can control his adrenalin attacks he can use them to effectively slow time down and perform really accurate assassinations. There is an assassin in the brotherhood that went rogue and apparently killed Wesley’s father – who was one of the heroes of the ‘Brotherhood’. Wesley is trained up to take out this rogue but ready for the frustratingly Star Wars-ish twist? The rogue IS Wesley’s father!! Shock horror, and he went rogue because the loom started to tell them to kill each other but Sloan lied and made them kill other people. So a couple of big fight scenes later, everyone except Wesley is dead and Wesley is now meant to be some super hottie saving the world. I believe that this random and poorly written synopsis is more entertaining than actually seeing the movie.
My three main issues with this film are, one) the storyline is so thin I could stick my finger through it, two) they have wasted the time and talent of the awesomeness of Morgan Freeman and three) they try to make James McAvoy do the “nerdy guy turns into a hottie” but it totally dies in the arse. The only time I have seen that actually work is in Stardust, with Charlie Cox.
The Verdict
Okay, I enjoyed the special effects, but I also discovered that without an effective storyline holding the whole thing together, it’s just a demo of what CG software can do. I’m tired of Angelina Jolie playing badass hot chicks with pistols for hands, and I am tired of awesome actors like Morgan Freeman doing dodgy shit when they could have put their talents to much better use. This movie is basically Jumper with a different cast. Really high profile actors play the bad guys, the story is weak and relies on concepts that really need to be better explained, and watching is like going to a high school reunion and looking at all the people going “oh man, I haven’t seen that guy in ages, what the hell was his name again – I need to get the hell out of here”. Don’t waste your valuable time and money, just go cut your toenails or something – I promise you that you will have spent your time more effectively, and would also have enjoyed it more.
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