Vanderhoofengoaten

North Van, CANADA


Joined May 6th 2009

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Profile - The Greybeard

May 21st 2009 20:06
This will be the first post exploring various types of office inhabitants and how they interact in your political process.

The office greybeard is the wily veteran in your office. He, or she, has been around forever and knows virtually everything and everyone in the business. These people tend to be very bright, very efficient and have a very high credibility level. Wanting to avoid the politics of leadership and the hassle of supervisory responsibilities they have zero ambition to move up the corporate ladder. Imagine them as the uncommissioned officers in the trenches of the office; they've survived by keeping their heads down and picking their battles carefully. These are the company people that do the heavy lifting; their experience, skill and efficiency make them valuable resources to their company and their bosses. For rookies they make the best mentors and trainers, and for employees trying to gain or maintain credibility they can be an invaluable source of respect. If a greybeard offers to show you the ropes take it and if a greybeard can give you props to the boss, even better.

For employees who don't want to review company policies or technical manuals the greybeard can give you instant and practical know-how. They'll know what part of the job is most critical and what is fluff and how to do things quickly and correctly. Although they present in the office as apolitical and conservative they often hold the unspoken stories of office dynamics and players. They'll know who gets things done, who is up the bosses' butt, and who slept with who after the Xmas party. They can act as a great bullshit meter as well; if you ever want to get a 2nd opinion on a direction from your boss, or a tip from a colleague, just run it by the greybeard for their thoughts.

Beware the greybeards who are past their due dates. Due to financial or HR reasons some veterans are kept past their prime and have entered the pre-retirement age of cynicism, burnout or defiance. The cynical greybeard may have been burned one too many times by the boss, or unhappy with changes in office technology or practice. The burnt out grey beard is overdue for a retirement cake - they might have lost their judgement and/or competance. The defiant greybeard knows the business too much for their own good - more than their boss, and they don't care about going rogue or going out with a bang before their last day on the job.

If your greybeard is on top of their game and is in good with your boss, then they are critical ally in your office, buy them a coffee once in awhile!
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Rule #2

May 21st 2009 18:17
Stay away from the obviously stupid, the lazy and the insane. It's my 'guilt by association' policy. Every office will have a few of the aforementioned - either HR doesn't catch them during hiring because they're hot, talk a great game or cheat their resume, or they're relatively normal on their hire date and they devolve into a poor employee with a credibility killing reputation.

Let's differentiate between the typically stupid, lazy and insane and the obviously stupid, lazy and insane. Most co-workers will have shades of the above - we're mostly human after all, but we all know the one co-worker that takes it to another level. It's one thing to Twitter during team meetings, but quite another to skip them altogether for a liquid lunch at the strip-bar. Upon entry into a new office environment it's best to do a quick 'cred check' - determine how much credibility each employee has with the people that matter. You'll be able to tell a low cred co-worker by the amount of eye-rolling they get when they go off on something, their association with project screw-ups, and the negative gossip behind their back. These are they people with one foot out the door - either they're the next to be down-sized, or their about to retire, or they've made it clear their switching careers. It's best to minimize contact with them, both professionally and personally - so no 'must see TV' recaps at your office door and definately don't seek their support for any of your work. Be nice, be polite, you can even share in the gossip if you like, but don't get attached. The overall goal is to enhance your own credibility and because you are who you hang with, low cred people will rub off on you. Of course the exception to this rule is if your boss, or any of the Alpha dogs, are obviously stupid, lazy and/or insane - then review rule #1. It's important to note that even the biggest screw-ups can have much credibility, based on their position, and must then be dealt with delicately. We'll cover this problem specifically in the future.
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Rule #1

May 14th 2009 20:27

For those of you that need some clear cut guidelines ASAP to save your skin, here's some basic rules for self-preservation in your office-kingdom:

1. Don't piss people off who could make your life difficult. This rule appears obvious to even the newest employee on probation, but the circle of people who hold sway over your position in the workplace is rarely clear, or small. If you have to question the sanity of angering your supervisor, manager and ED or CEO, then just pack up your Dilbert calendar and kitty-cat mug and go home now.

You should hold the same respect for anyone in accounting, AKA the bean-counting department. These people influence everything from payroll to department and project budgets and should not be messed with (lightly). We all like getting re-imbursed for our labour with digital numbers that move from the employees bank account to ours - the bean counters make this happen. You'd be surprised at how often and how easily beans can be lost between points A and B when bean-counters are angry, annoyed, or upset that their couple was eliminated from Dancing With The Stars. And because bean-counters are always holders of the magic new math you will never be able to count the beans properly yourself to remedy any transgression. The same goes for any key member of the administrative team. Why annoy anyone who can make your physical files disappear from the file room, 'mis-file' your project report, or refuse to screen angry clients? At the very least be on the good books with your support staff - any major rift between you and them will be career suicide; and definately don't make out with them and then promise to end things with your girlfriend, but then clarify that you didn't mean to imply this and then give them your expense report to format... Of course we cannot neglect IT. Always be in the good books of whomever does your networking, IT, technical and computer support. This could make the difference between watching streaming March Madness on your monitor (go gators!) and having your keystrokes recorded and sent to your manager for review.

Unless you're completely unskilled in your chosen field or have really really bad BO, following this basic rule should get you through probation period. In the future, for the more advanced readers, we'll look at moving from not pissing off key people, to how to be their new BFFs.
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Call to Order!

May 14th 2009 19:03
'Politics' - translated from a more ancient language means 'affairs of state' and now generally refers to social processes in, or between, political structures. So what does this have to do with you and your paper-shuffling, desk-riding, 9-5 grind? Plenty. If you don't think you work in a politicized workplace just poke your head into the hall (if your lucky enough to have your own office), or above your cubbie wall, and survey who has the best office space around. If there are corner offices with more square footage of glass than wall occupied by people with a C, E or O in their title (or 6 letters behind their name) then you're in a political state. If your workspace can be monitored visually by an office occupied by a man with a moustache and/or a short-sleeve dress shirt and tie then you're in a political state. If these circumstances don't apply to you, but you're getting paid to read this instead or reviewing your accounts or finishing your quarterly report and want to stick it to your asshole boss for denying your Xmas holiday, then you're probably in a political state, albeit a very negative one.

So, recognizing that our careers, or even McJobs, can often hinge on our interactions with the political masters, peers and peasants in our workplace states how do we successful manage these relationships to our own benefit? This blog is the starting point for this examination. From new grads and office newbies, to ladder-climbing sycophants and desk-jockeys just trying survive a downsize - I'm hoping to offer a bit of practical advice to survive and thrive the workplace. As career bureaucrat for both NGOs and government I've seen all sorts of office characters come and go and many office tragedies and comedies play themselves out


[ Click here to read more ]
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