Train Wreck First Dates! What's yours?
October 2nd 2007 09:37
Okay so this was something my girlfriends and I were discussing this past weekend over many bevvies and George Michael singing in the background.
I know, I know...how pathetic - but George Michael has some serious butt shaking songs- 'outside' is fanfuckingtastic.
Anyway I digress....
First date disasters...I'm sure we've all had a few.
I was sent on a blind date once with a guy who 'said' he was 6ft tall.
We were to meet at a bar, alfresco area, for a drink and chat. He seemed nice-ish on the phone and I did enjoy dating once upon a time...
So away I went.
Except he turned up and was a dwarf.
And no, I'm not being a bitch. He was a literal, honest-to-god dwarf.
So I was having a serious moral dilemma, whilst skulling alcohol to shut out the incessant screaming in my head...
Do I call him on his lie? And likely offend a little person?
Or do I just act like everything is normal...his head is not strangely in line with my bellybutton...and all is well???
After skulling 6 drinks (and yes, I counted) I interrupted his verbal barrage and spat out "Why did you tell me you were 6ft tall?"
Silence.
He actually had the damn nerve to look stunned.
"Would you have met me if I told you I was a dwarf"?
It was then my turn to look stunned.
Do I tell the truth? Or lie to save his feelings..???
Full of dutch courage I say "No. I wouldn't have. But whats worse than the fact that you felt it neccessary to lie to me, is the fact that you're sitting there like you never told the damn lie to begin with. I am 5'9 - I don't want to date a shorter man. But far worse than being short - is being a damn liar!"
As I gathered my things haphazardly to leave...he whispered "Can we just have sex then?"
OH MY GOD.
Seriously.
The one man who's ever EVER outrightly ASKED me for sex, and he's a dwarf!
A LYING DWARF!
I kicked him...in what I think was his knee....but it could have been his spleen.....
And I left.
Laughing.
Disaster!!!!!
Please share??? Whats your worst date story???
Jo
I know, I know...how pathetic - but George Michael has some serious butt shaking songs- 'outside' is fanfuckingtastic.
Anyway I digress....
First date disasters...I'm sure we've all had a few.
I was sent on a blind date once with a guy who 'said' he was 6ft tall.
We were to meet at a bar, alfresco area, for a drink and chat. He seemed nice-ish on the phone and I did enjoy dating once upon a time...
So away I went.
And no, I'm not being a bitch. He was a literal, honest-to-god dwarf.
So I was having a serious moral dilemma, whilst skulling alcohol to shut out the incessant screaming in my head...
Do I call him on his lie? And likely offend a little person?
Or do I just act like everything is normal...his head is not strangely in line with my bellybutton...and all is well???
After skulling 6 drinks (and yes, I counted) I interrupted his verbal barrage and spat out "Why did you tell me you were 6ft tall?"
Silence.
He actually had the damn nerve to look stunned.
"Would you have met me if I told you I was a dwarf"?
It was then my turn to look stunned.
Do I tell the truth? Or lie to save his feelings..???
Full of dutch courage I say "No. I wouldn't have. But whats worse than the fact that you felt it neccessary to lie to me, is the fact that you're sitting there like you never told the damn lie to begin with. I am 5'9 - I don't want to date a shorter man. But far worse than being short - is being a damn liar!"
As I gathered my things haphazardly to leave...he whispered "Can we just have sex then?"
OH MY GOD.
Seriously.
The one man who's ever EVER outrightly ASKED me for sex, and he's a dwarf!
A LYING DWARF!
I kicked him...in what I think was his knee....but it could have been his spleen.....
And I left.
Laughing.
Disaster!!!!!
Please share??? Whats your worst date story???
Jo
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