TRAIN ETIQUETTE
September 8th 2009 07:24
For any one that indulges themselves in a daily train or bus journey and can appreciate the pain and suffering one goes through on each trip I implore you to channel your energies and live the following with me:
- Snifflers: Tissues are readily available and should be used whenever you feel the need to inhale large amounts of snot and muscus through your nasal cavities into your throat. Honestly, do people not understand how utterly disgusting this sounds. Vile, vile human beings.
- BO: Deoderant, another thing that is readily available, certain species of human are particualr smelly, you all know what I am talking about, say it with me people, bathe, rinse, repeat if you must, then deoderant, anti-perspirant is a must!
-Seat Swapper : No seat is good enough, that one is too blue, that one is too fat, that one is next to a loser, that one looked at him funny, SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, at least you got a seat , most have to stand.
- YELLERS: "OH MAWWW GOD, SHE WAS SUCH A FUCKIN HOOOO MAN , LIKE TOTAL SLUT FACE OH MAWWW GOD" 15 year old girls, got on at auburn station last night, screaming this to one another all the way to central station. Die, honestly, just die.
- Eaters: Food on the train is fine, as long as its not curry, or parmesan cheese, or vegimite, really, you people must have no sense of smell. you must also die.
I am sure you can think of more, I am presently too engraged thinking of these foul human beings to continue to type.
God bless you all, NOT.
- Snifflers: Tissues are readily available and should be used whenever you feel the need to inhale large amounts of snot and muscus through your nasal cavities into your throat. Honestly, do people not understand how utterly disgusting this sounds. Vile, vile human beings.
- BO: Deoderant, another thing that is readily available, certain species of human are particualr smelly, you all know what I am talking about, say it with me people, bathe, rinse, repeat if you must, then deoderant, anti-perspirant is a must!
-Seat Swapper : No seat is good enough, that one is too blue, that one is too fat, that one is next to a loser, that one looked at him funny, SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, at least you got a seat , most have to stand.
- YELLERS: "OH MAWWW GOD, SHE WAS SUCH A FUCKIN HOOOO MAN , LIKE TOTAL SLUT FACE OH MAWWW GOD" 15 year old girls, got on at auburn station last night, screaming this to one another all the way to central station. Die, honestly, just die.
- Eaters: Food on the train is fine, as long as its not curry, or parmesan cheese, or vegimite, really, you people must have no sense of smell. you must also die.
I am sure you can think of more, I am presently too engraged thinking of these foul human beings to continue to type.
God bless you all, NOT.
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Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
- the people who've lost their license: they think it's cool to get caught driving at 240kph and funny to boast about it. By all means they should try and kill themselves, but why wrap yourself around an oncoming stoner and his packet of chips when there's perfectly good power poles made just for that.
And then there's me mate Buck Frain's contribution to the genre...calick...and what about the seat hoggers, and the inappropriate touchers, and the people who sit with their backs to their destination who insist on making eye contact with perfectly unsocial types like me...
Don't forget to validate your ticket and save a seat for me.
Comment by JESUS
What's love Scot to do, Scot to do with it?
As for those who sit with their backs to the destination, they are by far the most annoying people ever, and they do make ant-social types umcomfortable, If i ever see someone do it to one of you anti-socials I will sort them out for you.
I will save you a ticket for sure, but not validate it, we dont need to do that here in Syd haha
Comment by Someone
Evil Pleasures
Random Musings on Life, Love and Everything
Let's Get Down To Business
They started handing these out for free on the bus/train? I think not. I am very susceptible to the sniffles, especially when I stay out for long nights or at a friends house... I feel miserable enough with a head cold without self righteous douchebags giving me the death glare for not having tissues on hand.
Again, late nights, friends house, no dice. If you don't like the way someone next to you smells, just move seats.
Are probably moving for a reason. Getting away from other unlikable commuters comes to mind. At least they're moving somewhere better instead of having a big cry about it on their blogs.
Another one for the list: Assholes who are early/mid 20's, who won't give up their seats for people clearly over 60. I don't give a flying fuck if you aren't sitting in the handicap seats, you obviously don't need the seat as much as they do. Stand up, shut up, and stop being such a twat.
I also agree with Norm.... possibly the worst of the lot are the seat hoggers. I saw some stuck up bitch on a bus that was full to capacity, who refused to let anyone sit next to her because she had a couple of books on the seat next to her. Nothing on her lap, but her books needed a seat, even when the driver had to turn away passengers because there was no more standing room... Pretty sure about a dozen people were seriously contemplating murder, myself included.
Almost as annoying are the people who get angry at you for staring at them, even if you're just looking in their general direction. I was out of it on a train to work one night, staring off into space (at the roof) while listening to music. I have a lazy eye, and my lazy eye was looking at eye level. Some tard was convinced I was staring at him and tried to have a go at me... until he saw my work knife in my bag, then he was VERY nice to me.
Comment by JESUS
What's love Scot to do, Scot to do with it?
Tissues are very cheap, if you need one, just ask, I will give you as many as you need, perhaps one less drink the night before will help ruduce the sniffles and let you keep that extra 5 bucks in your pocket , you could by enough tissues to last months!
BO, I cannot belive that 1, you admit that you stick and 2. you do nothing about it, what kind of gross out are you? wtf
Seat swappers, are allowed to move to get away from others, but its about how you move, as in not bashing me with their fake hermes bag.
Assholes in their 20s who dont give up their seat is a good one, one day my nan caught the train with me as she stayed over my place, some 20 year old prik almost bowled her over to get to the seat first, i dont have to tell you what i said to him, but i wish death upon him, stupid piece of shit.
As for people getting angry for starring at you cause you have a lazy eye, that truly is fucked up, but perhaps, as you so eloquently suggest , you should use that big knife in your bag, that way there would be one less dickhead annoying both you and I on the train.
Or even just, as you also suggested, MOVE SEATS.
Comment by Kristin Wolgemuth
Poetry Lighthouse
What's in a word
Time to Get Up Club
Comment by JESUS
What's love Scot to do, Scot to do with it?
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Someone
Evil Pleasures
Random Musings on Life, Love and Everything
Let's Get Down To Business
Sure, buddy. I bet after a big night out (ie. Come home no earlier than 4am, still very drunk) you haven't sweated AT ALL. Especially not if you've been at a big club full of hot, sweaty dancing people. Oh and I bet you go to these clubs carrying a full change of clothes, deodorant, a towel to shower with, probably even soap and shampoo too, right?
I bet your shit smells like lollipops and cinnamon buns too, right?
No. There are times when you can't get access to deodorant, or have a shower, and in these cases I probably feel worse than you do for having to smell me. I personally think smokers smell like shit (as an ex-smoker, I would know), but I don't say they have to have a shower and brush their teeth after every cigarette.
Comment by Someone
Evil Pleasures
Random Musings on Life, Love and Everything
Let's Get Down To Business
Comment by JESUS
What's love Scot to do, Scot to do with it?
Thanks, It was too camp before, too bright, and lets face it, none of my bloggins are particularly chirpy, so it seemed a little out of place haha!
As for the header/white squiggles I am affraid you will have to ask the wonders of the internet, it is just an image I sources from a free bank of images connected to goole.
SOMEONE,
I am affraid I dont stay out till 4am sweating, then come home on the train, it is just not me scene, so perhaps I dont understand how BO can be justified, to that all I can say is thank god I dont have friends like you.
and your right, smokers do smell like shit, constantly and they also bother me on the train, should add them to the list.
Clearly your tissue / BO issues stem from excessive drinking and partying habits, which is so fine, I get it your cooler than me, for that I congratulate you. I remember guys like you , from high school.
That's all there is to say really
Comment by Someone
Evil Pleasures
Random Musings on Life, Love and Everything
Let's Get Down To Business
wtf? How did you get that from what I wrote? I never claimed to be cool; in fact, I have more respect for those who don't drink heavily than those who do.
Just take a step back, try not to be so condescending, and think about where I'm coming from. You have said people who have the sniffles are
Capisce?
By the way, drinking is just one possible justification. Played sports before? Showers aren't always available. How about ever been to a concert? Or do you not sweat even when surrounded by lots of sweaty people?
I'm not trying to be rude (although you don't seem to have a problem there), I'm just saying you can't say all these people are evil and deserve to die when there can be legitimate, unavoidable reasons for it.
Comment by JESUS
What's love Scot to do, Scot to do with it?
fair enough, but you continually try to justify people being disgusting and smelling awful, I simply dont understand why you would want to justify these sort of things, you have a myriad of examples where you have smelt bad for good reason, and I concur, they are great reasons, fact is, YOU STILL STINK.
and until you quit stinking up my train, I will continue to winge about your BO and your sniffling and your booze breath by the sounds of it!
and no, i definetly dont have a problem being rude, i apologise if I have offended you, but by the sounds of it you are a big boy, you can dish it out just as well