Train Crashes Into Elementary School - No Survivors.
October 25th 2007 02:43
Your Town - 8 a.m
Today a train collided with a local elementary school and killed everyone within a ten mile radius. It was just before 8 a.m when the train - hauling a hefty load of intelligence and progressive thought slammed head-long into the quiet little school and a bloody massacre ensued.
Senior correspondant Saruman the White was on scene within minutes to appraise the situation and gather the immediate details. While the cause of the train's tracks being built directly into the front door of the school was at first unknown, authorities suspect that it was an attempt to facilitate some kind of osmosis of knowledge.
It was an awakening of sorts. After realizing that the tracks led directly to the front door of the school. Locals considered alerting the police, however it seemed only right to allow the tracks to do as they please since in the United States being passive is not only polite, it's law! The tracks were later discovered to be made out of the spines of our culture's broken will and desire for progressive ideas.
In an interview with a mid-life crisis your integrity and dignity had this to say:
"So that's where my spine went? That's the last place I would have looked!"
At a recent Diversity Summit to discuss better ways to make our culture into a bunch of weak-willed cowards Ryu from Street Fighter 2 made a brief monologue that sounded a lot like "Hadoken" followed by sirens. He received a standing ovation.
Now I'll be the first to admit that we should be tolerant and understanding of people in this world. Why just the other day I was considering hazing a young child for wearing glasses. People who wear glasses enrage me because it's like they're trying to make their own eye-sight superior to mine by the use of technology. If they can have mega-ultra eye-sight then I should be able to breathe fire. End of story. However you'll be happy to know that I tolerated his visual augmentation and instead simply told him that his hopes and dreams would never come true.
The point being - our children need guidance and a foundation of dominance and arguementative passion that is rivaled only by the Gods themselves. If we aren't raising our children to be combat ready, riot-starters than I think we've all failed as parents for short-cutting our children in the race against world peace.
If you have a question or comment or a topic you'd like to see brutally assaulted and left bleeding in a gutter please drop me a line at: Cynicator@gmail.com
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Comment by Louie
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Comment by Optomistic Opportunism
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Optomystic Opportunism
Are you one of those killer medical doctors over there that seem to be keeping it underground right now?
btw that pic is not my town. Looks more like Perth.
Now comment on my site before i "blow your effing mind"....
Yours hopefully,
Opto
Comment by Brenton
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Or his drugs back?
Comment by Dexter
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He's just got one -- Global Insult.