Touche'
Favorite Links:
http://www.theoriesofthought.com
This theory, is about love. Its about love and its full essence in my opinion, and that alone, can be absorbed, discarded or left to speak on its own. But even though in many parts of this theory I will not bring up the word love, sometimes, the most important things need not to be said or seen. It is like that look you get from your parents when you were younger, that still shakes you to the core when you reflect back upon it. Nothing needed to be said when you got that look, when you were playing in your mashed potatoes, playing fork and or spoon hockey with you veggies or slurping on your water or soda, a little bit too much for no freakin reason. That look from your moral superior where you know it, and if you go beyond the next step you are about to take down that wrong path and road to destruction, you knew to venture any further, later on would come sooner than later when you knew what you were going to get when your faced with your time of judgement and lessons on life. And that moment, is all bad, and even if you do not understand why you are about to feel the force of nature on your backside, you knew you had to go through this. So as this is about love, it can also be about loyalty, or how repetitive we all are, when we think about it. Now I am very systematic. I mean I do a lot of the same things, and do not think I do them out of comfort, but more so because this has seemed to work for me, and I am somewhat comfortable with where I am at in my life, and know, I would not be happy from what I have seen, if I steered too far off of my course or path in life. Some, well many, have paid me a lot of money to hear my version on my climb to success, my story on making it and more, and I tell you like I have always told them, "What worked for me, worked for me at that time and under those circumstances. If it will work for you or anyone else is beyond me because I do not know you or what you are willing to do or do not do, when faced with this choice within and or without approval in your control". You see where I am willing to go and what I am willing to do and do not do, is off of the charts. I am this loyal sick motherfucker that to be very truthful, might be a few bricks short of a pile. I may be this way out of focus, ignorance, experience or what have you. But for what I believe in, there is no limit to where I will set up shop at, to get what I want. And do not get it twisted or tangled, this also goes for where I do not wanna go. What I will do to protect myself from myself and others, is off of tha charts also. Now, what someone else may think is crazy and another a great idea, is a very fine line. Who will cross it, the line I am talking about, who will stay behind it or draw their own, is them, I cant and do not care to control it. Some things work for some and some do not for many others, but in my opinion, when you stay true to self, you can count on you being you, when faced into becoming someone or something else. So to further explain, here is a brief example on what happened to me the other day that somewhat, spawned this theory;
The other day while diving down the street, something really strange happened to me. As I came to a stop sign at this intersection, this motorcycle cop that I sub-consciencely see each and every morning, waved at me. Now I instantly waved back, instantly feeling guilty for no reason, wondering if I had done something wrong or was about to be pulled over for, Driving While Being Black or just because. So after waving, putting my hand back down and readjusting in my heated seat, I went up a bit after crossing this intersection fully and out of sight, and maybe thought, I had left my coffee on the roof in my drop top convertible, but then realized, my top was down and I was trippin a bit harder than I thought. Yeah, I was rattled and did not know it, even though I know, I have done nothing wrong, I think, did I?. So being like I am, I circled the block, and pulled right behind him, a few care lengths back. Now as I seen him look in his side view mirror, he looked down, back up and went right back, waiting for people to run this sign so he could give them a ticket. Now without me knowing it but feeling it, he was not threatened or showed any signs on being worried who is coming up behind him. As I approached him, he said, "Hello Mr. Gere, how is your day today and how can I help you". Okay, now I am freaked out. Tripping on how does this man know my name, who is he to me and have I forgotten someone I have never met before? And right as I was about to speak, I hear him say, "I see you every morning at Starbucks and your name is on your license plate, thats how I know who you are". Okay, now while exhaling and feeling like total tool, I smiled and said "oh yeah, I know, whattup officer". He then smirked and said, "How can I help you?" I replied, "Nothing, I think. I just seen you wave and did not know if I was being flagged, waved or summoned and came over to double check on something I have no clue about". He then smirks again, but this time with a giggle and arrogant chuckle, and I could tell his eyes were laughing at me in this uncomfortable moment, behind these typical cheap bug reflecting mirror glasses you see at truck stops on the interstate. And then I heard this little voice inside of me say, " if he wanted to stop me, he would have gotten behind me and flashed those bright ass lights we all hate to see, so get your never let em see ya sweat face back on". So if nothing else, I just told on myself if I was guilty in my actions, or in another way, was more aware of myself than I knew in other ways. But he then said to me, " I do that to many of the regulars that come through here during the day on my shifts, and hope you do not mind, I am just being me and know for the most part, you do not see me doing it". I nodded and said "of course not", shook my head at amusement from myself in his glasses and now I am wondering, how many times have I not seen him wave, and who else does he do this to and how many others, do this to me and me to them beyond this crosswalk?
So what I am getting at is this; how many times during the day, do you think others think about us, and how many times out of comfort or something unforeseen by you because you cant even see it, does it or does not it happen? Did that make any sense to you? I hope so, and if not, look at it this way. I wrote in one of my earlier theories on lovemaking and the art of it, in my opinion, how when not knowing my version of love and lovemaking, how a person being available and also occupied somewhere else that they are not at, may be the difference on lust or love. Where you may be physically engaged into someone at a certain moment, and your mind is somewhere else, with someone or something else being your real lover in another relationship you are obviously involved with, at that time or not. Where you are singly multi tasking, and not completely engulfed in the moments you are intertwined in. I read this quote where this woman said, "Some people fake a relationship to get a nut, and some fake nuts to get a relationship". That was a great twist on words, and as much as it is funny, it is true. But do not you think on many levels, we all do this at least a little bit and feel it is necessary to get through our day? Now I may be a lone ranger on this one, but I think the vast majority of the world, can not afford to isolate every moment without having the others around them fall apart. Now I am not saying it is not possible, but from what I have witnessed, we all give a bit to get a bit more, even when we may or may not deserve it. So how all of this ties in with my stop sign event, is that in many ways, I think those we love, do not realize fully, why we love them. I mean what a person is willing to change, compromise and stay true to, may seem crazy to someone one else, but makes complete sense to the person you are in love with. I mean yeah, we can try to explain it, tell them and or even show them in ways we are or think we are able to, but for them to really know how deep your love goes for them when engulfed in this thing called love, is dam near impossible. So if you believe that or not, what do you do when faced with it. I say look at it. Respect it, absorb it and let everything around you know, you know its there, but for you to give it any time or energy you have, you need to love this love thing right now, to make sure, we are around later on when we may not love each there for whatever reason. If they can or can not understand that, you smile, smirk and say, "Touche, because you respect, how they feel about what is important to them. Cause like I said in the beginning, "What worked for me, worked for me at that time and under those circumstances. If it will work for you or anyone else is beyond me because I do not know you or what you are willing to do or do not do, when faced with this choice within and or without approval in your control". So if I can not love you the way I know, how can I do it in a way you cant understand? And I am not saying you say its either this way or that way, but explain to me, how can I better explain it to you? Thats the type of love I love feeling. Not the regular one where you just say it, but that one, you can feel when nothing more needs to be said. Like that look your parents gave you back in tha day that makes sense right now. Not your version, but the version you know, was shown out of love. Touche I say mom and dad. Thanks and Touche
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Now what I have learned in my many year s of uselessly shopping, is that I am a "Thrifter". For those that are new to this title, that means a person that frequents garage sales, Goodwills and thrift stores to find a bargain. Many people think stores like this are only for the poor, and even though I am far from that in a financial sense, I like to go there to just get "stuff". Before I got turned on to them, I thought they were for the needy and you could not catch me in there for nothing. But after my grandmothers passed, she told me before that life changing moment that it would be good for me to work in a place like this. So I did for six months, to honor her wishes. Well I volunteered there, and let me tell you, some of the shit people give away, like love, is crazy. Then I start thinking about what I donate when I do, and then it clicked, this is a gold mine and a trip. I mean think about it, people give you shit for free at this store, you sell it and do the same thing, day and night. Great concept, but getting back to the theory, I am a Thrifter and love it. I think in a way, I may be minimizing a sickness so I can heal myself from the perils of the world. I mean, I have a sickness, and its called shopping. Thats the only vice I think that is out of control in my life, and if it is one, I think by going to a place to purchase things at a lower price, makes me feel better about doing it. I am not saying its true, but hey, it is definitely something to consider. So anyway, while visiting this one place I like to go after I leave Starbucks in the morning, yeah, the one the cops waved at me at, is this one place where you can really find great stuff. I mean besides clothes, I like weird shit in my house. Like a funny looking wood carving or maybe a quesadilla maker that Lord knows, I will never use but looks great next to my milk shake blender (I am Lactose Intolerant), my rice cooker, fajita grill and ice shaver. I got many more, but I think you get the picture. For me, these are things I would never invest in when I am at a large or swank department store, but hey, after seeing it somewhere else for a better price, it seems like a bargain and a need to cure this sickness I may or may not have. But yeah, once or twice a year when I am cleaning my house, I end up donating it to a place to make myself feel like I am giving back, and someone else, does the same thing. Kinda like this theory. I am writing it because I can understand where I was just at, and though it was great for me at that moment, what I know now, is beyond so I can afford to recycle it. So yeah, its a cool way to recycle, as I think we all do, with love and the balance to keep everything else in our world, spinning at a pace we feel we can handle. So is that second hand love I may get at Thrift Town, any better than the one I may get at a more larger store? I mean think about it, what makes the love I left, different than the one I think I may need or needed in that time of my life? Thats the question about love that trips me out. I mean yeah, I trip and I think about love the way I do now, but man, if this is how I feel about it now and I can not even understand it fully, what is it going to feel like, when I deeply commit to it without all of the other shit I have now learned, is not good for me? Man, thats some shit. Thats the shit I want to feel. Where you know you are emotionally involved, but you cant even cry, because all of the juices you have to cry, are flowing in other areas. Not that what I am feeling right now is all bad, hell, its great. But man, can you imagine some shit like that? Thats that crazy off of tha chain type of passion, that man, it do not even matter who understands or not, you do, and thats all that matters. So love my friends. I mean not like I say or define, but in a way you know you have within you, if just for one isolated moment. And if you hear people whispering, silent scream to whomever may be listening, "all the shit you hear about be from those you hear it from, is true. The problem and more important question you need to ask yourself is, who are the people that are telling you this shit, are they telling the truth or lie, because you need to decide and do not let them sway you with their words, only their opinion. Judge it for yourself. Hear what they are saying, but understand, you are not them. Love yourself enough to accept love the way you feel, you deserve to. Think about it, there is a lot of stuff that is going to happen, and hate is going to be there and we all know that. So for one moment or situation, give your all and tell me about the feeling in ways you feel comfortable doing that I do not need to understand. Do it for you. Do not do it for or to me, do it for you. Take that moment and love. And the last quote I wanna leave you with is; "If you can't be a good example, you are most definitely a horrible warning to whomever is paying attention. And put down the excuses and pick up a purpose". Love my friends. Touche and Enjoy The Moment. Thanks mom and dad, I love being a father and all that come with it, good and bad. It's the best feeling and if you got this far my viewer, think whatever you do, good for you, this aint about me. This moment right now, is about my love and if you do not feel me, you just do or do not. This moment is a moment I at least hope, everyone feels, if just for one moment. This moment is pretty much hard to beat because all of the things I thought I loved, abused, did wrong and it did the same to me, was well worth it. This feeling comes with no praise or guilt or regrets, it does not even need to be said. This is the culmination of many things that I could and could not control, and can only hope you as a person, at least try to feel this. Do what you can. I mean do not kill yourself, but then again, I could see why you at least died trying if you did, because this shit here, is worth it. And thanks Amel, tha track Glitches is on smash!! The Cop on The Bike was even groovin to it. But Rapael's track Skyy is on a completely different level from anything I have ever heard. Touche and Enjoy The Moment -
