Toomer's Trees
February 18th 2011 17:17
In an act that transcends stupidity and sets a new low for boorish behavior, a wild Alabama fan, furious with Auburn for beating Alabama, winning the national title and I suppose just being there, decided to poison the famous oak trees in Toomer's Corner. Because, you know, poisoning a tree is going to make it all better.
Here is a chance for an Alabama (state, that is) judge to make an impact with a ruling. Let's assume that Mr. Idiot is found guilty. I think that he should be made to serve ten years of community service. That's right, ten years. First, any season tickets he may have for Alabama will be rescinded forever. Next, every Saturday for the next ten years that Alabama is playing a football game he will be required to be on the Auburn campus, tending to the oak trees that he poisoned. Furthermore, he will have to wear a placard saying "I killed Toomer's Trees" and must maintain absolute silence while being harrassed by Auburn students. Finally, he should be forced to make a donation in his name to Auburn every year that he is on probation for an amount not less than $1,000. Putting this pie-hole jag-off into jail won't do any good. But humiliating him by forcing him to work for the school he loathes? Now that's a punishment suitable for this crime.
Short of that, he should have to do an hour of "beat your buddy bloody" or Oklahoma drills with the entire Auburn football team. Let the students of Auburn literally kick the snot out of the old, fat bastard. If he has a heart attack and dies, well, just take him to his trees and bury his ass there. It's not like the ground can't be poisoned anymore.
I hate people. I really do.
PS - I'm a graduate of Penn State. So I don't have a dog in this fight. But I'd dearly love to see a punishment that fits the crime here. I really, really would.
Here is a chance for an Alabama (state, that is) judge to make an impact with a ruling. Let's assume that Mr. Idiot is found guilty. I think that he should be made to serve ten years of community service. That's right, ten years. First, any season tickets he may have for Alabama will be rescinded forever. Next, every Saturday for the next ten years that Alabama is playing a football game he will be required to be on the Auburn campus, tending to the oak trees that he poisoned. Furthermore, he will have to wear a placard saying "I killed Toomer's Trees" and must maintain absolute silence while being harrassed by Auburn students. Finally, he should be forced to make a donation in his name to Auburn every year that he is on probation for an amount not less than $1,000. Putting this pie-hole jag-off into jail won't do any good. But humiliating him by forcing him to work for the school he loathes? Now that's a punishment suitable for this crime.
Short of that, he should have to do an hour of "beat your buddy bloody" or Oklahoma drills with the entire Auburn football team. Let the students of Auburn literally kick the snot out of the old, fat bastard. If he has a heart attack and dies, well, just take him to his trees and bury his ass there. It's not like the ground can't be poisoned anymore.
I hate people. I really do.
PS - I'm a graduate of Penn State. So I don't have a dog in this fight. But I'd dearly love to see a punishment that fits the crime here. I really, really would.
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