To the one that got away...
Wow, it's been what? Five, 6 years? It's been a long time since we ended our special relationship. It didn't end too well. I didn't know whether i should move on or not. I was unsure of what should happen next.
What we had was something I cherished and still do up to this moment. Nobody could have understood our relationship. Almost a year into our "affair" yet nobody knew we were together. Sure we weren't together physically, but we spent more time talking than most couples do. We were there for each other during the most important times and we've shared so much with each other without having to be physically together.
Then it had to end. I wake up one sunday morning. Turn on my computer, wait impatiently as it connects, then i see the most important words aside from "Ga is calling" -- You have Mail.
I see your name after more than a week of no communication and I hastily click on it to read what you have to say. Yet that split seconds while clicking on your name to read your mail felt like forever. Until now I cannot forget the numbness slowly working from my eyes down to my feet. I had to read it over and over and over until the words sunk in.
Awestruck. I didn't know how I should feel, what I should think. I didn't know what exactly it meant. Was it over? Were you telling me this so I can decide if I still want to go on? I didn't know. When I tried reaching you through all possible channels, I couldn't. Weeks I'd go online logging in everywhere I know and wish I could catch you, yet nothing.
It ended after weeks of uncertainty. I ended it with myself. Told myself if I keep holding on with no answer from you, I won't be able to be who I am anymore. I won't be able to move on with my life.
I still miss you Josh. I still wish we can talk .... one last time to settle everything. I know you meant well because for some reason, a year later you were able to contact me 2 hours before you were to say I DO to someone else. I told you about my husband (then boyfriend) and you were happy for me as much as i was happy for you. Months later I find out from your cousin you didn't push through with the wedding. Again, I didn't know exactly why.
I still want answers, I want to talk to you. You know just how much I loved you, and you know I still do. It's very unlikely you will chance upon this or even know this is me, but just like the last email I sent you, I love you and I only wish the best for you.
The only reason my life right now is not bitter is because of the man I initially thought I was cheating withon you (when I was unsure what and where we were) and the little boy that hugs me every single night before I go to sleep and tells me "I love you mommy. goodnight."
What we had was something I cherished and still do up to this moment. Nobody could have understood our relationship. Almost a year into our "affair" yet nobody knew we were together. Sure we weren't together physically, but we spent more time talking than most couples do. We were there for each other during the most important times and we've shared so much with each other without having to be physically together.
Then it had to end. I wake up one sunday morning. Turn on my computer, wait impatiently as it connects, then i see the most important words aside from "Ga is calling" -- You have Mail.
I see your name after more than a week of no communication and I hastily click on it to read what you have to say. Yet that split seconds while clicking on your name to read your mail felt like forever. Until now I cannot forget the numbness slowly working from my eyes down to my feet. I had to read it over and over and over until the words sunk in.
Awestruck. I didn't know how I should feel, what I should think. I didn't know what exactly it meant. Was it over? Were you telling me this so I can decide if I still want to go on? I didn't know. When I tried reaching you through all possible channels, I couldn't. Weeks I'd go online logging in everywhere I know and wish I could catch you, yet nothing.
It ended after weeks of uncertainty. I ended it with myself. Told myself if I keep holding on with no answer from you, I won't be able to be who I am anymore. I won't be able to move on with my life.
I still miss you Josh. I still wish we can talk .... one last time to settle everything. I know you meant well because for some reason, a year later you were able to contact me 2 hours before you were to say I DO to someone else. I told you about my husband (then boyfriend) and you were happy for me as much as i was happy for you. Months later I find out from your cousin you didn't push through with the wedding. Again, I didn't know exactly why.
I still want answers, I want to talk to you. You know just how much I loved you, and you know I still do. It's very unlikely you will chance upon this or even know this is me, but just like the last email I sent you, I love you and I only wish the best for you.
The only reason my life right now is not bitter is because of the man I initially thought I was cheating withon you (when I was unsure what and where we were) and the little boy that hugs me every single night before I go to sleep and tells me "I love you mommy. goodnight."
People
Diet Food Lifestyle
CHEATERS
1 For The Road
I hope you find your answers.
Working Title
Cirrus Cloud
Movie Dime
Parent Adventures
What's Your Story?
Big Day Plunge