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My whole body wept today
It ached
My world was dying
It nearly overflowed from me
Every breath fed it
Made it stronger
I managed to swallow it down
To compress it
Tried to make it so small it would disappear
And It did
For now I am stone
Unyielding
Unforgiving
Stone
To change me
Is to be harder and sharper
To chip and chisel with no reprieve
In the end if you do succeed
Will I turn out to be what you need?
I will always be stone
Just a different shape
While our forefathers and mothers weep
We sleep that mindless sleep
We’ll keep digging till the digging’s complete
Until then we’ll sleep that mindless sleep
They are counting down the days
As we continue our childish ways
Reflecting their distain
As we revel in our golden age
Glory, glory to these days
Glory to this selfish world
Glory to our selfish ways
And in our sleep we won’t be phased
No wisdom for the dismantled and dased
We shant be true for truth is pure
We can’t be purged if wholly manure
The stench of our conviction
To serve the great system
Leaves us mindless to sleep
And contemplate our mission
Only complete when it all crumbles
While we sleep that mindless sleep
The sky is falling and I can’t breathe,
You tell me it isn’t but I can’t ignore what I see
I feel it coming down and closing around me,
It is terrifying and you can’t help you can’t hold up the heavens,
You can’t breathe for me
I am trapped it is so hard to hold the world at bay
But I have no other choice this won’t just fade away
Or get better like all those people keep saying
They don’t know they can’t see it they just say what they think there supposed to say
And it does not help I can’t breathe words don’t change that
And when they say they are so matter of fact like I can flick the switch
‘oh your just having a bad day’
I’m stronger than all you bastards lets see you hold the sky for so long
But is it worth it, the struggle and pain of holding on
I get tired like everyone else
And all I want is a holiday
Your text goes here
Life is full of defecation, deceit and mass orgies of altruistic violence
An all in mass brawl for just one moment’s silence
We take different paths to seek our own demons, fall down the hole
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I've been practicing my braveface lately
i do it by eating lemons and trying not to let it show
it's hard but i know i need to do it
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ord file 2020……………….
Mr fuckpants lost jessys game bout to get whcked.s. anywyas this writing bullshit is cutting into nmy facebook time. Bastards really do exist……. Not like the vampires or anything else, actually children out of wedlock---strange word. And im in a strange mood but I figured hey tim you lazy fuck wad you need to start writing otherwise your life will have nothing electronically stored to show except photos--- true story motherfucker. Rumrum rum I like sex in the bum bumb bumbum. Yes really…… And no I cant say anything intelligent without either coming across pretentious or just plain stupid so I wont try. People in my experience either expect way too much or way too little of me and I don’t know which iprefer. What would you???? And after all these years and all my theories I still am no more sure about anything. Questions questions damned questions always fucking questions. Always trying to learn,,, always felling like im getting dumber by the day……..and my pretentions keep growing my need for grandiose fantasies evolve like evolution. Yeah that’s right evolution. That’s the buzz word that’s everything in a nut shell………… everything!!!!!!! Don’t think about it just live it and believe it follow the path.. yes that’s right evolve… accept change let it change you become stronger live develop…… be free fluid like a poplar in the wind…. Know your roots but accept change as the dominant force in life……… amen. And some other men also like finishing the days non sensical writing mid sentence. Even the non religious know that God plays games, maybe he’s seeing weather we can work out the puzzle maybe its nothing all I know is that somewhere deep inside everyone of us he instilled ( btw ladies the he thing is an convention and nothing more, for he is not any entity that any word backed by any conception of semantic value can accurately give meaning to. ‘He’ exisits outside our sphere which sadly includes all forms of human language and understanding.—and yet in some insignificant way we can come to know him which in turn can or maybe should be the most significant aspect of our own existence. WE NEED HIM!!!!!!!) the desire, --- no the need to be someone, something important. Our assessment of value is deeply entrenched in that. Look what happens when our own heirachy ( a sadly nessesary one) systematically takes apart ones value (ones desire to be valued)—columbine etc. People, most likely good people or at least with the same capacity for good and evil as we have decide that the only way they can recoup even the smallest portion of their value is to take away others, in the way that our own (nessesary!!) heirachy has done to them. Now im not saying that the bullies who drove these people to these things were behaving well but their behaviour just like these sad gunmen can be easily explained within our real social lexicon, not the code of behaviour that everyone can see through. Most people will cheat to get ahead if they can get away with it. After all life is a game of numbers--- of odds everyone plays the odds with one goal to try and live up to this need for value that this one cruel God has instilled in us knowing well that now there are far too many of us for everyone to have a slice of cake, some will, actually many many will die in the fight for the crumbs when they realize that the cake is gone. And I now have to live with the knowledge that I have to develop my own complex strategy to gain just a few crumbs, now I have a child on the way and a wife I have no choice but to prepare for the fight- to the death. And yes I will be willing to die for them to live willing to kill, whatever it takes. And some people (normally those safe in their fortresses eating a tasty slice) say they cannot understand these ‘bad men’ those that stole those that killed. This is our societies problem- most societies problem. The situations the worlds we get into are nearly always of our quest our need for value and our absolute need to protect and provide for our families. There is no absolute right or wrong in this world and I would speculate to say that there is no absolute anything. Einstein came up with more than a new way to look at space time and light, relativity applies to everything. Relativity and evolution are the two most important concepts to humanity. This world is too great for any one human to reconcile everything and yet our language—all language fails in some aspect when trying to combine all our efforts. I fear no fear is the wrong word I know that humans will not transcend our own bodies on masse. That is we cannot deny our own bodies our own biology the apparent key to our existence. And yet we have a taste ablissfull moment of enlightenment of truth before we realize that what stops us from floating away from finding our true utopia is that dreaded teather our own needs our own dreaded bodies. I cant think consistently or write consistently I hate reading im a terrible speller. But I get what I convince my self to believe to be magnificent, glorious insights into everything but not the genuine capacity to communicate it. Those fleeting moments encompass my value this being my feeble attempt to secure it. My curse as I suspect many others in the world is to be critically aware of my own impotence. This makes my path toward God a difficult one, for I am not predisposed to believing whole heartedly in anything let alone some force that governs my own existence for does that not diminish my personal value the one instilled by the very same force. We are meant to believe in God and not truly understand him and yet he ahs gifted me with questions, endless questions. Did I mention that I am not religious it’s a usefull way of enforcing a moral code,, a nessesary aspect of human evolution. And still there is this question of value. Oh well as the French say cest la vie
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