Andy McCutcheonThree Times Lucky For Lauren
July 5th 2007 02:14
Chapter 2
Three Times Lucky For Lauren
I was never so glad to be back on familiar soil and in the weeks that followed my eventful trip to Africa, I had lost touch with both Francine and Sheikh Ahmed’s dealings.
Life was moving forward and I was in the midst of preparing for the high profile wedding of Hollywood “heartthrob” Lauren Holly, who had previously wed both Danny Quinn and Hollywood “funny man” Jim Carrey.
Lauren was looking to make “three times a charm” in her proposed marriage to Francis Greco. “Frank” as he preferred to be called was a native Torontonian of Italian ethnicity who worked on Wall Street in New York as a business banker.
Toronto was chosen as the venue, in part, to allow the couple anonymity from the “Paparazzi”- or so they imagined! I had visited the Holy Rosary Church the day before the ceremony and even then, photographers and autograph seekers were beginning to camp out in anticipation. In an effort to mitigate unwanted annoyances, I was able to limit the “Paparazzi” to an area across the street.
Actress Amanda Peat performed the duties of Matron of Honour and travelled with Lauren on the only leg of the journey that I wasn’t present – from the hotel to the church. The wedding was scheduled to start at 2:00pm but I had been in contact with Lauren from the time she left her hotel room. Lauren wanted to walk through the front doors of the church, as any bride would - in the event that the media became a problem I had a contingency plan in place.
I stood on the steps of the church making one final scan just prior to Lauren’s arrival. As I made my way down the steps toward the street, photographers readied themselves.
The grey stretch limousine was less than 250m away and as it rolled to a stop, I placed my right hand firmly on the rear door handle. I opened the door; Lauren was right there.
She looked up at me and smiled. She was glowing – she looked beautiful. As she stepped out, she reached for my arm and climbed the stairs to the front door. At the top of the stairs she paused, turned and waved, giving the “Paparazzi” their “money shot.”
Once inside, Lauren and I sat in a room off to the side of the church, while guests assembled.
‘Are you nervous?’ I asked her.
She smiled. ‘Yeah a little – are you?’
‘Nah I think I’ll be alright.’ I replied.
‘You’re coming to the reception right?’ She asked.
‘Of course – I have my invitation right here... somewhere?’ I said as I patted my tuxedo and smiled.
She giggled… ‘You’re making me laugh.’ ‘It’s going to be fun.’ She continued… ‘I’m glad you can make it.’
‘I wouldn’t have missed it for the world’ - I was interrupted by a knock at the door.
‘Two minutes Lauren.’ It was her Hollywood stylist Phillip.
‘Ok, I’m ready.’ She replied.
‘Well Lauren, I guess this is it?’
‘Yeah, let’s go!’ She urged.
I walked her to the threshold of the red carpet and then slipped away into the lower gallery, where my associate Shawn Cooper met me.
Shawn assisted me on many assignments and we worked well as a team. Many of my female clients anonymously referred to him as “Ken Doll.” He had enviable good looks and a “Hollywood” smile, but under the obvious bravado, he was actually a bit shy around women.
As Shawn and I prepared to sit down our attentions were drawn to a homeless woman who had somehow found her way inside. She looked harmless, but was mumbling and becoming louder. In an attempt to stave off disaster, I had sent Shawn over to see if he could employ his boyish charm to entice her from her seat. He sat beside her and somehow convinced her to follow him. As a reward, we offered her a cigarette we had “bummed” from one of the limo drivers. In the time it had taken us to return, the service had nearly concluded and I called the drivers.
Immediately following the service, Lauren and Frank seemed content to mill around and greet their guests. As they waited, the “Paparazzi” became increasingly impatient for photo opportunities and I made the decision it was time to leave.
“Vaughan Estates” where the reception was being held, was both exclusive and secluded. With gated security, “Paparazzi” intrusion seemed unlikely.
I was the first out of the vehicle and helped Lauren out of the car.
She adjusted herself. She was wearing a “cross” necklace and two matching “earrings” that had previously been worn by “Madonna,” made entirely from 5 carat diamonds and valued at over USD$5,000,000.00. While I watched Lauren – the insurance company had sent someone from New York to specifically watch over the diamonds.
Once dinner had concluded, I had an opportunity to meet Lauren and Frank’s family and guests. I made a point of talking to Laurens Matron of Honour, actress Amanda Peat, whose due diligence had recently landed her several major roles.
In the time I took mingling, the bar tab had been accumulating for some time.
While I hadn’t been watching Lauren’s alcohol consumption explicitly, it was obvious that she hadn’t either. When I caught up with her, she had gathered up her wedding dress and was dancing like “Cyndi Lauper” to the song, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” Her head gyrated from side to side and as it did, I waited, for the moment when $5,000,000.00 worth of 5 carat diamonds would be seen bouncing across the dance floor like children’s marbles –and the insurance minder having to chase after them.
As the night wore on and guest numbers dwindled, things started winding down. Lauren and Frank were preparing to leave and I walked them both out to the limousine. Frank spent a few moments thanking me and collecting my contact details, while Lauren loaded gifts into the back seat. When Lauren re-emerged she stepped around the open door and walked towards me.
At 5’8” she didn’t have to reach very far to give me an appreciative kiss. In 1995 Lauren had won an MTV award for “Best Kiss” in the movie “Dumb and Dumber” and now I understood why. It was a magical. ‘I just kissed Lauren Holly.’ I thought to myself excitedly.
‘Thank you so much for everything Andy, you were great!’ She whispered. ‘You made our day really special.’
‘You didn’t do too badly either!’ I remarked, nodding in approval of her new man.
She kissed me again and said, ‘You’ll stay in touch won’t you?’
‘Sure.’ I remarked. ‘I’ll look you “kids” up the next time I’m in New York.’
I laughed.
‘You had better come and say hi.’ She said, pointing her finger onerously.
One week after the wedding, my phone rang as I was driving - it was my secretary Diana.
‘Are you near a grocery store?’ She asked excitedly.
‘Why - do you need milk and bread?’ I laughed.
‘No.’ ‘I mean, have you seen this week’s copy of the “National Enquirer,”’ she said (referring to the American tabloid newspaper).
‘No I haven’t.’ Why?’
‘If you haven’t’ she continued… you are going to want a copy.’
‘Why, what’s going on?’ I persisted.
She finally relinquished the truth. ‘You and Lauren Holly are “all over” the inside of the paper.’
‘What?’ ‘You’re joking!’ I responded in disbelief.
I pulled into the nearest grocery store and sure enough there it was – the “money shot!”
The expose consisted of two inset photos, one showcasing Lauren and her first husband Danny and another with Lauren and her second husband Jim Carrey. The largest photo however, taken when Lauren paused and waved from the top of the church steps, was clearly of her holding my arm, smiling and waving. The bold caption read, “Three Times Lucky for Lauren,” (implying I was the lucky man).
As I resumed driving, I couldn’t help but thinking…
‘How did I get here?’ - I mean, ‘how did I come into this extraordinary existence?’ ‘What chain of events has led me to this obscure calling?
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