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Thoughts of a dark soul

March 2nd 2012 02:51
YO,
So here I sit thinking to myself mostly and trying to stay as sain as I can even with the whole dam world on my back lol... I know a lil dramatic there but it does feel like it and since this is a rant/blog I figure I’m allowed a little literary fun ^_^
I believe thinking is my problem I just do too dam much of it for my own good.
I need to get back to writing at least when I did that I didn’t stress so much as I do now... Bills, Canada, Food, house... FUCK.... SEX... mmmmmmmm now shit um... ok so anyway depression is not as back as it used to be so I’m glad about that... seems a little more manageable when I write my feelings down *Fucking want to kill you* O.o sorry about that.... slipped out...

so anyway I try to talk these things out with some people but I just find talking about it just makes me feel worse then I already do... so I find its more better to just talk about other things but don’t think I forget these things... I just put them aside in my mind to worry about later... it’s not good to just forget ones problems when you need to deal with them constructively lol.. Or something like that.
You know I sometimes make no sense at all even to myself... it’s funny I will sit here and talk about something and get to a point where I just have no idea what the hell I’m going on about...
*I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!!!!*
So ya know something I hate is people that talk to you and vanish for no god dam reason.... no BRB nothing just poof lol.... come on... three letters people... b.r.b is it that hard? *shrugs* maybe it is... I mean it take a lot of energy to press three keys in sequence.
I like Monster energy drink... I don’t care how bad it is for me... I have given up so much cos of my fat ass but I refuse to give everything up! It’s funny though cos I hear about people that down this stuff like its soft drink then whine when they get fucked up..... *fucking stupid moron!!!!!* you should only drink one a day.... you should not need to suck them down one after the other... that’s just senseless. OH GODS I just burped and it when back down my throat.............. FLAHHHHHHH *Faints*

I haven’t done this in ages honestly people I need to write my thoughts down more often.... was even thinking of making a vlog... a video blog lol... but I never do it..
Ok for now I’m off... but I might write something later lol.
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Posted By: Michael 4 - Category: No Category
   


A Voice in the Darkness

November 14th 2011 04:38
Within us lies darkness so deep, so profound that we barely understand it. When it bubbles to the surface even for the briefest of moments we get a small glimmer of its darkness, its despair, its horror.
The one thing most don’t realise is that you don’t need to give into this darkness, even when it cries to be fed you only have to sate it with but a thought of darkness not to actually let it free to gorge its self.
I’m guessing you’re wondering why I’m talking about this huh? Well I have been watching people for a long time and seeing how they accept their own darkness with so many truly horrible vices, drugs, killing, rape... It never truly ends to be honest and I am afraid that humanity as a whole is doomed to always follow this darkened path to its eventual end where ever that is no one can tell.
But I for one will not follow them, though I may watch them I do not partake in letting the darkness break free, I have my ways of feeding it without hurting myself or those around me. Granted it’s not as fun as letting it out to reek havoc but hey you don’t always get to have that much fun huh. Few simple things you can do is listen to metal or gothic music, I for one love this it feeds it and also brings me a semblance of peace, another way is to play violent games on gaming consoles or pc... again one of my favourites ^_^ what can I say I been doing it for ages and not once have I taking a hand to anyone.
WRITING honestly people.... get a book and a pen and write down all your dark impulses it can take a hell of a weight of your mind and soul sometimes, I do it all the time and only post half of them hehe.
I don’t really know why I got to wanting to write this down... most likely to take my mind of my home life... it is not a good time right now lol but I’m not here to blog so let’s move on shall we.
Good...
Now talking can help you from time to time but I find some time alone can do wonders as long as no sharp things are close lmfao... just kidding cutting is something I don’t do anymore and even when I did it was a sexual impulse more then to FEEEEEEL lol... pansies you want to feel? Go outside and weed the garden in the sun... go for a mile hike in the hills... go for a long ass swim... plenty of ways to truly feel something without needing to open the flesh for that tender feel of warm sticky blood running from the opening in your soul.
In any likelihood you’re not reading this anymore so I might as well finish off here before I fall into a rant lol... want to chat about problems and such drop me a line I’m always around someplace.

Now you all be good! If not then dam well be good at it!
xXUnholyWolfXx
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moving to new horizons.

August 28th 2011 02:02
Well this is it, I’m moving on the 31st and I won’t have the phone on until the 5th then 10 days after that I will be back online I’m hoping it will happen sooner but who knows.
Now I had a few ideas for things to do... I know I need to finish my book and a few other stories and poems and I also wanted to start a video rant since that seems like fun lol... but what do you think?
I got my clothes packed and the small things get done tomorrow and dammmmmmmmm it’s so close to moving day ya'll lol... I can’t wait... I am going to miss you all but I still got my mobile so I won’t vanish forever lol... most times I will be logged into msn but I will try for yim every now and then ^_^
What else.... OH I was thinking of taking a barista class to get my coffee making skills up lol... but we will see ^_^ I don’t know who is going to read this so you know... have a good one and keep safe...
I love my Chelle Belle ^_^
And I will be back
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A little rant... please enjoy I know I did

March 30th 2011 10:22
A shadow surrounds me, it grows and breaths… looking around this world I just see the growing stupidity of the human race, why just today I watched as a man drove by reading a book while steering…. The book was placed on the steering wheel so he could read it better…. What the hell is wrong with people? The more I look at life the more stupidity I see.
Take my last land lord…. Wow… I once knew a cat lady and I would have to say she is about the same, though there was this one time I went into help the old cat lady move her bed and gods…. I could not wash enough to get the stink off… and the room I slept in was disgusting… I kept quiet because I hate making waves but good gods…. I steam cleaned the floors 5 times and the stink just would not go….I don’t know honestly what the hell had wondered into that room and died but good gods… you know I was as kind as anything and still the bitch stole all my things I mean come on… my writing books would not be any use to her and she would not return them to me… I am slowly getting my life back but the memories those books held will be lost forever and I will get my revenge… It will come suddenly and I will make sure it’s never forgotten… ^_^
So anyway… she is not something to worry about… just a slag who messed with married man and disgusting people for fun…. Don’t know why I ever offered to help IT… lmfao… hmmmmm what else… OH how about this… I was walking down the street and this car almost took me out, I was like…. DUDE WTF…. People just don’t know how to drive I swear….anyway this bores me now so I’m off to do something more constructive lol


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Just another Rant

September 20th 2010 10:41
Cold seething hate reaching up from the bowls of nothing to grip onto the neck and tightens its hold slowly... I remember when all was good, calm and peaceful… sometimes I wonder what happened to bring on the nightmares? Why do they grow bigger and more rotten each day? Withdrawn souls gripping onto their withered frames hoping that an end will come to their pathetic life so they may find happiness and contentment...
But they waste what little time they have in this pursuit of faithless self indulgence. This hate and rage seethes inside growing stronger everyday yet I see no end in its growth, only more fuel for its growth. So tell me why should I want it to stop growing when it feels so good to have its hundreds of snakes writhing inside the soul with their dark sticky ink coating all other feelings inside until everything feels numb and cold!
I can feel the heat rising inside me now, burning its way through my core and filtering throughout my being adding to the hell I feel growing inside of me. There is a steady pain in my chest as though my very heart would break free of its cadge and burst, it is something I fear but then fear itself is like a tumor growing inside of you and infecting everything you do and say, coiling around your heart and tightening it until you are at bursting point


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Just another rant ^_^

August 11th 2010 13:33
Ahead of me is a wall of rock I have not seen before, am I lost or did this rock simply winked into existence before I arrived... I don’t understand what is going on anymore... it is as though I am walking through a nightmare I cannot wake from no matter how hard I try I just seem to find yet another level of this dream... this... waking nightmare... HELL I don’t even know what I’m really talking about anymore... everything seems to be blending into together as one and I am just getting more and more confused... what am I doing? Where am I going?
Is it time to move on? Or is it time to stand and fight?
Why do I find this all so hard to understand


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A Darkend Soul

June 25th 2010 15:57
Cold seeping feelings burning into the core and rending it limb from limb, blood pouring down to the floor as their broken body’s fall to the floor in a bloodied heap, the chilled laughter echoing off the walls as he chooses another victim to play with, his games dark and evil, his idea of love filled with blood and pain beyond human understanding.
Licking his lips he picks a young girl and pulls her up, her black hair pretty and the fear in her eyes making his lips water. She is beautiful if he had need for human urges she would be perfect for his needs but not any more now all he wants to do is make her scream in pain, his pain is still too great he needs to kill more make MORE PAIN to feed the darkness that eats at his heart.
Hours pass he opens her up feels every inch of her and shows her it all before she passes into the cold void that he so wishes he could find yet no matter how many he takes, no matter how many he rends open... none of them hold the secret he seeks to end this torment he lives.. The pain he must endure every day in order to live on the human world


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A Darkend Soul

June 25th 2010 15:54
Cold seeping feelings burning into the core and rending it limb from limb, blood pouring down to the floor as their broken body’s fall to the floor in a bloodied heap, the chilled laughter echoing off the walls as he chooses another victim to play with, his games dark and evil, his idea of love filled with blood and pain beyond human understanding.
Licking his lips he picks a young girl and pulls her up, her black hair pretty and the fear in her eyes making his lips water. She is beautiful if he had need for human urges she would be perfect for his needs but not any more now all he wants to do is make her scream in pain, his pain is still too great he needs to kill more make MORE PAIN to feed the darkness that eats at his heart.
Hours pass he opens her up feels every inch of her and shows her it all before she passes into the cold void that he so wishes he could find yet no matter how many he takes, no matter how many he rends open... none of them hold the secret he seeks to end this torment he lives.. The pain he must endure every day in order to live on the human world


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Depraved answers wanted to this strange question ^_^

May 4th 2010 09:47
Ok... here we go.... I have a little game for you all to help me with.... I want you to read this and give your answers... the rules are as follow:

1:all answers must not cause permanent harm


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My DeviantART update

May 6th 2008 03:15
My life’s news

Well what can I say.... I have been confused as of late and I know why but I am not telling you all... one of you knows... probably two... but meh that is not a major problem... I am still looking for work... but I am thinking I should go ahead with this Freelance journalism course... what do you think? Ether way... I do not like this damn Microsoft word... its strange and weird!..... Grrrrrrrrrr


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