The Symptom of Love
When couples are in love, they trail each other footstep. They tend to follow their partners' interests, behaviors, and thoughts. They take on their partners' hobbies and habits. The reason is they don't want to lose their partners. They do that out of love, but at the same time, losing their own identities.

In the movie Bug, a divorced woman, who was the victim of physical abuse, went through a psychological transformation when she met a delusional paranoia schizophrenic patient, Peter. When Peter had a delusion of having bugs implanted to his body, she wanted him bad enough that she felt deeply into his story, and believed the bugs actually existed. She had stretched her imagination far enough to convince him the bugs were transferred to her body when they made sexual contact. She fulfilled her loneliness by picking up the "bug" from her man. Her desire of him to stay darkens her ability to see things clearly. Her perception was manipulated by her need of companionship.

The "bug" was a metaphor of real life's symptom of love – a love bug? When we want someone bad enough, we start to melt into the people that we love, and sometimes, we forgot who we really are. Love can influence, or vary our perceptions and views. Losing someone that we love or losing our own identities, during our lifetime, we have to make a choice…

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Mariage Marathon

May 12th 2007 07:24

The wedding day was the beginning of the race as the couple started their life-marathon together. At the beginning, the couple tried to catch their breaths at the same time, to run at the same pace, and if one of them ran faster, the other one would run faster to catch up so they could be together again. If one of them started to run out of line, the other one tried to steer his/her partner back to the right track.

Many generations ago, most women stayed home to take care of her family. Nowadays, family and career were both important for women. Some career oriented women have chosen to give up their jobs to stay home, and take care of the children. The husbands then became the sole financial providers, and the wives became dependent on their husbands for emotional and financial support. By the time the children grew up, these abandoned wives/mothers started feeling lost with the empty nests. They have lost their focal points in life – they are out of place. At the same time, the husbands have been too busy with their roles and they forgot that they have left their partners who got lost so far away behind.

As time went on, sometimes, many wives were so out of touch with the society. The working lives that they were once had were out of reach. Some of them would even feel worthless. They have missed the challenge and the fulfillment from the job. To pick up where they left off was a difficult thing to do for some women both mentally and physically. Getting back to the society was a big challenge. For instance, getting in shape was one thing; catching up with the advanced technology was another thing. Yet, they would feel it was time for them to move on, away from the “desperate house wife” life style. They believed that this was their chances to renew themselves. They also need their spouses to be supportive. From the husbands’ points of view, this situation might not have been a problem. The husbands so got used to coming home with hot home-cooking meals, fresh new laundry, the clean and organized house; and he did not want to change the existing life style.

In the movie, The War of the Roses, the wife became angry with her rich, lawyer husband when he did not support her idea of having her career back. The movie showed the couple fighting like children and used their beautiful house as a battlefield. The war continued until “death does them apart.” They both died at the end and she still refused to forgive him. Even though, the movie exaggerated the situation a little bit; but the message was clear – the wife’s job of raising her children was done and she wanted to pursue her career once again. Somehow, the husband did not seem to recognize the “housewife” job was voluntary. When she did not have the support from her husband, the resolution was dissolution of the marriage.

Regardless of how old we are, as we have gone through life, we are still growing everyday with new experiences. As we grow older, a lot of things in our life have changed: our thoughts, feelings, preferences, the way we perceive life, and even down to simple thing as hobbies. The desire and hope for the future might have been different for most couples. Somehow, along the marriage-marathon line, the couple has lost touch with each other. One partner would have been too far to the right or to the left, many steps behind, or even totally stopped running. To reset or adjust the pace and position for both would be difficult and almost impossible for some.

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The Author(s) of Our Lives.

May 2nd 2007 06:23

The Author(s) of Our Lives.
Marry Shelley published her novel Frankenstein in 19th century in London. The character in this novel, Victor, intended to create a beautiful creature; but his creation, instead, had turned out to be a repulsive and disgusting creature. Victor had created such a deformed and distorted monster. Frankenstein looked so terrible that his creator had to run away in terror to escape his own creation. Frankenstein, the victim felt rejection from his own creator- his God. Interestingly, Mary Shelley – the creator of all the characters in this novel, in turn created Victor.

As a writer, I could not help thinking about the idea that I was the “God” or the “Creator” of all my characters that I have created in my writings. The writers, acting as Gods, who created each of their characters from their creative imagination – each with the distinctive look, the unique characteristic, personality, degree of intelligence, background, fate, destiny, and timetable of everyday life.

Into a few chapters of the manuscript, when the writer perceived the content of the story differently, changed his/her mood, or if it was necessary, he/she had an authority to get rid of certain characters to make the story more meaningful, and the lives of these characters have to cut short. Their life spans were predetermined and the writer controlled the outcomes. The readers might have thought that the death of their favorite characters were unfair. They raised question. The answer was quite simple – the writer could kill them off whenever he/she believed if it was appropriate as well as bringing them back to live from their graves.

Likewise, who would be written our life stories? There must have been a writer(s)/author(s); someone(s) has been writing a novel(s) about our lives. From the moment that we were born, we have been playing characters in the novel. The way the story developed would determine our fate and destinies because we had no idea how our lives as characters would turn out to be. Some of us had wonderful lives and some had miserable lives. Our lives were predestined. Our appearances, our personalities, our pathways of life, the way we lived, how our lives would end up, and even our choices were not up to us to decide. We were destined to be submissive and under the mercy of our own “Writer,” “God,” or “Creator.”

In the movie Misery written by Stephen king, Annie Wilkes was not happy with the ending from the novel written by Paul Sheldon. Annie was upset because Sheldon has killed her favorite character, Misery. She made him change the story according to her ideas – bringing Misery back to life. Stranger than Fiction, was another movie that represents the similar type of idea. Harold Crick's life, played by Will Ferrell, was dictated out loud by a woman writer, Emma Thompson. The main character could hear his writer's voice as a narrator. The author herself was a normal human being just like her character, living in this world. The funniest thing about the movie was that the writer tried so hard to search for the appropriate ending for her character.

Could we do the same to our "writer" because we are not happy with the story of our lives? I guess not. Hopefully, when writing us as the characters, our "writer" would have mercy and compassion on us.

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