Human experiences include many past failures, disappointments, regrets, losses, grieve, unhappiness, guilt, and may be dark secrets. These feelings made us become more mature, stronger, and they are parts of our lives. Many people have tried very hard to block out these painful experiences completely; many have waited until they are ready to face the past and use it as an inspiration to move on; and many would live through their lives without dealing with it.

Some people have experienced some traumas that were so painful that their brains just have to make a short-term hiding place for all these distresses so they will be disappeared from the system temporarily. In order to survive, the body defense mechanism has to work so hard to make the person fail to remember everything from the particular incident. Well, this shut down mechanism might not be a bad idea when a person is not ready to face that piece of missing reality. However, these traumas do not evaporate into the thin air as you wish they would. They circulate inside the system and wait for a chance to come back to hunt you down.

These scars were like virus or bacteria hiding inside your body and wait for the opportunities to get out and destroy you when your immune system is weak. Life is short! Would you like to give your life away to some bad, past experiences? If you have made some awful choices, decisions or mistakes, please deal with them so you can move on.
These suppressing past failures will not give you a full life until you are ready to deal with them but not until you are truly ready to deal with your past. These failures help you learn your mistakes from the past. They also give you the inspiration to take a different path - to create a brand new you. A failure should not stop you from being whom you want to be; one bad relationship will not make you be susceptible to another one; and a painful experience should not be your permanent scars.

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Unfinished Business

November 18th 2006 01:24

Reincarnation is a myth or fiction to many people. If you don't believe in reincarnation, then it is just an illusion. The concept of reincarnation stands for the idea that each individual has had many lives before this one and there are many more to come. Therefore, each person should behave nicely so there will be no bad consequences in the next life. When I first heard about this concept, the idea just freaked me out. According to the theory, I have to live my life properly; otherwise, I have to pay back for my actions in my next life. A simple example would be if I had robbed the bank in my previous life, then I have to do many charity works in this life as a punishment.

If reincarnation exists then the injustice system does not work. For instance, when you see a homeless man on the street begging you for food and this man is in pain, you should not help him. The reason is this homeless person is getting what he deserves; he must had been a bad person in his previous life and he must pay his dues during this lifetime – even he does not remember what he has done in his previous life!

There was one real-life story that I have heard from my sister. A brother kept telling people he knows about his brilliant, older sister. His older sister has rejected most men that pursued her. She quoted, "I knew who will be my future husband, I have met him in my dreams repeatedly ever since I was a kid. I remember his face as crystal clear." The sister later actually found the man in her dream that she has been looking for. He was a prison inmate. She told him everything. Not too long after this happened, the man got out of the prison, and later died of a car accident. Some said these two people had some type of spiritual bond that could make a contact with each other through their dreams. Others said she must have had some unfinished business with this man; and she had to return to this life to have a closure with him.

After death, where the soul goes? Do you think that everything would end at that point? I think this subject has been a mystery to all of us. If you believe in "fate and destiny" that I have talked about in my other article, you would think about how fate and destiny would somehow might possibly link to the "unfinished business" from a previous life; and in some mysterious way, the incomplete business would continue in this life. The act of believing about something does not make it true. The best we can do are to believe on the facts that we have found or based on the facts that we know. There constantly have been and will be many unanswered questions…

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Anger Management

November 16th 2006 01:01

Everybody has his/her limit. Crossing this limit would cause serious consequences. Yoga or other breathing exercises can help to control anger. On the other hand, expressing anger is healthier than accumulating inside one's system. Therefore, everybody has to be able to use some types of approach or technique to control the anger and to maintain one's sanity. Anger can cause many dissolutions of marriage, and uncontrollable rages can cause harmful acts between couples. Nevertheless, murdering of spouse due to anger is an unjustifiable act.

Mental abuse is just as injurious as physical abuse. I once accepted a dinner invitation from a close friend of mine. It was a family gathering before New Year day. While we were expecting to eat, each of us had some drinks before dinner. The dinner party consisted of about eleven people sitting around a vast, round table. My friend's grand parents sat next to me – one on each side of the table. The grand father poured some wine into his glass (he was ninety something years old). His wife said quietly to him, "the doctor said that you should not drink that much." Her husband turned around (ignoring my existence of trapping right in between two of them) and yelled to his wife right at my unfortunate right ear. His voice was so piercing that I strongly believed that I might have been deaf as Ludwig Beethoven and I could never regain my hearing ever again. What I have heard was he used to spank his wife (like the way Ricky spanked Lucy in "I love Lucy") whenever he thought she had done something wrong. I guess it has something to do with generation gap.

Not too long after, he was admitted to the emergency room for bronchitis. He had to stay overnight so the physician could observe him. Sitting on his hospital bed, he had used too much energy screaming at the nurses asking for his wife. His voice was loud enough that woke up everybody on the same floor at the intensive care unit. He finally collapsed. By the time his wife got to the hospital, he has already slept into a coma and never regained consciousness. Only if he had not done that, he would have been here still with his family.

My own father had his mood swing varied times during the day. I used to feel I had to face one individual with two personalities and I had to cope with this problem for many years. I did not know which one of him would showed up when he came home from work everyday. I think the rage that controls the temper runs in my family. I myself sometimes could not easily control my anger. No matter what I did, I could not prevent myself from causing a scene. For many years, I have denied my uncontrollable temper and it costed me my relationships.

My advice to people out there that have the same problem as I do is every time you have an argument and before you say anything that you would deeply regret later on, you should leave the scene as soon as possible. I don't care what type of excuse you would use – just get out as quick as you can, calm yourself down, and think about the situation over. If the condition gets more severe, you should seek professional help before you lose a wonderful friendship or relationship.

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"Security Blanket" or "Bed of Roses" ?

November 9th 2006 21:58

When I visited a grand hotel such as at Wynn's casino hotel, I really enjoyed almost everything they could offer me (regardless of the expensive bills). The enjoyment came from all the features that I could not get at home. A bottle of champagne next to "a bed of roses" was there ready for me to sleep in drunk after a long day of fun activity. When I opened the window blind of the hotel room, the sparkling of the city lights reflected through the window like a beautiful piece of jewelry. However, when I got home, I could close my eyes like a blind person as I walk in the dark because I knew every single inch in my house. I am so get used to the feel the force of the wind sweeping through the trees in my garden making them dancing in the moon light. Frankly, I preferred both settings. They just provided me with different kind of sensation. One place is pleasurable, enjoyable, and exciting. The other location is so familiar, memorable, and comfortable.

A wife or a husband is considered to be the "security blanket" or "safety net", someone you can come home to when you lost the excitement or after being abandoned from an affair – a relationship back up system. Human can be so aggressive or should I say selfish. One of my girl friend once told me that just for security purpose she should have at least two relationships at the same time because if one did not work out, she would have the other one to fall back on. This way she won't be lonely. Therefore, until she finds a better one, she would keep this one for her sake of companionship. Nobody deserves to be treated as the back-up role. You expect that person to be there for you whenever you feel vulnerable and lost. Under this circumstance, that's not love, not to mention respect

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Marital Trial

November 8th 2006 21:32

My close friend and I had dinner one night at a nearby restaurant where he lives. I had not seen him for almost one year. During dinner, we started the conversation by asking each other, "How have you been?" He said to me, "We broke up a month ago," before I could question him why, he said to me, "She just stopped loving me." As my thoughts were racing through my head, I continued eating. We have been friends for many years; and over the years, he had been involved in several relationships but unlike other time, this time was different – he and his ex-girl friend had been living together for almost three years.

I have witnessed many of his breakups. It seemed like he was such a strong survivor because every time he has been able to move on with his life. Unlike every other time, this time he was heartbreaking and upsetting. Three-year of marriage without the official marriage license and she just stopped loving him

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Fate and Destiny

November 7th 2006 21:22

Few years ago, a nice man that I did not know much about has involved into a car accident and passed away instantly at the scene. I have met him once through his friend's introduction at a company Christmas party. That were the first and the last time that I have met him. The second time I attended an occasion that involved this man was his own funeral. The fate that linked this man and myself was like when I was in my car driving and he was like another driver next to me at one point then I just took a quick glance at him as he drove pass my car. Ever since his death, I could not take my mind off this misfortune.

He was cruising his motorcycle going uphill when another automobile from the other direction crashed into him. His body was ejected from his motorcycle into a ledge of a hill and broke his neck. Two witnesses stopped their cars came to him and called 911. These two witnesses were destined to be the last people who saw him shortly before he took his last breath. At the funeral, during the eulogy, his wife had shown her appreciation toward the two observers for being able to tell her that her husband has died peacefully without any pain. She quoted these two witnesses as her husband's "angels

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Desperate Act of Love

November 5th 2006 06:13

Love plays an important part in our lives. Movies, music, poems, and novels usually express love as something beautiful and romantic. However, it can also become very deadly. We all need love in our lives in order to survive. Without love, it leaves one with nothing to live for because we all are desperate for the love of someone. However, when it gets out of hand, people can waste their lives or kill for love; and yet love continues to exist as part of human existence.

Love between a man and a woman is even more complicating than other kind of love. A marriage license does not represent a lifetime guarantee of love. Some people think that to love someone means to "own" that person; so does marriage mean having possession of another person? Just because someone is willing to commit to another person, it does not mean that he/she can be owned as a collection or property by his/her spouse. Many people can sacrifice their own lives for loosing the "ownership" of someone they love. When one person stops loving another person, does love worth to end one's precious life unless the purpose of dying is for punishing that person

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God's Favorite

November 5th 2006 06:00

God's Favorite

I once have seen a person passed by on the street with a "perfect" face. For a moment, I thought I was frozen in time. I was hypnotized by this person's look. On my way home, I could not help thinking about that person because I have not seen such an angel face like that in my whole life. Sure, I have seen beautiful people all the time. For instance, actors, actresses, and even normal people; however, this one is unordinary. Every feature is perfect on this person's face. Not only the face but also the body is a "10

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