Tha Playas Involved
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This theory all started with me sitting in my backyard, holding CJ, looking at a tree, a lawn mower, this man that was about to use the lawn mower, the grass and time of day this all took place in. I mean if you go back and think about your definition on being high in and on a mystical level, then you will be half way towards this crazy as shit I am seeing right now. It is well known that I do not do drugs, smoke weed or care if you do. Now matter what I have tried to do, wanted to experiment with or whatever, I am strictly, a mini-cigar and liquor man. My thing that kept me from that life of drugs was never about me being smart or lucky, it just was not on my path while growing up, and the things that took me to places people say they visit when they are high. I think my definition of an artificial high, was substituted with the real thing that seem to come to me naturally while traveling through life. So its not that I am lucky or anything, I just never knew about drugs, until I was able to understand, the affects of drugs. And by that time, things were working very well for me, and I could not afford to alter my mind state, and felt no reason to change my course of living, for a experiment I heard, takes you to places I am already at or just left, by my accounts. So in starting this theory, know that it may me about one thing, but what it is more importantly about, is the things that surrounds it. But there are realities within dreams that we somehow forget about when entering into new or what seems to be new, situations. There is the world we want to be in, the one we do not, the one we are heading for and then one we actually live in. Finding your place, finding your space and time within each of those, is a key to something special, I think (smile). I ca not really say I am sure, because I have yet to master or venture into that arena on all levels. But from all indications on the things I seen along the way in developing my senses for what I am and was, is also calculating what I am strategically destined to be, and it points to this or somewhere around that area that I find myself constantly reaching for. But the game never changes, just the players involved in looking back and forward to see where you are going and where you just left, so I have always tried to, remain in a moment, while remembering to never forget, where I am going, and why. And once figuring that particular thing out, its pretty hard to go back in time with regret. I mean its not like you can yell or pray to anyone that did not already warn or tell you, "Hey, I want my future back, give me anotha chance!" You just have to live, learn, love and hopefully, survive it to live, another day, if you realize the importance of time. So thanks for joining me again, and lets see, if I can go, where I wish to, with you guiding me in your mind.
So as we venture further into this, let me first explain this like I am explaining it to a two year old, and I will mention it again, at the end of this theory I wrote, because a few things spawned this, and I feel it is important for me to comment on it, because it means so much to me. Now as I am breaking this down, know that I am doing this for me, not you. I want to explain it in this elementary sort of way, and not for you, but to or for you, so that I can be clear to myself, on what I am trying to explain so we both can understand it as mature adults dealing with reality. So right off of the bat, know this, "I do not think I am anyone special, but if you are reading this and I do anything with you, you are special to me, and this is why and how I look at how I spend my time and hope you do too. So I say to you, spend your time on things you feel are worth your time, and in the aftermath, you will know why you spent it doing whatever it is, you have done". Understand that statement, and please, read on, if you do not need to read that statement once or twice again. Okay, let us imagine me talking to you like you and I are talking to someone else, about you and me and how we interact. No, scratch that, imagine me talking to you like you and I are on the same page, in sync and totally are on the same level about something, and we are trying to explain it to someone that wants to know our opinion on things, and we are explaining via third party as an example. Imagine that, then imagine you and I are not you and I, but two people we are describing to a person that can not see, and can only imagine things via our words. Imagine that, and then take your own personal opinion out of things, and deal with the facts, and apply it to you and me and how we see things that deal with "time". How would you explain this, you and I, to someone that does not know, you and I or how we really feel about something? Tell me, and then tell me, are we what you think, what you know or what you hope to become? Then, tell me, are you doing whatever you could to make it happen, define it, show how special or trivial it is, and what are you expecting from what you know, feel and hope? If I had to explain how I view things and the things I associate myself with, I would explain it something like this below, so there would be no mistakes on what I mean, what it means to me and what I hope I means to someone or thing I am involved with. I would say this;
Dear Such and Such,
First of all my, thank you very much for simply being you. There are many things I could say, many more I could write and try to display, but to be completely honest with you, if I tried, it would only ruin how I really feel, based on what I know before you and this moment. Its such a vicious cycle, how we learn what we have been taught, and really only miss things when they involve the other things that are involved with them in an ignorant and indirect way. What I mean is, though I am doing well, surviving and not yet fully living life to my full potential, it is my experiences in life and the way I live it, that has illustrated things that have alerted me to my pros and cons in wishing to add to my life. You see I know me, how I am, what I will think, feel and do from certain things, and though they may or may not be fair or understood by others, when a certain line, that is invisible mind you to others, but when that invisible line is crossed, I have no choice based on what I have experienced, but to become something I know, will be from my own acceptance and doing, what I will be because of it, what I need to be while within it, and who I will not be in dealing without it, to deal with the situation I got myself into. So know that throughout my day, I have many things that productively occupy my time, feed my ego, make me feel giving, unconditional, positive and humble. Within each of those moments, I do my best to select the best things that can make me, a better me from other angles I can not control. I do not know everything, only the things I know, therefore, having the ability to learn, absorb and deflect things, comes with what we know we can handle, will handle, wish not to and more. In my daily routine of living, I more than likely meet, talk, chat, email and converse with over 500 different people a day, each and everyday, on a personal basis. I blindly interact with about 1500 and ignorantly affect about 5000 people a day, directly. Many are friends, some business related associates turned friends, random, strangers, fans and my family. I also read a lot, pray even more, dream when I am awake and constantly think about my next step, as I unconditional leave another, for whomever wants to enter, needs to leave or does not know there are idle within it. So as I have explained to you, time to me, is the only thing, I find myself obsessed with. You see time to me, is the only thing in life, we can not control or get back when it comes and goes. You can fall in love, be in love, hate, lie, tell the truth, make money, buy and sell things and more, over and over again. But time, that is something that is so valuable to me, that I do not waste it; I do my best to invest within it. This is not how I feel or purposely try to concentrate on, this is how I have live my life, period. Hundreds of thousands of people in this world, die each day and night, and I bet you that if you had a chance to ask them, did they know today would be their last day, 99% of them, would say, "No, and I wish I would have been doing this or that more, and spent my last moments saying this or that, even less". That will not be me. I give my all to everything I do, if a person understands or not, I could care less on what someone thinks, sees me as or whatever. My heart is in the right place, based on the many times I have learned and put it back together when it was not in a situation similar to the one I am about to enter. So in saying that, I am saying that with all of my responsibilities. All of the things I am responsible for, all of the things that are pushing and pulling me, tempting me, manipulating me and more, when I give something my time, I am saying to what or whomever it is, you are the most important thing in my life right now, and you need to understand why because I do and we are connected for this moment, for a reason and I am going to give you my all, for the sake of at least, the moment". So I say all of that to say this, regardless on what you may think you know. Regardless on what you think I may be saying, or regardless on anything, when I spend time talking, writing, chatting or whatever with you, I am doing so because nothing else is important at that time, but what we are sharing. And if I do not talk or chat with you, its not because of one thing or another, it has everything to do with, what ever else that I am doing, is more important to other things at that moment, and I am basing that on my effort towards you, what I feel for you, what I do not and our previous interaction that was either, good or bad that made me who I am, in the moment after whatever happened.
So when interacting with me, come correct in all you do, or do not come at all, because when it comes to my time, that is what I am giving to you. I am not saying all of the time, but when we interact, be realistic, respect the fact that I am saying to you, "Yeah, its okay right now to be 100% real, because I wont judge you or think any other way than what it is, but please, do not insult me and I wont insult you by treating you or the moment less or more than it is. If nothing else, we owe each other that because dam, out of all of the fake shit, bullshit people and more, we owe it to the world and moment, to be the ones that realize, hey, someone has to do it, why not us to each other, right now". I mean think about if we stripped down everything and dealt with the facts and reality, not what we think it may or may not be, but what has been shown, given and accepted. And then think, do I deserve what I am getting, what I am putting out, my experiences and efforts? I mean think about that, and not personally, but in a realistic way, and then tell me, what you feel you need to tell me when you spend time with me or when I come to mind. One of the most significant things I have learned for fact in my life, is that there will always be bigger and better. Its part of revolution, and the reason, I was able to be better than what was before me, and will be surpassed by someone else that was like me, after me. I have accepted that, but also know, just because it is bigger or better, that it does not mean it is bigger and better for me. Finding out my place where I perform best on all levels, is most important to me. Having the ability to learn, teach and witness, is all I wish for myself and all I give my time to. I want and need to be available to things, and having the ability to select what is best for all things in my life, will benefit more than me, in a win-win situation. So if you like me, do not say you love me. If you are upset at me, do not be mad at someone else. Be what you are, so that I will know what I am dealing with, in the time we spend with each other. Remember that I wo not judge you, and could care less if you judge me. Because if you know anything about me, I do not have the time, to judge anyone, my life is full enough. So that all goes back to time, and how it is invested. If I take one step the wrong way, the affects on that one step, can take me further than I wanted to go, and that, is time wasted and not invest in what I wish to be all about. Now of course I will not always be right, but if I go into each situation based on my feelings on what is best, it does not matter where I end up, because I went in the right way, and that, has a better rate of return than if I went in the wrong way. So I hope after this, we can interact with all you wish, and I give you, what you feel, you honestly deserve, from a man like me. Enjoy the moment
Anthony Douglas Gere
Okay, now I asked you to do this in the beginning, so once again, would you please imagine me talking to you like you and I are talking to someone else about you and me and how we interact. No, scratch that, imagine me talking to you like you and I are on the same page, in sync and totally are on the same level about something, and we are trying to explain it to someone that wants to know our opinion on things, and we are explaining via third party as an example. Imagine that, then imagine you and I are not you and I, but two people we are describing to a person that can not see, and can only imagine things via our words. Imagine that, and then take your own personal opinion out of things, and deal with the facts, and apply it to you and me. How would you explain this, you and I, to someone that does not know, you and I? Tell me, and then tell me, are we what you think, what you know or what you hope? Then, tell me, are you doing whatever you could to make it happen, show how special or trivial it is, and what are you expecting from what you know, feel and hope? If you had to explain how you view things and the things you associate yourself with, would you explain it something like this so there would be no mistakes on what you mean, what it means to you and what you hope it means to someone or thing you are involved with. What would you say, and remember when you answer, "I do not think I am anyone special, but if you are reading this and I do anything with you, you are special to me, and this is why and how I look at how I spend my time and hope you do too. Spend your time to things you feel are worth your time" What and how would you say what I just said, if you were explaining what I just explained, to someone else? Do you have the time to do so, and if not, I understand, but for the sake of something larger than you and how you feel, please read on.
Thank you for doing so, because you see in my life now, just entering my forties, taking care of "Tha Heir" fulltime and more, I have looked back on many of my choices in life, and have been pretty pleased on what I thought was going to happen, what did to make it and things happen and not happen, and the aftermath in all of it that includes, the things I stayed away from. Now of course I could have done some things better, not hurt those that I did and felt were betrayed, of course I could have done better. But here is the thing, I did not, and what I did, is what I felt, was the best thing for me at the time, even though after I did it, I may have found a different or more efficient way to get where I was trying to go for something, bigger than just me. So yeah, again, I could have did this faster or slowed down on that, but all in all, I can see many of my mistakes and many of the things I feel I did right. I mean yeah, we all went through the many phases in life. The nerd, wanna be rebel or thug, plaything, wild, free and serious, and now in looking back, we, well at least me, I see the carnage and statues on what I left behind, and feel one way or another about it. But there does come a point where you need to figure out what is most important, and when you do, weigh the scales on temporary pleasure for long term damages, or cut your loses and dedicated it to the things you hope to win or gain that defines you, not what you are defined by. I also learned in looking back, that one of the most underrated cliches that gets said an awful lot, is forever true. The quote," You cant please every body", is very true, and I think once I realized that, I mean really put it in perspective on how it pertains to my life, a lot became easier. I mean I know who I am. What I am going to show, keep to myself and boast, so without effort, I know I am able to perform the thoughts of my actions, without a question or doubt when my mouth writes a check I may need to one day cash. So in knowing that and learning the craft to not take things personally even when they are done to my person, helped me a lot in not always trying to prove something when I do not have to. That was big for me, because once I start liking me, I was able to enjoy other things that were and were not, like me. Its a case of being there, and when you have been there, you know what it feels like, what it takes to get here and you are praying that all you are doing, will keep you at this magical place. So in and with interacting with people, I do my best to explain, what "time" means to me, how I define it, apply it in my life and to those and things I unconditionally give it to. One irony and something that is often contemplated, is someone wondering, " Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful, because you love me?". Thats a question, and will end this theory with an email I got from someone, while looking for a reason, to write this theory. Thanks for joining me again, and CJ says hello to the world, and thanks for the support. Here is the email, and think about, what time means to you. Enjoy the moment -
A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door...
SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour..'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'
The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.
'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.
'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow.. I would like to have dinner with you.'
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.
It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love. If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I may never forget you. The game never changes, just, "Tha Playas Involved".
May All Be With You As You Are Within It.
Enjoy The Moment
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