The Voices in my HeadTheology of Chocolate Cake: Part Two - The Baker
January 12th 2007 01:57
...if a cake is like a religion, then the baker must be....
I don't eat chocolate cake much. It's really rare. I think I made myself sick on it a few years ago and I haven't tasted it since. Actually, I didn't make myself sick on it at all. I ate someone else's cake and it made me sick. Horrendous food poisoning, actually.
Have you ever thought about the blind trust that takes place when we eat someone else's cooking or baking? Think about it. It's horrifying.
We have no idea what lies in the cracks and crevices of their kitchen. We do not know if their kitchen is clean. Even if we went to see it for ourselves, really looked hard at the kitchen, we don't know what microscopic horrors await us. We do not know that filthy vermin have not run across their spoons and other cooking utensils.
Nope. We sure don't. We just open our mouths and take big old bites of whatever they are feeding us.
We do not know if they substituted ingredients. What if they...added...their own....errr...uh...brand of...sweetened condensed milk? We don't know. You don't know. Happens all the time.
I decided a long time ago that I will not eat anyone's cooking that I don't know really well. I eat only the recipes that I have read for myself and know what the ingredients should be. I eat things I recognize to be good in taste and nutrition. I know that whatever I partake of is good for me.
I don't care how good of friends I may be with a particular baker...or how well I know them...if what they serve me is not going to be good or healthy for me, I don't eat it. I don't care if it hurts their feelings, although I would hope that it wouldn't. But if I have to make a choice between food poisoning and hurting someone's feelings because I don't trust what they have made, it's no contest.
I once knew a baker quite well. In fact, they taught a free cooking class and offered private lessons all for free, they so wanted to share their knowledge of baking. I attended a few classes and I was impressed. They also emphasized the importance of cleanliness in one's kitchen. Their knowledge was actually quite startling. They knew without looking at what degrees and for how many minutes something should be baked. It was all there in their head. I decided that this person must be the best person to teach me about baking. I met them at their house and went into their kitchen. It looked clean enough at first sight. Then, I began to pull open doors and drawers to find various instruments needed for my baking. It was appalling. Dirty, molded dishes stacked everywhere in cabinets, in the oven, in drawers. Their was dust and mold and mouse droppings everywhere I looked...when looking into the deep recesses of their kitchen. This person had no business teaching anyone how to bake. The hypocrisy was staggering. I left immediately and never went back.
Now, sometimes you come across someone who has been baking for years. Their entire life reeks of homebaked bread and cookies. Their waistline is a bit extended. Their utter bliss is being in the kitchen and not only baking, but showing others how to bake, as well. They live for it. It's rare. But it does happen. These people are god's gift to the bakery. Everything they make turns out beautifully. You know that they scrub their kitchen daily from top to bottom. They check themselves for any sign of illness that may be passed on. They sanitize everything and you know just by being in their kitchen that you are in a pure and clean place. They welcome you to inspect for yourself, to read the recipe yourself, to re-clean plates and forks, yourself, if you feel it is necessary.
If you want to learn how to bake...the latter is the person you need to teach you.
In the words of Queen Elizabeth I to her parliament...
"It is monstrous that the feet should lead the head."
Question everything.
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