tHE wORLD ThRouGH glASs eYEs
March 23rd 2009 03:01
Eyes wide and glazed. Barely a blink, until the sun came through the glass and made him squint. It was the same sort of glass that the smoke came through and made him unable to sleep. Often, refrained from making responsible deciisions, especially cause he was a dad now. He thought it would of stopped after his first, a girl. But it didn't. It only used to go away and hibernate like a bear during winter. But then the gap, it kept getting closer and closer. He blamed it on that whole global warming. He kept feeling warmer, but his other half didn't. She hadn't wanted it to continue into their family life. Especially when the second, the son was born. She glowed and noticed the gaps between his sunrises gradually getting closer.
He says it felt like ages ago, but it was barely 7 days ago that he felt like that. It seems similarly stupid to those fish that get dazed and eaten by the dolphins, sharks, and all the bigger fish in a giant school. You'd think a school that big would teach them something. But he was alright, at least he though he was. He wasn't as bad as heaps of other people he knew. Well, then again he probably wasn't as good, either. The main thing was he had it under control. It used to creep up on him, probably once a week, usually on the weekend. Actually come to think of it, he used to hate it. He once despised it for what it did to people. Some he knew. And some he didn't. But he never wanted to be like that. Like them. He was different than the rest. Well at least he thought he was.
And it was almost inspite of his weakened belief that he started snowboarding. It wasn't long after that he found himself racing downhill with an unphased avalanche, gently strolling behind him. She was coming either way, he just happened to be there that's all. He knew the mountain well. He had hiked it a few times. ]He had never reached the peak, always just high enough to stare it in the face. He used to say you should never sit at the very top, it would be too easy to fall down. Because most people can get up, but wouldn't of known how to get down, except to fall. He never used to come down the hill face. He would help others find a safer way down. It would always take longer but he enjoyed staying up. Being awake when others weren't. Focusing all his energies undisturbed on what he wanted to. He said there was nothing like it.
He went away for a while. A fresh start, opportunities to better himself and his family. But somehow that cat finds you and drags you back. I think he had forgotten most of his mind from before. His memory wasn't as clear, and he wasn't as cautious when he climbed this time. People would tell him, but not many knew. He wouldn't let them know, eventhough he was helping them through the terrains. He said he was always a better teacher than a student. But how can you teach, if you can't learn? Now he was coming down but didn't know how to get out. He couldn't stop. He'd be killed. That avalanche doesn't stop for anyone, it just keeps rolling, just like time. Until finally he was engulfed, neck deep, suffocating, alone and cold. All on his mind was his wife and two beautiful kids. The smoke pouring out the lungs where once it was pouring in. I think he could of gotten out. But he wanted to hurt the people for hurting themselves. He wanted to cause such an outrage with all the information combined to scare them off that mountain. It wouldn't be easy. If he survived it would have been an excuse to get back on it. What lesson learnt?There was no other way and with so much to lose, there would have to be a lot to gain. It had to be the ultimate sacrifice. A physical, tangible being in return for a word, a belief, a journey and a lesson.
He says it felt like ages ago, but it was barely 7 days ago that he felt like that. It seems similarly stupid to those fish that get dazed and eaten by the dolphins, sharks, and all the bigger fish in a giant school. You'd think a school that big would teach them something. But he was alright, at least he though he was. He wasn't as bad as heaps of other people he knew. Well, then again he probably wasn't as good, either. The main thing was he had it under control. It used to creep up on him, probably once a week, usually on the weekend. Actually come to think of it, he used to hate it. He once despised it for what it did to people. Some he knew. And some he didn't. But he never wanted to be like that. Like them. He was different than the rest. Well at least he thought he was.
And it was almost inspite of his weakened belief that he started snowboarding. It wasn't long after that he found himself racing downhill with an unphased avalanche, gently strolling behind him. She was coming either way, he just happened to be there that's all. He knew the mountain well. He had hiked it a few times. ]He had never reached the peak, always just high enough to stare it in the face. He used to say you should never sit at the very top, it would be too easy to fall down. Because most people can get up, but wouldn't of known how to get down, except to fall. He never used to come down the hill face. He would help others find a safer way down. It would always take longer but he enjoyed staying up. Being awake when others weren't. Focusing all his energies undisturbed on what he wanted to. He said there was nothing like it.
He went away for a while. A fresh start, opportunities to better himself and his family. But somehow that cat finds you and drags you back. I think he had forgotten most of his mind from before. His memory wasn't as clear, and he wasn't as cautious when he climbed this time. People would tell him, but not many knew. He wouldn't let them know, eventhough he was helping them through the terrains. He said he was always a better teacher than a student. But how can you teach, if you can't learn? Now he was coming down but didn't know how to get out. He couldn't stop. He'd be killed. That avalanche doesn't stop for anyone, it just keeps rolling, just like time. Until finally he was engulfed, neck deep, suffocating, alone and cold. All on his mind was his wife and two beautiful kids. The smoke pouring out the lungs where once it was pouring in. I think he could of gotten out. But he wanted to hurt the people for hurting themselves. He wanted to cause such an outrage with all the information combined to scare them off that mountain. It wouldn't be easy. If he survived it would have been an excuse to get back on it. What lesson learnt?There was no other way and with so much to lose, there would have to be a lot to gain. It had to be the ultimate sacrifice. A physical, tangible being in return for a word, a belief, a journey and a lesson.
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