The Weirdo Within
October 19th 2007 01:18
I don't know about you guys, but I seem to have an inbuilt freak magnet. Laugh away, but you have no idea how horrible it really is. I think it is a family curse, cause my sister has one too. We both attract weirdos. I don't have to be doing anything in particular, they just flock to me regardless. And I don't get why. I am not a nice person who takes sympathy on those who are socially retarded, in fact I am the person who is likely to point out their flaws. To put it bluntly, I am a bit of a bitch. In my defense though, you would be too if you had the these kind of weirdos trying to talk to you. You have to get them away quickly or they get hope that you are going to be nice and NEVER GO AWAY!!!
There were some absolute weirdos at high school. You know the ones I mean, creepy and always staring and would occasionally try to talk to you. You've got to get in fast and say (or yell) "Why are you talking to me? Go Away". If that doesn't work, try "Get the f*uck away from me weirdo!!!"
My sister told me recently about her latest run in. She was sitting in a park on her lunch break, minding her own business and listening to her Ipod. She sees this guy rolling around in the grass (like a whale lolling is how she described it to me. I find the visual image is better if you add the whale noises in yourself. See?) out of the corner of her eye who is obviously trying to get her attention. She is well practiced in the art of avoiding weirdos and ignores him. This seems to be working well until the guys starts yelling "Hey! Hey lady!" So now other people are staring at her. Reluctantly she take out a headphone, she knows where this is going (as I said before this is an ongoing problem for us) and so the weirdo yells, while everyone else is still looking at her, "The grass. It protects me from the ants". Yep, that's what he said. My sister, who has more tolerance then me, just said "Thats great" and when back to the music and hoovered the rest of her lunch down so that she could get the hell out of there.
See, I think humoring them is encouraging them. What would I have said is something along the lines of "F*ck me, that's amazing. Now piss off!!!" And then given him crazy eyes till he left. See I find the best method of getting them to go away is to out-crazy them.
When I go to the casino, I always get sleezy 40 year old freaks who have never had a date before hitting on me. I mean, its probs my own fault for going there in the first place, but I like to gamble. The thing is with sleazy freaks, you gamble with more then your money.
I was at Uni the other day writing an assignment and this woman sits at the table directly opposite my line of eyesight. She has nothing in front of her, just mutters to herself and starts to laugh hysterically, while looking at me. Freaked me right out, I swear if she had a cat she would have thrown it at me.
Then there are the crazies that come out at night in the city. Those ones scare me. You can't out crazy someone who is totally insane. Best defense I can think of there is to get away as quickly as you can. If you throw food at them, it slows them down a bit.
Oooh, just remebered another one. One night I was catching a bus into the city to meet a friend after work. It was about 6pm. There was this guy who sat behind me and waved his hands over my head while chanting. Frigging nuts. Luckily the next stop was his. If it wasn't, it sure as hell was going to be mine.
So anyway, who else attracts the weirdos? Or maybe you are a weirdo. Can you please explain why it is always me you pick to freak out?
My sister told me recently about her latest run in. She was sitting in a park on her lunch break, minding her own business and listening to her Ipod. She sees this guy rolling around in the grass (like a whale lolling is how she described it to me. I find the visual image is better if you add the whale noises in yourself. See?) out of the corner of her eye who is obviously trying to get her attention. She is well practiced in the art of avoiding weirdos and ignores him. This seems to be working well until the guys starts yelling "Hey! Hey lady!" So now other people are staring at her. Reluctantly she take out a headphone, she knows where this is going (as I said before this is an ongoing problem for us) and so the weirdo yells, while everyone else is still looking at her, "The grass. It protects me from the ants". Yep, that's what he said. My sister, who has more tolerance then me, just said "Thats great" and when back to the music and hoovered the rest of her lunch down so that she could get the hell out of there.
When I go to the casino, I always get sleezy 40 year old freaks who have never had a date before hitting on me. I mean, its probs my own fault for going there in the first place, but I like to gamble. The thing is with sleazy freaks, you gamble with more then your money.
I was at Uni the other day writing an assignment and this woman sits at the table directly opposite my line of eyesight. She has nothing in front of her, just mutters to herself and starts to laugh hysterically, while looking at me. Freaked me right out, I swear if she had a cat she would have thrown it at me.
Then there are the crazies that come out at night in the city. Those ones scare me. You can't out crazy someone who is totally insane. Best defense I can think of there is to get away as quickly as you can. If you throw food at them, it slows them down a bit.
Oooh, just remebered another one. One night I was catching a bus into the city to meet a friend after work. It was about 6pm. There was this guy who sat behind me and waved his hands over my head while chanting. Frigging nuts. Luckily the next stop was his. If it wasn't, it sure as hell was going to be mine.
So anyway, who else attracts the weirdos? Or maybe you are a weirdo. Can you please explain why it is always me you pick to freak out?
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