Man Finds Winning Lottery Ticket In Old Sneaker: Goes To Movies.
June 16th 2009 23:34
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Hasta La Vista.....Maybe?
June 2nd 2009 00:46
I just saw the new Terminator flick at the Rave. Though it didn't have the suspenseful action that epitomized the first two installments, it DID give us a lot of insights into the history of the terminators and a more human touch to the story-telling. With Arnold ensconced in Sacramento, I went into this feeling a bit remorseful...thinking it just wouldn't be a terminator movie without him. Well.....SURPRISE! I don't know how they did it, but a big, naked Governator DID make an appearance.....looking like he did in the original Terminator film. Hell, even G-N-R's anthem "You Could Be Mine" got a little replay along with Alice In Chains "Rooster". I think the movie could have used a little more music and a lot more head-to-head battle scenes between the resistance soldiers and terminators. How cool would a running street battle be with hundreds of terminators making a run at one of their bases? That would have been the shiite.
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Posted By: Shawn Matthews - Category: No Category
Caught Watching Chick Flicks
May 30th 2009 23:00
Okay. You know the drill. You're a guy and you want to go see a movie that looked pretty good in the preview, but then your buds tell you it's a chick flick.... What to do? First, as it is a blatant violation of man-law to go to such a film without being dragged there by an extremely hot chick... you tear through your rolodex, hoping to find a lady to invite to the show, only none of them are available. When that fails, you try to find a theater well away from your home that is slow during the day and you wear a cheap disguise.
So, there I was...wearing a London Fog trench coat with the collar turned up, my Fedora drawn low on my brow, sporting a pair of those gimmick glasses with the rubber nose and mustache, with a giant soda and tub of popcorn in one hand, and a ticket for Australia in the other. Into the auditorium I slunk. I took a seat and waited for the previews to start. A couple minutes later, my best friend saunters in with his gal pal and somehow sees right through my disguise! Busted!
They sat down right next to me. My buddy spent most of the film observing my reactions to the "mushy" stuff and had the nerve to laugh when I cried at the end. Needless to say, it was the beginning of hell on Earth for me. I kept finding those novelty glasses on the hood of my car or, sometimes, just for a change of pace, it would be a box of Kleenex tissues. The ribbing continues to this very day. I won't, however, apologize for liking chick flicks. They are a refreshing change of pace from my normal fare of super hero and horror films. And besides, why should I? I'm still the terror of the grid iron and the most feared man on the golf course. That's because my presence usually indicates my extremely inebriated friend will be piloting a golf cart that day...Ever played drunken golf cart polo? I highly recommend you don't! Then there's that whole, I can't hit anything but line drives thing.... knocked out half a dozen old coots that way...
Oops! Got a little off topic there... Anyway, I LIKED Australia. It was a really cool film. Besides, it's my step mom's fault I got addicted in the first place. Ever seen Shogun? It can best be described as a chick flick for guys. It was chock full of blood and guts and fights and swords and....NINJAS! IT HAD NINJAS! Woohooooo!!!! Nothing like a little beheading to set the tone for Loooooove, right ladies? Anyway, I've been watching chick flicks ever since. Give it a try, fellas. You just might get lucky and find a good one yourselves.
So, there I was...wearing a London Fog trench coat with the collar turned up, my Fedora drawn low on my brow, sporting a pair of those gimmick glasses with the rubber nose and mustache, with a giant soda and tub of popcorn in one hand, and a ticket for Australia in the other. Into the auditorium I slunk. I took a seat and waited for the previews to start. A couple minutes later, my best friend saunters in with his gal pal and somehow sees right through my disguise! Busted!
They sat down right next to me. My buddy spent most of the film observing my reactions to the "mushy" stuff and had the nerve to laugh when I cried at the end. Needless to say, it was the beginning of hell on Earth for me. I kept finding those novelty glasses on the hood of my car or, sometimes, just for a change of pace, it would be a box of Kleenex tissues. The ribbing continues to this very day. I won't, however, apologize for liking chick flicks. They are a refreshing change of pace from my normal fare of super hero and horror films. And besides, why should I? I'm still the terror of the grid iron and the most feared man on the golf course. That's because my presence usually indicates my extremely inebriated friend will be piloting a golf cart that day...Ever played drunken golf cart polo? I highly recommend you don't! Then there's that whole, I can't hit anything but line drives thing.... knocked out half a dozen old coots that way...
Oops! Got a little off topic there... Anyway, I LIKED Australia. It was a really cool film. Besides, it's my step mom's fault I got addicted in the first place. Ever seen Shogun? It can best be described as a chick flick for guys. It was chock full of blood and guts and fights and swords and....NINJAS! IT HAD NINJAS! Woohooooo!!!! Nothing like a little beheading to set the tone for Loooooove, right ladies? Anyway, I've been watching chick flicks ever since. Give it a try, fellas. You just might get lucky and find a good one yourselves.
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Posted By: Shawn Matthews - Category: No Category
Hollywood Rapist Strikes Again
May 28th 2009 17:25
Just when I thought Hollywood couldn't get any worse, after what they did to Spider-man and Ghost Rider, they rolled out the new Wolverine movie. It makes me wonder if any of these scumbags has ever read a single comic from the series they are making the movie from. Yeah, you heard right, I'm a comic geek, but I'm a really BIG comic geek that can single-handedly pull an engine out of a pick up so, watch the snide remarks or I'll send my evil little nine year old niece to kick your ass.
Anyway....where were we? Oh yeah, Wolverine. Here's a comic book legend with some of the best comics of all time, things that would make really great cinema, and Hollywood ignores it in favor of a lot of nonsense that has absolutely nothing to do with the franchise. Victor Creed, A.K.A. Sabretooth, is NOT related to Wolverine...other than being his lifelong tormentor until Logan lopped off his head with a mystic Katana[ Click here to read more ]
Anyway....where were we? Oh yeah, Wolverine. Here's a comic book legend with some of the best comics of all time, things that would make really great cinema, and Hollywood ignores it in favor of a lot of nonsense that has absolutely nothing to do with the franchise. Victor Creed, A.K.A. Sabretooth, is NOT related to Wolverine...other than being his lifelong tormentor until Logan lopped off his head with a mystic Katana
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Posted By: Shawn Matthews - Category: No Category
Sex-Crazed Serial Killers At Large In Hollywood!
May 27th 2009 21:37
Run for your lives, cinema lovers! There's a group of mindless, maniacal monsters on the loose in Tinseltown and they're out to butcher every film franchise you've ever loved! Don't believe me? Have you SEEN the new Star Trek? They're madmen, I tell you! MAD MEN!!! I mean, come on! Where the heck were the die-hard Trekkers when they rolled out this garbage? J.J. Abrams manged to destroy a beloved franchises' entire time line in a single, boring film. Should have realized the Cloverfield dude was up to no good....that movie stunk, too. (I'd like to say more on the subject, but I gotta keep this PG.) J.J. Abrams.....you do NOT grock Spock!
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Posted By: Shawn Matthews - Category: No Category
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