pieceofmymindThe Twilight Zone - I Am Officially Still There.
June 20th 2007 16:40
Can you believe that one of my relatives called my grandmother’s house and asked to speak to her the day before her memorial service? Yes, it did happen, and I am still in disbelief; but that is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to all the craziness we have dealt with since my grandmother died. One of the craziest moments was when my homosexual, transvestite cousin showed up at the house with his mother who had no teeth in her mouth at all. It was like a freak-show because he had on this long wig, and no one really knew about his life change. We hadn’t seen him in so long, and he just showed up. Talk about awkward!
We are also being bad-mouthed by certain family members for not allowing any visitors when my grandmother had reached her final stage of life. I mean, come on, why would we allow people to come into her home when she was unconscious? She wouldn’t have wanted people to see her that way. Those last moments were a time for us, her immediate family, her children…that was time for us to spend with her. These people are the same people who knew she was sick initially in 1999 and never came to see her.
I know that it’s not going to make or break anyone in the Orble community that I haven’t been posting regularly over the past few weeks, but I felt a personal responsibility to let my Orble family know why I haven’t been posting. It is very difficult to lose someone that you love, and even more difficult to take care of their personal details once they are gone. I never realized it until now, but I have been right in the middle of it since the 9th when my grandmother died. Calling insurance companies, former employers, taking care of so many things – and it’s not over; that is hard work, on top of grieving.
So many decisions had to be made, the first being whether or not to embalm. I don’t know if you have ever investigated the embalming process, but for me personally (and the other members of my immediate family), it was just too much to think about someone doing to my grandmother. Embalming is a dehumanizing process, and even though your loved one is deceased, it is too much to bear the thought of. If you haven’t investigated, take a look at the tools used. A Google search will give you results, and the pictures alone are enough to make you shudder on the inside. Considering the fact that we all have to leave here one day, it would be a good idea for you to make the decision for yourself so that your family will know what you want. We decided to have my grandmother cremated, and it was the right choice for us – something else that we are being criticized for by certain family members.
We also had to put together a memorial service for her; we worked with the funeral home for that. FUNERALS AND MEMORIAL SERVICES COST SO MUCH MONEY…I never knew. Which leads me to another thing: If you don’t have insurance, GET SOME! Throughout this time, there were many days missed of work, and many expenses that needed to be taken care of. Insurance money can come in handy in the end because there is so much stress involved; you almost need a vacation when it’s over. It is hard to think about, but you never know when your time will come.
The service was yesterday, and it was lovely. We are happy with the way it turned out, but still sad because we miss my grandmother very, very much. It is hard to move on because it almost feels like now, I am leaving her behind; but I know that we have to move on with life as “normal”. The normal part will have to be redefined.
We are also being bad-mouthed by certain family members for not allowing any visitors when my grandmother had reached her final stage of life. I mean, come on, why would we allow people to come into her home when she was unconscious? She wouldn’t have wanted people to see her that way. Those last moments were a time for us, her immediate family, her children…that was time for us to spend with her. These people are the same people who knew she was sick initially in 1999 and never came to see her.
I know that it’s not going to make or break anyone in the Orble community that I haven’t been posting regularly over the past few weeks, but I felt a personal responsibility to let my Orble family know why I haven’t been posting. It is very difficult to lose someone that you love, and even more difficult to take care of their personal details once they are gone. I never realized it until now, but I have been right in the middle of it since the 9th when my grandmother died. Calling insurance companies, former employers, taking care of so many things – and it’s not over; that is hard work, on top of grieving.
So many decisions had to be made, the first being whether or not to embalm. I don’t know if you have ever investigated the embalming process, but for me personally (and the other members of my immediate family), it was just too much to think about someone doing to my grandmother. Embalming is a dehumanizing process, and even though your loved one is deceased, it is too much to bear the thought of. If you haven’t investigated, take a look at the tools used. A Google search will give you results, and the pictures alone are enough to make you shudder on the inside. Considering the fact that we all have to leave here one day, it would be a good idea for you to make the decision for yourself so that your family will know what you want. We decided to have my grandmother cremated, and it was the right choice for us – something else that we are being criticized for by certain family members.
We also had to put together a memorial service for her; we worked with the funeral home for that. FUNERALS AND MEMORIAL SERVICES COST SO MUCH MONEY…I never knew. Which leads me to another thing: If you don’t have insurance, GET SOME! Throughout this time, there were many days missed of work, and many expenses that needed to be taken care of. Insurance money can come in handy in the end because there is so much stress involved; you almost need a vacation when it’s over. It is hard to think about, but you never know when your time will come.
The service was yesterday, and it was lovely. We are happy with the way it turned out, but still sad because we miss my grandmother very, very much. It is hard to move on because it almost feels like now, I am leaving her behind; but I know that we have to move on with life as “normal”. The normal part will have to be redefined.
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
You are such a lovely family.
katyzzz
Comment by pieceofmymind
Matters Of The Heart: Talking About The Tough Times
Different Day, Same Ol' BS
Comment by pieceofmymind
Matters Of The Heart: Talking About The Tough Times
Different Day, Same Ol' BS