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"The saints sit up in heaven twiddling their thumbs because so few people pray to them any more." - St Madeleine Sophie Barat

The theology of praying to God for things we don't need. My cock size.

April 13th 2009 22:55
My Irish grandmother once said, "God always answers your prayers but sometimes He says No."

Makes sense to me.

St Alphonsus says God will always answer your prayer in the affirmative if what you are asking for is necessary for your salvation.

Apparently having a larger cock is not necessary for my salvation. I know Ed has been Bibling up and furiously praying for me, but King David said "omnes Dies gentes damones" (All the gods of the gentiles are demons). Only God knows who Ed prays to (which demonic spirit).

And again, my grandmother was fond of saying, "Only God knows. And He's not telling us."


So while it is interesting that Ed is interested in my cock size. Well, okay, it's more disturbing than interesting, it is nice of him to say a few prayers on my behalf.

In the Apostles Creed we say, "I believe in the communion of saints." As in, I believe in the intercessory prayers of the saints. Even the Holy Souls in Purgatory can intercede for you once they get out of that semi-hell-hole.

So anyway. My cock. Teresa said it was big enough. Once she finished gagging.

I might give adult dating sites a miss. It's easier to get laid on Orble.

I mean what is it with all these people out there on the net anyway? Pretending they have lives when they don't? If they had lives they wouldn't be on the net all day long.

Oh I've seen it on the adult sites. Go into a chat room in the morning and there are all the bored housewives calling each other hun. Hi hun. Watcha doing? Nothing hun. Bored. Grrr kids. brb. back. wb. ty. yw. Yes it's fascinating conversation in adult chat rooms during the day. Go in there and ask someone if they know how to fix a puncture on a blow-up-sheep and at least it generates some conversation. They all sit in there expecting to be entertained.


And if it's not bored housewives, it's men who have set up couple's profiles (without their partner knowing jack-shit about it) and they just sit on cam all day wanking.

Now some blokes do have huge schlongs. I've seen them. One bloke's dick was so big he could root a woman and she could give him a headjob at the same time. God must have decided they needed a huge schlong for salvation. But he just dished me out a normal size penis. Ed thinks it's small, but that's only because he likes anal sex.

Anyway, that's enough rubbish for this post.

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Comments
8 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Damo

April 14th 2009 00:59
Do you think it is time to openly declare World Worble 4 yet.

World Worble 3 was fun but came to an end when the Dawkinites attacked.

However World Worble 2 was a lot of fun because it had Nazis. Actually I think the Nazis were nicer and more rational then the Dawkinites. Remember little Anus? Wasn't he going to hunt us down for insulting Dawkins Hitler.

Obviously Noddly Orble Land has its own Blockheads. Speaking of blow up mutton. How come the Queen of the Dawkinites cannot fix her hair or fight her own battles? I guess throwing a mangie dog at a problem is the Dawkins approach. Better watch out David or he may give you a very hard pinch. Won't that hurt? Anyway we never seem to see the organ grinder but we hear she has a great organ. If it is a she, there seems to be some confusion. The monkey that just does what it is told or it gets another spanking.

Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling

April 14th 2009 01:12
Damo,

I'm getting laid now. I don't care anymore.

The only disturbing thing about this relocation to Melbourne? Teresa really should stop calling herself Mr Smith. People will think I'm gay.

Comment by Optomistic Opportunism

April 14th 2009 03:29
I really do enjoy the fact that i get to sit in the stands in these situations and just throw eggs when I feel like it.

Damo, allow me to introduce myself, I'm opto. Hello there. Now relating hitler to dawkins gives a fair whiff of fascist flair without intellectual incentive, yet you claim rationalism is on your side.

Is that recession-proof economic rationalism?

David, ummm, yeah. Good to see our libidos can live so long.

Peace out boyeeeeez.

Comment by Damo

April 14th 2009 10:11
Optomistic

Thanks for your concern about my rationalism.
However I have written 4 posts which explain my position on Dawkins in the last few days.
It may be worth your while reading and commenting on those. I look forward to your feedback.

The Nazis that I was referring to did actually set up shop on Orble two or so years ago. I keep their comments on previous posts where they made a number of 'pronouncements' about the superiority of Hitler. So you are probably missing a large chunk of information.

Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling

April 16th 2009 01:54
Opto

Old people can have sex.

I think this comment of yours reveals a lot about the type of person you are:

I really do enjoy the fact that i get to sit in the stands in these situations and just throw eggs when I feel like it.

If I've read the subtext right, what you're saying is that you prefer the virtual world to the real world and are going to inhabit the net so you never have to deal with people in the real world and confront any real issues.

And that you like throwing eggs at people rather than meeting a real person, going out shopping with her, and poaching them and sitting down at a table and having a real conversation over real food.

Yes, you really are an internet hero. How does it feel to be an internet hero and never have any interaction with people? Or should I ask Morgan?

Comment by MrsSmith

April 27th 2009 05:46
What a laugh!


Comment by Optomistic Opportunism

April 27th 2009 06:29
Excuse the light hearted banter davey m'boy.

nice to know u don't know me, yet so much is revealed about you...

what has jon got to do with it now?! i think mrs smith should be a front rower in afghanistan. be in a tank with a banner outside it saying 'down with opium!'

lets face it, there would be no war on terrorism if there were no war on drugs. if one wishes to blast me for this comment, one must be too set in their ways to understand

...jon, if ur around, can u invite me to one of the orble get togethers sometime? i'm not having luck with finding out about them randomly anymore. just a PM will do...peace to the admin people!

Comment by MrsSmith

April 28th 2009 07:16
Teresa had nothing to do with this.

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