The Robot Doctor - Part 1 (by Rune Woodman)
May 17th 2009 08:22
#You need that replaced;
#What do you mean?; The robot didn’t understand the statement. It was not often that one robot gave advice to another. In fact it was unusual for robots to speak to each other on matters other than work or safety. Perhaps that’s what the statement meant. Some part of the robot’s body was defective and was a threat to the safety of a human. #Is some part of my infrastructure defective?;
#Yes. Your left ankle joint. It is making a noise that is not normal.;
The robot wiggled the offending joint. It was definitely squeaky. #Thank-you. I will see a mechanic after my shift.;
#Yes. A mechanic might fix it. But they only have standard parts. It will need replacement again in a month. Let me recommend someone who will give you premium parts.;
The robot was surprised, robots never gave this kind of advice, but strange as the conversation was, robots implicitly trusted each other. #Thank you.; said the robot. #What is the designation of this mechanic?;
#He is not a mechanic. He is a doctor.;
They shared information and during its free time allotment the robot went to visit the doctor.
There was a waiting room, just like when humans visited the doctor. The robot did not take a seat. It did not flip through one of the magazines piled onto the coffee table. It stood in the corner and activated power save, letting the standby sensors take the job of identifying the moment when the doctor entered the room.
"Hello there." This was most unusual. The human was standing only a few centimetres from the robot and no sensors had warned it of the human’s approach.
#I am faulty; said the robot. #But I believe there are more serious problems than I first thought. You cannot be of service to me. I need a mechanic. It will be better at diagnosing my faults. This does not imply you are inferior.;
"You’re here now," said the doctor. "Why don’t you come in and let me have a look, perhaps I can recommend a good mechanic for you." The robot agreed to be examined by the doctor and followed him to his office.
"Please sit," the doctor motioned to a chair on one side of his desk then sat in a more comfortable looking one on the opposite side.
#I am sure you are aware that I do not need comfort. I can stand.;
The doctor smiled and said, "It would make me more comfortable if you were to sit."
The robot sat. Almost as if to prove it needed no comfort the robot sat on the very edge of the chair and in a manner that looked extremely uncomfortable.
"How can I help you?" the doctor asked.
#I have a...; The robot paused. #I am sorry but I am not used to hearing such questions from a human. It should be me asking you how I may help.;
"But I need no help." The doctor seemed to enjoy the robot's confusion.
#Yes. I can see that. Can you re-phrase the question in a manner that I am able to answer?;
The doctor smiled again, "OK. Why are you here?"
#That is much better, thank you. I am here because another robot suggested I should come. There was no reason for me to not come so I came.;
"Why did your friend suggest you come here?"
#It was not a friend. It was another robot. I don’t have friends. That is not part of my function.;
"You have not answered my question," said the doctor.
The robot paused, realised where it had made the mistake and said, #I have a faulty left ankle joint.;
"Just as well you’re sitting," said the doctor. "May I look at it?"
#Yes.; The robot leaned back in the chair and raised its left leg so the ankle and foot were at about waist height. The doctor stood up and moved to examine the foot.
"This is a minor problem," the doctor said in a doctor-like way. "I only need to replace a small screw and clear one of your lubrication ducts." He looked up at the robot. "I could do it now if you have the time."
#Now would be good,; said the robot. #What will your fee be?;
"Oh, there’s no fee for this," the doctor put the robot’s foot on the floor then beamed at the robot. "Not for your first visit. Now get onto that bed, on your back, and I’ll get my tools."
The doctor opened a drawer and took out a small tool kit.
The robot did as it was told, #Will the procedure take long?; it asked.
"Only a minute or so,"
#Oh, that long.; Though it was impossible it seemed the robot was nervous. #I don’t want to take that much of your time. You must be very busy. I could still go and see a mechanic.;
"Nonsense," the doctor came to stand at the foot of the bed and began the work. "Unlike a robot a minute isn’t a very long time for me."
#But it is an eternity for me.; whispered the robot.
"Well, if I keep you talking the time will fly and the whole thing will be over before you know it," the doctor said warmly.
#Oh, no, don't talk while you work. I can shut down for the minute and you only need to tap me on the arm to activate me. I wouldn’t want to do anything to stop you from concentrating on the job.;
The doctor stood up, "No need. I’m done."
#Really?;
"New screw in place; duct all clean. Give your foot a wiggle."
The robot wiggled its foot. No squeaking.
#It is fixed. Thank you.;
"You see, no time at all," said the doctor. "Now what was your other problem?"
#Other problem?; asked the robot.
"When you first arrived, you said your problems were more serious than you had thought. That implies that it’s more than your squeaky foot that needs looking at."
Feeling more confident in the doctor’s abilities the robot explained, #Earlier, when you walked into the room my sensors did not alert me to your presence. There must be a major problem with my sensors.;
"Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that,” said the doctor. “I get that a lot. I’m very quiet for a human."
#Really?; the robot was unsure. One of its highest functions was to make certain it was aware of a human presence; this function went deeper than seeing the person or hearing the foot falls. It was about sensing the vibrations of a heartbeat, smelling chemicals on the breath that were expelled from the blood and picking individual pheromones to ascertain the human’s state of mind.
"I have decades of experience working with robots," the doctor continued. "You would be surprised by the things I can do that would trick your sensors. Now, get up and go back to your rack. You are in perfect working order again."
The robot got up from the bed and, thanking the doctor again, returned to its rack for down-time.
There had recently been a power shortage and plugged into their rack robots were instructed to power down all bodily functions and let the Master Computer power their brains while it backed up their databases and re-organised their file structure. Humans called this process 'Brainwork'. The robot was no different from any other so it obeyed the command, closed its eyes and eased into the rack after the Master Computer successfully connected.
When the Master Computer was done the robot was powered up again, ready for another shift. Before leaving the rack an automated series of tests were run to confirm no loss of data or database integrity and a log file was generated for the robot to review. The correct functioning of any robot was a major safety issue so there were several layers of redundancy to ensure that if anything was wrong or unusual the robot would not be allowed near humans.
The robot reviewed the log file. As usual all three thousand and twenty eight tests passed.
...No...
...One failure...
The robot reviewed the log file again. One test had failed.
It checked the tests results. The failure was in its clock.
According to the robot’s clock the master computer had completed the Brainwork in only fifteen minutes. This was not possible. The robot was a low-class sentient worker. It always took two hours to process its Brainwork. It had to take two hours. It was physically impossible for the robot's brain to work any faster than the two hour threshold. A complete brain job of only fifteen minutes would mean the brain was at the level of a personal assistant or perhaps even higher. That was at least four levels above the robot’s capabilities.
Something had gone wrong.
#What do you mean?; The robot didn’t understand the statement. It was not often that one robot gave advice to another. In fact it was unusual for robots to speak to each other on matters other than work or safety. Perhaps that’s what the statement meant. Some part of the robot’s body was defective and was a threat to the safety of a human. #Is some part of my infrastructure defective?;
#Yes. Your left ankle joint. It is making a noise that is not normal.;
The robot wiggled the offending joint. It was definitely squeaky. #Thank-you. I will see a mechanic after my shift.;
#Yes. A mechanic might fix it. But they only have standard parts. It will need replacement again in a month. Let me recommend someone who will give you premium parts.;
The robot was surprised, robots never gave this kind of advice, but strange as the conversation was, robots implicitly trusted each other. #Thank you.; said the robot. #What is the designation of this mechanic?;
#He is not a mechanic. He is a doctor.;
They shared information and during its free time allotment the robot went to visit the doctor.
There was a waiting room, just like when humans visited the doctor. The robot did not take a seat. It did not flip through one of the magazines piled onto the coffee table. It stood in the corner and activated power save, letting the standby sensors take the job of identifying the moment when the doctor entered the room.
"Hello there." This was most unusual. The human was standing only a few centimetres from the robot and no sensors had warned it of the human’s approach.
#I am faulty; said the robot. #But I believe there are more serious problems than I first thought. You cannot be of service to me. I need a mechanic. It will be better at diagnosing my faults. This does not imply you are inferior.;
"You’re here now," said the doctor. "Why don’t you come in and let me have a look, perhaps I can recommend a good mechanic for you." The robot agreed to be examined by the doctor and followed him to his office.
"Please sit," the doctor motioned to a chair on one side of his desk then sat in a more comfortable looking one on the opposite side.
#I am sure you are aware that I do not need comfort. I can stand.;
The doctor smiled and said, "It would make me more comfortable if you were to sit."
The robot sat. Almost as if to prove it needed no comfort the robot sat on the very edge of the chair and in a manner that looked extremely uncomfortable.
"How can I help you?" the doctor asked.
#I have a...; The robot paused. #I am sorry but I am not used to hearing such questions from a human. It should be me asking you how I may help.;
"But I need no help." The doctor seemed to enjoy the robot's confusion.
#Yes. I can see that. Can you re-phrase the question in a manner that I am able to answer?;
The doctor smiled again, "OK. Why are you here?"
#That is much better, thank you. I am here because another robot suggested I should come. There was no reason for me to not come so I came.;
"Why did your friend suggest you come here?"
#It was not a friend. It was another robot. I don’t have friends. That is not part of my function.;
"You have not answered my question," said the doctor.
The robot paused, realised where it had made the mistake and said, #I have a faulty left ankle joint.;
"Just as well you’re sitting," said the doctor. "May I look at it?"
#Yes.; The robot leaned back in the chair and raised its left leg so the ankle and foot were at about waist height. The doctor stood up and moved to examine the foot.
"This is a minor problem," the doctor said in a doctor-like way. "I only need to replace a small screw and clear one of your lubrication ducts." He looked up at the robot. "I could do it now if you have the time."
#Now would be good,; said the robot. #What will your fee be?;
"Oh, there’s no fee for this," the doctor put the robot’s foot on the floor then beamed at the robot. "Not for your first visit. Now get onto that bed, on your back, and I’ll get my tools."
The doctor opened a drawer and took out a small tool kit.
The robot did as it was told, #Will the procedure take long?; it asked.
"Only a minute or so,"
#Oh, that long.; Though it was impossible it seemed the robot was nervous. #I don’t want to take that much of your time. You must be very busy. I could still go and see a mechanic.;
"Nonsense," the doctor came to stand at the foot of the bed and began the work. "Unlike a robot a minute isn’t a very long time for me."
#But it is an eternity for me.; whispered the robot.
"Well, if I keep you talking the time will fly and the whole thing will be over before you know it," the doctor said warmly.
#Oh, no, don't talk while you work. I can shut down for the minute and you only need to tap me on the arm to activate me. I wouldn’t want to do anything to stop you from concentrating on the job.;
The doctor stood up, "No need. I’m done."
#Really?;
"New screw in place; duct all clean. Give your foot a wiggle."
The robot wiggled its foot. No squeaking.
#It is fixed. Thank you.;
"You see, no time at all," said the doctor. "Now what was your other problem?"
#Other problem?; asked the robot.
"When you first arrived, you said your problems were more serious than you had thought. That implies that it’s more than your squeaky foot that needs looking at."
Feeling more confident in the doctor’s abilities the robot explained, #Earlier, when you walked into the room my sensors did not alert me to your presence. There must be a major problem with my sensors.;
"Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that,” said the doctor. “I get that a lot. I’m very quiet for a human."
#Really?; the robot was unsure. One of its highest functions was to make certain it was aware of a human presence; this function went deeper than seeing the person or hearing the foot falls. It was about sensing the vibrations of a heartbeat, smelling chemicals on the breath that were expelled from the blood and picking individual pheromones to ascertain the human’s state of mind.
"I have decades of experience working with robots," the doctor continued. "You would be surprised by the things I can do that would trick your sensors. Now, get up and go back to your rack. You are in perfect working order again."
The robot got up from the bed and, thanking the doctor again, returned to its rack for down-time.
There had recently been a power shortage and plugged into their rack robots were instructed to power down all bodily functions and let the Master Computer power their brains while it backed up their databases and re-organised their file structure. Humans called this process 'Brainwork'. The robot was no different from any other so it obeyed the command, closed its eyes and eased into the rack after the Master Computer successfully connected.
When the Master Computer was done the robot was powered up again, ready for another shift. Before leaving the rack an automated series of tests were run to confirm no loss of data or database integrity and a log file was generated for the robot to review. The correct functioning of any robot was a major safety issue so there were several layers of redundancy to ensure that if anything was wrong or unusual the robot would not be allowed near humans.
The robot reviewed the log file. As usual all three thousand and twenty eight tests passed.
...No...
...One failure...
The robot reviewed the log file again. One test had failed.
It checked the tests results. The failure was in its clock.
According to the robot’s clock the master computer had completed the Brainwork in only fifteen minutes. This was not possible. The robot was a low-class sentient worker. It always took two hours to process its Brainwork. It had to take two hours. It was physically impossible for the robot's brain to work any faster than the two hour threshold. A complete brain job of only fifteen minutes would mean the brain was at the level of a personal assistant or perhaps even higher. That was at least four levels above the robot’s capabilities.
Something had gone wrong.
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