The Review Retro - Die Hard 4.0
January 25th 2010 00:33
THE REVIEW RETRO
DIE HARD 4.0
EDDIE: Hello. This is Eddie Blane. Welcome to ‘The Review’. Today’s episode will be a Retro Review as I take a look at the movie ‘Die Hard 4.0’.
RUSTY: Whoa! Step back yeah! Uh-huh. Don’t start thinking that you’ve got Rusty ‘The Blade’ thinking that he didn’t hear that just then dig it!
EDDIE: What?
RUSTY: Yeah, Rusty ‘The Blade’ Lethal realises what you’re doing yeah! Trying to take over ‘The Review’ show yeah, uh-huh! Rusty ‘The Blade’ can smell what you’ve got smoking in the pot yeah!
EDDIE: Well I think that it’s fair to say from previous events that I’m the only one willing to comment with any form of intelligence and minus any form prejudice on this show!
RUSTY: Ooh, you’re spinning some far out weird shit now brother! Seems like the ‘Wilted Flower’ is still simmering after getting punched in the head by my main man Charles Brown in the last episode yeah!
EDDIE: My name is Eddie Blane thank you! I do not appreciate being referred to by that particular phrase.
Rusty notices the dark sunglasses being worn by Eddie.
RUSTY: Whoa! Hang on a second! There is only enough room for one cat to wear shades in this place and that’s Rusty ‘The Blade’!
Rusty leans forward to remove Eddie’s glasses and reveals his black eye.
EDDIE: Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!
RUSTY: Dig it! Yeah! Black-eye mania! Uh-huh, Charles got you good man!
EDDIE: He’s lucky that I don’t charge him with assault!
RUSTY: Whoa man! I’m getting spaced out here! Your eye makes me feel like I’m looking into a black-hole! Uh-huh!
EDDIE: Can we move on please?
RUSTY: Yeah man! You kind of look all beat up like John McClane, except I don’t remember him ever having a black eye, dig it!
EDDIE: Rusty. Please. ‘Die Hard 4.0’!
RUSTY: Ooh yeah! ‘Die Hard 4’! Live long and die hard! Or was it live free? Uh-huh! Great movie! Great movie! Right up there as one of Rusty ‘The Blade’s’ favourites!
EDDIE: And how does it rate to the other Die Hard’s? Which of course we already know are classics.
RUSTY: Classic indeed! All the way! Uh-huh. ‘Die Hard 1’, the original yeah! Often imitated, but never duplicated, dig it! Uh-huh! Snap, crackle and pop, it’s one of a kind yeah! But Die Hard 4 is right up there too! Right up in the Die Hard stratosphere!
EDDIE: I just remember watching it though and thinking that it all was a little too far fetched.
RUSTY: Yeah man! Rusty ‘The Blade’ thought the same thing man!
EDDIE: Especially when John McClane drove his car into the helicopter!
RUSTY: Yeah, but do you know what ‘Black-eye Bandit’?
EDDIE: Grr!
RUSTY: When I watched ‘Die Hard 1’ after watching ‘Die Hard 4’, I realised that all that larger-than-life action is the Die Hard style man! It’s to the limit man! Peddle to the metal! It’s so far gone it’s way off the scale!
EDDIE: Well that is true. It certainly worked in that regard. Die Hard for the new millennium.
RUSTY: The new millennium yeah! Uh-huh! You said it and I’m repeating it yeah!
EDDIE: When he was driving the truck and the military aircraft was trying to gun him down. That was pushing it as well.
RUSTY: Totally, totally. All the way! But it’s Die Hard man! The ultimate action movie! It’s meant to take it past the point of no return! Bigger bang for your buck yeah! Uh-huh! And pushing it is the word of the day, yeah dig it! Push it yeah! It’s all about perspective man! Perspective!
EDDIE: And the perspective is?
RUSTY: It’s Die Hard man! Die Hard! Nothing is unbelievable and everything is from the perspective yeah! Spin into it! Rusty ‘The Blade’ Lethal style yeah!
EDDIE: Ok, well I have no idea what you’re talking about so let’s move on.
RUSTY: Moving on yeah! Uh-huh! Die Hard 4! Yeah! John McClane back in action and taking names yeah!
EDDIE: Um, ok. Well tell me Rusty what do you think about the idea for a fire-sale? Did you enjoy its involvement in the story?
RUSTY: Imagine if that were ever to happen yeah? Think about the madness yeah! The unpredictability! A bit like Rusty ‘The Blade’ but on a whole much lower scale yeah!
EDDIE: I think that aspect of the movie was very well thought out. It was almost as if they already had the idea about doing a fire-sale movie and then somewhere along the line they decided to include John McClane in the story!
RUSTY: Ooh! Interesting, interesting! Point taken yeah! It certainly is a possibility and no doubt a smart decision if that was the case yeah!
EDDIE: I also liked the involvement of John McClane’s daughter. It added another element to his personality and it worked well.
RUSTY: And what about that wimpy guy, yeah?
EDDIE: You mean Matt Farrell played by Justin Long? Yes I enjoyed his character too! I really gave another perspective as to what John McClane was up against both physically and more important mentally.
RUSTY: You know he kind of reminds me of you yeah! Both of you are a bit wilted yeah! Wilted like a flower dig it! Uh-huh!
EDDIE: Oh really? And I guess you’re John McClane?
RUSTY: No, I’m Rusty ‘The Blade’ Lethal! I thought you knew that, yeah!
EDDIE: Ugh…never mind.
RUSTY: Never mind what?
EDDIE: Nothing. Let’s just move on…
RUSTY: Uh-huh!
EDDIE: So what’s your rating for Die Hard 4.0?
RUSTY: I’d certainly have to give it a 9 yeah!
EDDIE: A 9 out of 10?
RUSTY: Dig it! All the way! Uh-huh!
EDDIE: I’d say about a 7.
RUSTY: Spinning more shit now yeah! Uh-huh. Freak out!
EDDIE: Hmm…anyway that’s it for today’s episode. Catch us again, right here on ‘The Review’!
RUSTY: Rusty ‘The Blade’ Lethal! Catch ‘ya lata!
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