The Review - Capitalism: A Love Story
November 18th 2009 09:44
THE REVIEW – CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY
EDDIE: Hi everyone out there, my name is Eddie Blane and welcome to this edition of ‘The Review’ as we tackle the new Michael Moore documentary, ‘Capitalism: A Love Story’. As always I’m alongside Rusty Lethal...welcome Rusty...
RUSTY: Welcome, welcome. Rusty ‘The Blade’ Lethal coming at ‘ya, dig it! Uh-huh. And it’s good to be back Eddie, it’s been a while since Rusty ‘The Blade’ has graced your presence, yeah.
EDDIE: Well that’s true Rusty, it has been a while since our last review. We’ve been a bit slack haven’t we?
RUSTY: Speak for yourself little man! Rusty ‘The Blade’ Lethal is anything but slack, yeah! Dig it! He’s been on a wrestling tour of America yeah, uh-huh! Tearing it up in the USA! Ooh yeah! But Rusty ‘The Blade’ is back and ready to go and yeah, I’m fired up and ready as always to take it all the way! Yeah, uh-huh.
EDDIE: Well you could say that we took it all the way late last month, couldn’t you Rusty? When you and I attended the special advance screening of today’s chosen review, Capitalism: A Love Story.
RUSTY: Ooh yeah! Well Rusty ‘The Blade’ Lethal is no stranger to advance screenings and special treatment; he gets it all the time, yeah! But I do know what kind of effect that it had on the ‘Wilted Flower’ Eddie Blane over here, yeah! I suppose usually you can’t even afford to go to the movies, let alone going to an advance screening yeah!
EDDIE: Um, well not being able to afford to go to the movies would defeat the purpose of hosting ‘The Review’ wouldn’t it? But yes it was a good night, thoroughly enjoyed! And ah, the movie really did surpass my expectations, I really did enjoy it!
RUSTY: Whoa, step back a sec! You can’t tell me that you actually liked that dirge!
EDDIE: Well actually I did!
RUSTY: Oh yeah, that’s right! You were one of those pencil-neck geeks that were clapping at the end weren’t you?
EDDIE: Ah, I think everyone clapped Rusty…
RUSTY: ‘The Blade’ felt like bitch slapping everyone into the next room, yeah dig it! Seriously! I’m tellin’ ‘ya, there’s nothing worse than being surrounded by a bunch of yuppie, do-gooding, socialists! Yeah! One of my pet hates, dig it!
EDDIE: Well despite what you say, I felt the movie was very informative! It’s very important that people like Michael Moore stand up and highlight some of the things that big business in America, and around the world, get up to!
RUSTY: Ooh, don’t you get it man? It’s capitalism! Capitalism! That’s what it’s all about! Yeah! Survival of the fittest! It’s the law of nature, uh-huh! Sure there are some dirty deals out there, but it’s all exposed in the end! It can’t be all sunshine and rainbows, uh-huh!
EDDIE: Yeah, but as the documentary exposed, some of these deals are orchestrated by people in powerful positions! Individuals that have an influence over American congress and even the US President!
RUSTY: Yeah, but as you said…it was exposed man! That’s if it’s all true in the first place, dig it! But how do you want it to be? Socialism? Communism? Because we all know how well that works, yeah dig it!
EDDIE: Well Michael Moore was trying to promote democracy, not socialism!
RUSTY: But something’s gotta run the economy! What do you want? Everyone getting paid the same wage?
EDDIE: No, I just want to see corruption stamped out!
RUSTY: Ooh! But corruption is the word of the day and there’s never going to be an end to it yeah! All the way! If we didn’t have capitalism then we’d have Joseph Stalin and that little North Korean bastard running around everywhere! What’s worse?
EDDIE: You mean Kim Jong-il?
RUSTY: You said what?
EDDIE: Nevermind…
RUSTY: Dig it.
EDDIE: Well I think you are being a little insensitive Rusty. As we saw in the film, there are a lot of people that are struggling and losing their houses because of these ‘big business deals’. How do you feel about them?
RUSTY: Didn’t I say it before? Survival of the fittest man! The law of nature! Dog-eat-dog! Yeah dig it!
EDDIE: So you don’t care about any of the issues raised in the documentary? You don’t care that these people are starving? You don’t care that their homes are being taken away? And that they’re living on the streets? That doesn’t concern you?
RUSTY: Whoa, calm down man!
EDDIE: Calm down?! Excuse me! I’m not the one being bigoted here! And making stupid claims, when actual living and breathing people out there, who are worse off than yourself, are struggling and not being given a fair go!
RUSTY: Hey, hang on a second! I think the ‘Wilted Flower’ has grown some thorns yeah! But he better check out who’s he’s talking to yeah!
EDDIE: What? Are you trying to intimidate me or something?
RUSTY: Ooh yeah! A little bit of a confrontation happening here, yeah! Uh-huh. The ‘Wilted Flower’ stepping up to the plate yeah! Dig it! But nothing can stop Rusty ‘The Blade’ Lethal, yeah! Dig it! All the way!
EDDIE: Anyway…can we get back to the movie?
RUSTY: Hey, you’re the one that’s going off all crazy and everything! Acting all psycho on me! Dig it!
EDDIE: Well you were being insensitive!
RUSTY: Grow up man! Get over it! Build a bridge! Let’s get back to the topic at hand…! Let’s talk about Michael Moore…
EDDIE: Ok. Well. Ah, how did you view his documentary skills?
RUSTY: Pathetic, yeah. Dig it!
EDDIE: Pathetic? That’s all you have to say?
RUSTY: Well check it out! One thing that Michael Moore’s gotta realise is that no one cares a damn about Flint, Michigan! Yeah, dig it! Get over it man! The place sucks!
EDDIE: So you’re dismissing his documentary skills just based on that?
RUSTY: No.
EDDIE: Well, ok then…elaborate…
RUSTY: Well seriously man, it was just the same stuff as his other documentaries! Uh-huh. All this one sidedness and everything! Only expressing one opinion yeah! Like seriously, he could have got Rusty ‘The Blade’ up there! I would have said something intelligent!
EDDIE: Yeah like what?
RUSTY: I would have got up there and said, ‘Dig it! Yeah!’
EDDIE: Hahaha!
RUSTY: See, got you to laugh! I’m not the bad guy after all!
EDDIE: I suppose not!
RUSTY: Dig it, uh-huh.
EDDIE: Well we haven’t spent any time discussing the actual movie really…
RUSTY: Yeah, but that’s ok, it sucked anyway! Uh-huh. And besides, we’re back! We’re back bigger than ever yeah! Rusty ‘The Blade’ Lethal style, yeah!
EDDIE: So I’m guessing we won’t bother rating this one then? Since you didn’t like it.
RUSTY: You can rate it, I’m not!
EDDIE: We I have to say that I would certainly give it an 8 or 9 out of 10! It was very informative; it raised a lot of important points!
RUSTY: Like Michael Moore needs to hit the gym?
EDDIE: Is that all you got from that movie?
RUSTY: Pretty much, dig it! Uh-huh.
EDDIE: Well in that case, we’ll leave it there! For Rusty ‘The Blade’ Lethal, I’m Eddie Blade, so long everyone.
RUSTY: Catch ‘ya later!
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