The Quandary
May 9th 2007 08:40
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
Not that I’m complaining. Or am I? Depends on your position, I suppose.
I have always held firm to the belief that we are all responsible for our own destiny. I am where I am today because of my own efforts – both concerted and lacking. Richard Bach’s book Illusions had a profound effect on me. I don’t remember much of it now – I read it when I was fifteen – but it impacted on me enough for me to read it three times in two days. It’s lasting ideology on me? That we are all free to be whatever we want to be. Sounds simple, I know. I am in my late thirties. I know the generation before me would not have heard that ideology espoused too often.
The generations ahead of my own had jobs, not careers. They were not taught, “the world is your oyster”. They’d never heard the phrase “Carpe Diem”. It’s a legacy that has been passed onto us. We, and future generations, are the beneficiaries of their travails. Again though, if only it were that simple.
Sit a child down in front of two or three balls, and they’ll pick one. Sit them down in front of twenty or thirty, and they’ll pause before reaching for one, as if unsure of which is the “right” one. They might even change their mind after picking one. I sometimes wonder if I would have preferred someone to say to me when finishing school - “tradesman, accountant, sales… pick one.”
The problem is, when we accept that the choice is ours and ours alone, we have to take full responsibility for our choices. It’s a double-edged sword. The successes are there to savour, and how sweet they are. But the negatives are a truly bitter pill to swallow.
All of which leads me where?
I am one who champions the importance of chasing the dream. I believe every person on this planet harbours a dream for himself or herself. It doesn’t need to be a socially just dream. It doesn’t need to involve world peace. Typically it might involve a career. Or it might be extra-curricular. Learn to paint. Speak a different language. Play the saxophone in a jazz club. Pick one.
The challenge comes the moment we do pick one, because in that moment there is no one else to blame but ourselves if we don’t achieve that dream. And for that reason alone, I think people tend to avoid following that inner voice. The fear consumes them.
My dream is career-based. I want to Direct feature films. Not commercials. Not music videos. Feature films. Like a thousand other people out there. And you can’t have a film without a script. You can’t Direct without a script. I need a script. Someone get me a script. If I wanted to point the finger of blame somewhere to explain my failed aspiration, I could always blame the lack of scripts. Unfortunately for me, I don’t buy that excuse. Instead I accepted very early on that I’d need to write the scripts myself. So there lies my path. Write the script. Direct the film.
I still believe in my dream, but being in my late-thirties only serves to heighten the pressure I already feel. To be honest, I’ve never doubted myself. Until the last six months that is. I love a good saying. I live by them in many ways. “It’s good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end.” That’s a favourite of mine. Recently I heard another one: “Life is what happens while you’re busy making plans.”
Not that I’m complaining. Or am I? Depends on your position, I suppose.
I have always held firm to the belief that we are all responsible for our own destiny. I am where I am today because of my own efforts – both concerted and lacking. Richard Bach’s book Illusions had a profound effect on me. I don’t remember much of it now – I read it when I was fifteen – but it impacted on me enough for me to read it three times in two days. It’s lasting ideology on me? That we are all free to be whatever we want to be. Sounds simple, I know. I am in my late thirties. I know the generation before me would not have heard that ideology espoused too often.
The generations ahead of my own had jobs, not careers. They were not taught, “the world is your oyster”. They’d never heard the phrase “Carpe Diem”. It’s a legacy that has been passed onto us. We, and future generations, are the beneficiaries of their travails. Again though, if only it were that simple.
Sit a child down in front of two or three balls, and they’ll pick one. Sit them down in front of twenty or thirty, and they’ll pause before reaching for one, as if unsure of which is the “right” one. They might even change their mind after picking one. I sometimes wonder if I would have preferred someone to say to me when finishing school - “tradesman, accountant, sales… pick one.”
The problem is, when we accept that the choice is ours and ours alone, we have to take full responsibility for our choices. It’s a double-edged sword. The successes are there to savour, and how sweet they are. But the negatives are a truly bitter pill to swallow.
All of which leads me where?
I am one who champions the importance of chasing the dream. I believe every person on this planet harbours a dream for himself or herself. It doesn’t need to be a socially just dream. It doesn’t need to involve world peace. Typically it might involve a career. Or it might be extra-curricular. Learn to paint. Speak a different language. Play the saxophone in a jazz club. Pick one.
The challenge comes the moment we do pick one, because in that moment there is no one else to blame but ourselves if we don’t achieve that dream. And for that reason alone, I think people tend to avoid following that inner voice. The fear consumes them.
My dream is career-based. I want to Direct feature films. Not commercials. Not music videos. Feature films. Like a thousand other people out there. And you can’t have a film without a script. You can’t Direct without a script. I need a script. Someone get me a script. If I wanted to point the finger of blame somewhere to explain my failed aspiration, I could always blame the lack of scripts. Unfortunately for me, I don’t buy that excuse. Instead I accepted very early on that I’d need to write the scripts myself. So there lies my path. Write the script. Direct the film.
I still believe in my dream, but being in my late-thirties only serves to heighten the pressure I already feel. To be honest, I’ve never doubted myself. Until the last six months that is. I love a good saying. I live by them in many ways. “It’s good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end.” That’s a favourite of mine. Recently I heard another one: “Life is what happens while you’re busy making plans.”
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