The night the world changed... Part 1
The cool handle of the gun felt unnatural in the palm of my hand. I willed my fingers to close around it, making sure my index finger stayed off the trigger. Feeling the sweat start to rise, I gripped tighter, imagining the sound of it hitting the tiled floor if it slipped. The bullet was like an icicle on my skin as I held it between my fingers and examined the copper shine, the perfect manufacture of it.
It.
Something that could be easily dismissed but which had the ease to kill.
Weaving lines networked across the chipped, marble-topped table, resembling an innocent childs' scribbles. In the trees the birds twittered, although their song was drowned out by a voice uttering warnings i cared not to hear. It was a quiet voice, strong and steady, but one in which you could tell the words stumbled out from between the invisible lips. This was a conversation we should not have been having.
'If anything happens in this house you need to be able to protect us. You know where the gun is kept, now you need to learn how to use it. You don`t know what people are going to do. You shoot where it hurts.
You shoot to kill.'
The dusk tainted the breeze which swirled through the yard and carried those words to my ears. It smelled earthy after the rain. The sun was slowly sinking behind the skeletal trees, once beautiful, now transformed into monsters, demons lurking. It seemed the world had changed suddenly. In that short moment every tiny drop of innocense that had flowed through my veins floated off on the whispers of the wind. Now the world knew I had joined it.
I looked at the table top again. It was a vast expanse of lines, white on black, like every drawing I had ever created was joined together to make that giant one. However, they had forgotten a child had drawn it. They had forgotten to use the colours, for my child-like mind had previously painted with every colour of the rainbow.
I kept quiet the whole conversation, not able to look into those trusting eyes, just nodding gently now and again and absorbing everything like a sponge. The weight of the weapon in my hand felt like lead - it`s cold touch lingering, stained to my skin. It would be a few years until I realised the importance of that lesson, the reason behind why I needed to know the world was changing and I would need, yet again, to adjust the eyes from which I saw it.
It.
Something that could be easily dismissed but which had the ease to kill.
Weaving lines networked across the chipped, marble-topped table, resembling an innocent childs' scribbles. In the trees the birds twittered, although their song was drowned out by a voice uttering warnings i cared not to hear. It was a quiet voice, strong and steady, but one in which you could tell the words stumbled out from between the invisible lips. This was a conversation we should not have been having.
'If anything happens in this house you need to be able to protect us. You know where the gun is kept, now you need to learn how to use it. You don`t know what people are going to do. You shoot where it hurts.
You shoot to kill.'
The dusk tainted the breeze which swirled through the yard and carried those words to my ears. It smelled earthy after the rain. The sun was slowly sinking behind the skeletal trees, once beautiful, now transformed into monsters, demons lurking. It seemed the world had changed suddenly. In that short moment every tiny drop of innocense that had flowed through my veins floated off on the whispers of the wind. Now the world knew I had joined it.
I looked at the table top again. It was a vast expanse of lines, white on black, like every drawing I had ever created was joined together to make that giant one. However, they had forgotten a child had drawn it. They had forgotten to use the colours, for my child-like mind had previously painted with every colour of the rainbow.
I kept quiet the whole conversation, not able to look into those trusting eyes, just nodding gently now and again and absorbing everything like a sponge. The weight of the weapon in my hand felt like lead - it`s cold touch lingering, stained to my skin. It would be a few years until I realised the importance of that lesson, the reason behind why I needed to know the world was changing and I would need, yet again, to adjust the eyes from which I saw it.
Mum's Word
I'm assuming this is you. How old were you?
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Postmodern Critic
Daily Inspirations
Relativity Watch
Padsoc
unlucky_ fishermen.com
Angling Fish
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Movies and Life
Tracy
Kalikapsychosis
This was so well written and savagely beautiful....I especially liked this....
I was all too keen to throw that innocence away. After being sheltered for so long and locked behind the church walls I was desperate to get DIRTY. I believed Id never know lifes true secrets if I stayed pure.
Turns out I was right, but now it seems such a waste to get clean. Im only going to dirty myself again.
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Welcome back - always good to see you. I hope you had a great break over the Christmas period,
Yes indeed this was I - this would have been when I was about 16 or 17. Things were just starting to go to pot in the country and we were needing to learn to defend ourselves. Scary times
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Thanks for such great feedback. I still remember that table top as if I had only seen it yesterday. Many a great, and in this case scary, conversation took place around that table. I wonder whatever happened to it.
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Many, many thanks for such encouragement. My muse is yet to come back from holiday so I am struggling to find anything to post and came across this the other night so decided to do some editing and rewriting.
Thanks again for such positive feedback
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I hope they weren`t left too raw. I find writing about this experience helps to make it a little less painful each time I do so, although it`s always the night time when everything is dark and most of the world is asleep that the memories come flooding back. No matter how hot and humid it is those blankets get piled on right up to the nose... security comes in very strange forms!
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
It was certainly an interesting time. I listen now to stories of others who went through so much worse and wonder how they have coped with their various experiences. Amazing what the human mind can conjure up.
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Yes, frrom that day the world seemed to take on a much more sinister appearance, things were tainted for quite some time. It is only now that I am starting to go back to seeing the world through child-like eyes once again.
I find people who live in 'safe' places tend to see the world through these eyes - so much is taken for granted when you don`t have to constantly worry about your personal safety.
Ash
Postmodern Critic
Daily Inspirations
Relativity Watch
Padsoc
Wow, it moves me all the more that this piece was based on personal experience...
Speaking of things autobiographical, I'm working on making what I sent you (and more) part of a short story, so when I'm finished I'll send you the whole thing... it may take quite some time, though!
I hope to blur the lines between fiction and no-fiction through this piece, and it should be quite fun...
How is your own writing going?
Celebrity Obsession
Wow, brilliant writing. So tense. I can't imagine what it must be like to have to learn to use a weapon because you might need to defend yourself - not just for the heck of it - but because you need to.
Kylie
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Wonderful writing. Is seeping in my soul .... great post!
Mis
Movies and Life
I think it is amazing how much you've been through and are able to write about it. I won't forget this story, it'll stay with me for a long time.
Best wishes,
Tracy
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Yep, it seems like something from another lifetime now. It`s not really anything either of us ponder on, it`s just one of those things that happened. We were very lucky because it could have been a lot worse.
I`m excited to hear about your writing and only too happy to have a read when you are finished. I enjoyed your previous send, look forward to seeing it between some covers on a bookshelf one day in the future!
ech my own writing is on a slump at the moment. I`m trying to keep it going but rubbish just ends up on the page. I have formulated a story but it just doesn`t want to come out right... I need to find a better writing place and then all will be well!
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I think that`s why it has stuck in my head because there was one clear message in there - when you use it, you use it to kill.
I`m just glad to be rid of all that nonsense. You can tell someone from Africa a MILE away. When a car backfires or something they are the ones to dive straight for the floor!
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Why thank you... I`m flattered!
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
When I finally learn to write in a professional manner I would love to gather stories from people who have come from far and wide and put them out there for the world to see. I mean in comparison the incidents I have been through are not really that big a deal, they are mere hiccups when you consider what else was going on - those are the stories I think should be heard.
If you can see where a person is coming from I believe that it promotes a healthier and more understandable vibe in a community and allows people to gel better - that`s just my own belief though.
Thanks for your well wishes and for reading.
Ash
Movies and Life
I really agree:
What a difference it would make to the world if others thought similarly and with less judgements and criticisms.
My first thought when I read your comment, was that you already write professionally!! I think that is a great idea for a book/story...I think you would have many readers.
Trace
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Yeah - just my thoughts - but I find the world too read to lock themselves away and judge from behind the safety of their ten foot wall, rather than actually listen and understand.
Thanks Tracy - I wish I did write professionally - yay! The goal for the future though... if I could just find the time to get going with it
Ash
What's Your Story?
So You're Getting Married
It's always such a release to put experiences down on paper (or on screen). Cathartic.
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Good to see you
Yes it`s good to let it all out hey!
Thank you for reading.
Ash