The Hell of Getting Old
July 3rd 2009 02:59
I have learned so much in the last sixty-seven years. I know so much more and could do things so much better than when I was young. I have learned to enjoy life and not take it for granted. My only problem is, I can't seem to convince my decrepit body that I can do things so much better or enjoy them more.
I love to garden, and I'm good at it. It's just difficult to do when your knees won't bend, or when you get down, it's a struggle to get back on your feet. That does have the tendancy to take the fun out of it.
And the sun. I used to stay out in the sun most of the day and come in looking like a lobster, but still feeling good. Now, I can walk out into the sun and in ten minutes, I've got to get back to the air-conditioning or be flat on my face.
Now, I know I haven't really got a lot to complain about. My body still works, I can use both arms and legs, I still have my hearing and my sight; and the most important thing, I think I still have my mind.
I envy the youngsters of today when I see how they can master the computer, Internet, Ipods, Smart Phones and a never ending list of technology. We never had television until I was ten years old, but a computer? It's still magic to me. I got my first computer when the Commodore 20 came out and loved it. I'm sure a few of you remember the limitations for the Commodore, but I was enchanted!
I'm still very tech challanged, but I don't do too bad for an old lady. I have always managed to teach myself to do anything I made up my mind I wanted to do.
Compared to the first computer---there is no compariso!. I have a little laptop with a lighted keyboard and if I want to turn the lights out and go to bed and write, I can do so. It's amazing.
I decided seven months ago, I wanted to write. Having never even written a letter that was interesting enough to read, it was a challange. In the first month, I sat at my computer and wrote two complete novels. I'm still editing.
Then I found a couple of writing sites. Since then, I've really been hooked.
I can't complain too much about old age, because I can always find something entertaining to do. I have done about everything in my life. I married fifty years ago, have three children, four grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.
I have tried about every hobby in the world. I worked as a florist for twenty-seven years, ran a ceramic shop, spent a few years fasinated by Lapidary. I cut and polished rocks, made cabochons and jewelry. I've bred and raised Yorkies and they still have a hold on my heart.
Now, it's totally writing. I even started a blog last week. My first one.I don't know if anyone out there is interested in anything I have to say---more or less just thinking out loud and musing over all the good, bad and horrible experiences in my life. I have only one real fear in my life right now. The fear that I shall soon be alone after fifty years.
I know it is inevitable, but something I am not ready for. My husband is in the hospital now and ready to give up. Maybe it is this way, because I can survive. The thought of him trying to do all the things I have done through our lifes is terrifying. He has left too much of life up to me, and now does not seem to be able to grow with the times. He could always take a tractor or bulldozer apart and put it back together and it would run perfectly. I cannot teach him how to push the right button on the remote control. He doesn't care to know what we owe, or who we owe. Who would pay the bills if he were left behind? I regret taking over for all these years and not forcing him to share the knowledge of everyday responsibilities. It's not that he's isn't a brilliant man, he just didn't think it was necessary, as long as he contributed his money and his labor and kept everything repaired and the yard groomed and the vehicles running, for him to be bothered with writing checks, knowing when insurance is due or shopping for groceries.
I wonder how many other long term couples make this mistake.
With years, come wisdom, but the problem is, it's too late to use most of that wisdom. There are so many things I would do differently with my life, if you could just have do-overs.
I have learned to do so many different things that I will never get bored. I no longer have the strength to do the work I used to outside, but I have my crafts and my computer. I still have my paints and I would still like to learn more about photography some year.
My husband never developed any hobbies. Hard work has always been his hobby and I am really concerned what he will do now that he can no longer cut wood, trim brush, move rocks, work on vehicles or even swing the weedeater. I have tryed for years to get him to take up a hobby that wouldn't be so tiring, but he's a man. He's stubborn. The only thing he ever really did for fun is fish, and I can't even get him interested in that anymore.
I realize I'm just rambling and that this is probably of no interest to anyone but me, but if I could just make one of you younger readers realize that you must do things while you are still able. Don't wait until you're old to travel. See everything you can now. Try everything. Don't limit yourselves. Everything I have ever done is self taught, from the computer to painting to rock polishing. I'm not at strong or as limber as I used to be, but there are still so many things I want to try while I'm still here.
You have to find something to occupy your minds when you are older, besides eating and watching television. I still don't like to turn off my computer to go to bed. There are not enough hours in the day to do all I would like to do and am still able to do.
Since I have started writing, no one who reads my stories think, that's pretty good for an old woman. They actually enjoy my stories, even the young readers.
As Obama says: "Yes, we can." But only if you make the effort to stay active and keep your mind alert and never stop learning and never stop dreaming.
Okay, that's enough for now. Just take it from this old woman, it's up to you whether you stay productive into old age, or sit around feeling sorry for yourself for the things you can no longer do. There is always something you could enjoy doing.
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