Dave's sought to share with me this butch workout, yet I've said, "Never!"
No sporting care to be with such a lout, all ties to sever
In days gone past, I drank with Dave and felt his friendship solid
But ways deemed nasty, frankly grave, have spelt an end so squalid
This slimy, dreadful, grubby rat has took, through gall, my throne
His crime, to spread the rubbish that this book is all his own
He's loudly faking stories, citing lines that he employed
And proudly taking glories, rightly mine to be enjoyed!
Though roused to storm then cry and curse I should, in note, admit
It's lousy from to lie in verse - my buddy wrote a bit
But I slaved most with greater flair, deserving rampant praise
To sly Dave's boast relate no care, such nerve this scamp displays
But then, perhaps, it's hardly right to call old Dave a liar
Not when the chap's been scarred in sight through fall so grave and dire
That mad descent, to draw a thudding, freakish burst of pain
One sad event my story could not seek, through verse, to feign
This dasher did shove feet downstairs, in tripping bout to fly
To crash amid such heated cares, soon ripping out an eye
He'd just been up to wash and scrub when calling at my place
In lust to sup then nosh his grub had fallen flat on face
I've spared a blow from trusting Dave, my state so sore with sorrow
Though scared, I know I must be brave, not waiting for the morrow
Through drinking rum I'd dropped my key, to kiss the stairway bend
So blinking dumb, not stopped to see how this affair may end!
Dave's foot slipped free from way up high, each thud to smash and hurt
That cutting key in play on eye, one bloody gash to spurt
The pus he shed, though gross, was slight, yet grave and great was pain
And thus it led to loss of sight, my raving mate insane!
Depressed, I've wallowed in mistake, by haunting crime so wrecked
Unrest has followed, sin to snake through taunting time, unchecked
It's plain the day is here for my wrong to be made known
The strain is way too sheer, sore and strong for me alone
I trust, through my confessed disgrace, won't rise depraved attack
Disgust, like fire, pressed to face - my eyes, through Dave, turned black
The chaps had an upsetting time, his sight, in part, destroyed
Perhaps I can forget his crime, with lightened heart enjoyed!
Let good Dave seize the plaudits, reaping fame for verses written
I could, with ease, afford it, sweeping shame to curse for Britain
Thus may he gloat in glory, proud of records filled with rum
To say, "I wrote each story!" loud, through decades, thrilled, to come