The Latest Australian Stimulus Package
April 16th 2009 00:18
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. I didn't vote for you, but I had such high hopes... namely that you weren't so clueless as to turn our economy into a 'shitstorm' (as you would put it). But alas, I my hopes were dashed.
Where to start with the problems with directly paying people money...
1. New Zealand.
That's right, our sheep-shagging neighbours to the east. Do you know what a large number of my friends are doing with your money? They are taking it straight over to New Zealand for a snowboarding holiday. Just to fuck you over a little more, airlines are now offering discounted flights to everywhere (especially New Zealand). That's right Kevin, your special little bundle of money is going straight outside the country to help ease the woes of everywhere else.
2. Thailand.
Everyone remember the last time there was political trouble in Thailand? When they blockaded the airport and everyone got stuck there? Do we remember the reason why there was unrest? Let me jog your memory. It is because they were protesting against vote-buying (basically).
That's all this is, Kevin. You want everyone to like you, and what better way to gain some pseudo-popularity than by giving everyone money. Who cares if it's a terrible idea and awful for the economy.... they'll love 'ya, Kevin, and that's what matters, right?
3. Exclusion.
This one pisses me off the most. I mean... it's just fucking cruel. I'd heard about it before, but I didn't believe it could possibly be true, because it's so bizarre.
The poorest people in the country do not pay any tax. Take my girlfriend for instance. She doesn't work much because she's a full time student, paid a small amount of tax last year, and got it all back in the tax return. Because of that, she gets no money from our good buddy Kevin.
Wait, What? Poor people (who need the money most) are excluded?
Let me just repeat that for you folks, just so I'm sure it has sunk in. By definition, you must have a tax deficit in order to get the money. That means the poorest people in the country (like uni students who barely have enough to get by) don't get the cash.
Oops, Kevin! Was that your stupid idea? Don't you want to be buddies with the poorest people? Wanker.
4. Mortgages.
Do you know what the majority of people are going to do with this money, Kev? They are going to save it, or put it into the mortgage. No extra jobs... No multiplier effect (for you economics nerds)... no nothing. All that you're left with is a terrible idea and a $10bn debt. Way to go, moron.
I could go on, but this is making me too angry. I got the money, and I still think it was just a terrible, terrible idea. Way to go, buddy.
Where to start with the problems with directly paying people money...
1. New Zealand.
That's right, our sheep-shagging neighbours to the east. Do you know what a large number of my friends are doing with your money? They are taking it straight over to New Zealand for a snowboarding holiday. Just to fuck you over a little more, airlines are now offering discounted flights to everywhere (especially New Zealand). That's right Kevin, your special little bundle of money is going straight outside the country to help ease the woes of everywhere else.
2. Thailand.
Everyone remember the last time there was political trouble in Thailand? When they blockaded the airport and everyone got stuck there? Do we remember the reason why there was unrest? Let me jog your memory. It is because they were protesting against vote-buying (basically).
That's all this is, Kevin. You want everyone to like you, and what better way to gain some pseudo-popularity than by giving everyone money. Who cares if it's a terrible idea and awful for the economy.... they'll love 'ya, Kevin, and that's what matters, right?
3. Exclusion.
This one pisses me off the most. I mean... it's just fucking cruel. I'd heard about it before, but I didn't believe it could possibly be true, because it's so bizarre.
The poorest people in the country do not pay any tax. Take my girlfriend for instance. She doesn't work much because she's a full time student, paid a small amount of tax last year, and got it all back in the tax return. Because of that, she gets no money from our good buddy Kevin.
Wait, What? Poor people (who need the money most) are excluded?
Let me just repeat that for you folks, just so I'm sure it has sunk in. By definition, you must have a tax deficit in order to get the money. That means the poorest people in the country (like uni students who barely have enough to get by) don't get the cash.
Oops, Kevin! Was that your stupid idea? Don't you want to be buddies with the poorest people? Wanker.
4. Mortgages.
Do you know what the majority of people are going to do with this money, Kev? They are going to save it, or put it into the mortgage. No extra jobs... No multiplier effect (for you economics nerds)... no nothing. All that you're left with is a terrible idea and a $10bn debt. Way to go, moron.
I could go on, but this is making me too angry. I got the money, and I still think it was just a terrible, terrible idea. Way to go, buddy.
| 87 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
subscribe to this blog