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Playing in a Band is like having Sex

Ok! So now that I have grabbed your attention from the title, lets talk about it.

In previous texts, we have already noted that Bands can be as intimate and troubling as a marriage. Things can get even crazier when you throw in the fact that there are 3 to 5 of you in the band, where a marriage only concerns two people.

Now, when you think about it, bands have to put up with each others bad habits, work around each others significant others, argue, squabble, fight, and celebrate with each other.

Why would anyone person want to hole themselves in a room with 2 or more people and put up with all that? They do it for that juicy honey, that desire they feel deep inside, that one intimate moment where they can find release....


Back up now! I'm not talking about 'sex', just sex as a metaphor. Musicians get together with other musicians so that they can make music with each other. Just as a man or women seeks out the other gender to make a baby with. Or in a more modern sense, they would seek a release or relief from consumating physical love with another person.

When you think about it, the sex metaphor can be even more easily understood when you give playing music with other people, the same context as dancing or making love to another person. Each individual person has to find that right rhythm, that special timing and that smart method to get desired results.

If anyones 'rhythm' is off, or they are going up when everyone else is thrusting down, it becomes sloppy, messy and usually causes hystarical laughing for a few ackward moments.

Likewise, if one person isn't willing to give in to someone else once in a while, it can feel like they are getting all the climax, and someone will complain about the 'equality' of the situation.


Bands are so much like a relationship, and metaphor of sex being involved is so true, that there is already a common thing know as cheating on your band...

Now you tell me this! If there is not such intimate things happening that give the notion that making music could be related to rockin the cradle, then how is it that someone could 'cheat' on their band? It wouldn't exsist if each musician in their own right didn't feel emotionally and physically connected to their band mates. Almost 'dependent' on them for the need to continue to make music.

(For those of you who have never 'cheated' or been 'cheated' on, and may not understand the expression. It simply means that one or more of your band members are also playing in 1 or more other bands. They don't leave their whole committment or loyalty to the band they are in with you.)

I think my favorite expression used here and there in the music scene, is "Band Whore." Don't let it mislead you, its not bound by gender. Men and Women alike can be considered a band whore. The only qualification is being part of 4 or more bands at one time. The shear idea of playing around with that many different musicians is almost gross in a way, and must be tiring. The derogatory name is usually used after a collision has happened and the 'band whore' in question has to choose one band over the other, for what ever reason.


So! Now that you have put your mind in the gutter, go out and share this interesting opinion as if it were your own, and explore the interworkings of Your average rock band...

Just make sure to carry some protection
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Quality = Success

There is a very important subject that I would at least like to touch on while I have these blogs going.

As an entreprenuer, there is at least one thing we all have in common. We want respect and recognition and appreciation.

I serious, there is not a person alive who would dream of becoming an entreprenuer for one reason or another, who didn't deep down just want to be respected and appreciated.

Inside that one commonality, we are connected with the rest of the world, and in particular, the business world.

The title of the blog, Equality = Success is something I wanted to expand apon and share will all my valuable readers.

Throughout the dawn of the United States, there has been war after war, and change after change made to create equality for all man and woman kind. Race, Origin and Creed have all been through out the proverbial window to make room for the joint success of all people.

It is very important to remember this as you go through your years. Its important, because inside the history of it all, you can see the way to success through its path.

One of my greatest virtues as an entreprenuer, is that there is not a person above or below me, that I wouldn't respect or reject.

To clarify a little bit, what I mean, is that I don't view anyone as a superior to me, or inferior to me. Whether than means you are twice my age with mounds of experience in your field and adventures, or you are young and green to the universe. Whether you have lots of money and material ganes, or only a few in your possession, I look at everyone as equal to me.

That is because I find that in this world, you get much for value out of your business interactions if you treat everyone with the same happy smile, helpful attitude and sincere appreciation.

I have had the great opportunity to work with some of the most successful, and some of the most prospective business men and women in seattle, and I have found that the best tool I have used in keeping them in contact and satisfied with my business, is by treating them as equals and friends.

I have also recieved some of the most unique comments and statements from those who would considerably be superior to me in a more literal sense. Through time and experience, and/or financial backing, they find it odd that I do fear them or automatically submiss myself to them. However odd they find it, they have told me that it has gained the utmost respect from them, and I am glad to have found a way to connect with everyone. As a human being, and not just another business contact.

There will be plenty of business contacts that you can make, and the numbers are limitless. If you want to keep and continue to profit from other companies, entreprenuers and contacts, it is very important to remember to treat everyone equaliy.

With express respect, appreciation and sincere interest in what they do, what they desire and where they have come from.

Everyone has unique experiences, and there is not a person in this world that you would be able to learn something from. Whether they are 3 years old, or 99 years old, everyone has a unique talent, skill or bit of imformation that you can learn from, use and appreciate.

You can burn bridges by treating someone who is symbolicly superior to you by treating them with too much unearned respect and admiration. I know it seems backwards, and I don't want to express that people do not like to be admired, but when you take a submissive tone to anyone, they view you as someone who is 'under' them and not Equal to them.

In business, they best thing you can ever hope for is to earn a status of 'equality' with your other business associates. Being treated as a friend and business companion is much more valuable than any other wealth in the world, and if you are not just out to put money in your pocket, you will find much more financial backing then you need.

The same odd phenomenon can be seen if you treat those who are proverbiallly beneath you with disrespect or patranizing behavior that many top business professionals use.

As an entrepenuer, you never want to rule anyone out as a person who could be valuable to spend time with. Even if they are young, and seemly inexperienced, or you don't necessarily feel they could benefit you, take the time to get to know them before you pass your final judgement. Even if they still do not seem like a good business fit, or friendship, they may still have something to offer you that you have not seen yet! They might also run into something in the future that would greatly benefit you, and they have a memory of your sincere appreciate and respect, they will be sure not to forget about it, and will want to return the favor when they can.

On your way up that ladder, you don't want to forget to tread light around the people that are there, instead of stepping on them on your way up. This will essentially create a strong network available to you when you need it, and that is part of what makes a successful entreprenuer.
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Divorcing the Band

One of the hardest times in any bands career, is the time when one of the band members decides to leave the group. It is amazing to think that something that started out as simply as a few friends getting together to play and enjoy some music, turned into a huge fiasco of feelings, ideas and connections.

Seriously, if you have been in the game for more than a few years, than you have probably found yourself in this situation.

You have been with your band for some time now, and it has become apparent to you that either you are growing in a different direction than the band, or there are so more personal issues that are effecting the teamwork that is vital to the survival of your band.

What is ironic, is that it is usually a more personal problem than it is a problem about the music.

Three people show up on time, and one is always late. 2 people prefer to play one style of music, while 3 others like another style. One person likes to have control over the bands activities, and while two others are ok with that, one other doesn't like it.

It is complex and interesting to mull over if you ever get the chance.

When it comes down to the decision of leaving or staying with the band, it gets to be so bad, that is is more like 'Divorcing' the band.

Hurt feelings, mind games, ups, downs and everything in between.

Who gets to keep the rights to which songs, should the leaving member get credit on songs that stay with the band? Is there any equipment that was bought or soley owned by the leaving member?

Property splits, custody over friends time, and all sort of fight tend to insue over the time it takes for someone to divorce themselves from their band.

It is almost comic to hear the amount of reasons why someone leaves a band, or is pushed out of a band, but I can find nothing so close as to relate it to as a divorce.

What makes the theory a bit more comical, is that it would mean that you would have to be 'Married' to your band in order to be Divorced from it.

It must be true, because when you are in a band, they want to know if you have played or jammed with any other bands, if you are 'exclusive' with this band, or if there are any relationships that would get in the way of being in the band.

I have even found myself using the term 'Band Slut' on occassion when running into a musician who is in more then 2 bands. They have no real connections to the bands, but still play and join in on the shows and occassions with each band. There is nothing wrong with doing this, but it is still frowned upon by any band, and if you end up as a 'Band Slut', even if you are a really great person and musician, no one will take your seriously.

It becomes a relationship as bad as any other. Whats the difference? Generally, there is no sex involved. Unless your band has those strange connections.... In that case I'm not sure if theirs any help for you..

Take the time to think about how your band is inter-related.

Do you remember a time when you tried to divorce yourself from a band, or were pushed out of it? Or maybe you were part of a band that had a member leave or divorce themselves from it.

Do you remember the feelings and emotions your felt, or the thoughts that went through your head? They must have felt slightly strange to you, as you usually only have such feeling with someone you are intimate with.
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Unique Connections

Have you ever sat and thought about the connections that are made between each instrument and the individuals holding them? It is very complicated when you truly think about it, but it is part of what makes a band so great.

You have 4 instruments: Rhythm Guitar, Lead Guitar, Bass Guitar and Drums


[ Click here to read more ]
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The 4 Member Family

If you go back through history and look at most bands these days, you will notice that the most productive and successful bands tend to have four members. They will cover the rhythm section with Bass and Rhythm Guitar, have a Lead Guitar and Drummer.

Now, you will also notice plenty of bands with 3 or 5 players, but I think you will find that 4 is the golden number here. It gives the music a much fuller sound, and creates a better system between the band members


[ Click here to read more ]
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Welcome to My Post!

As a musicians liaison, I have had plenty of time to watch what works with most bands and what doesn't.

I will be descusing some of the dimensions and set ups that you will see in the average rock band and why it works for some, or why is doesn't work for others.

[ Click here to read more ]
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