Megan KennedyThe 'hugshake'
July 17th 2008 05:55
Are we hugging or shaking or what? Someone tell me what the deal is here please!
I'm a pretty awkward person when I want to be but a thing that gets me the most is awkward greetings. Do I hug, do I shake, do I give you kiss, high five? No idea.
The awkwardness that transpires when you run into people you sort of know and haven't seen for a while is quite possible the worst of the lot. You both recognise each other so you have to say hi. Obviously the conversation is a little halting and weird, you don't know what to say to each other. HUG or HANDSHAKE? I know other people suffer from this same greeting-panic, because I inevitably end up doing the awkward half-handshake half-hug dance. aka the hugshake.
It is strange to just stand there and just say Hi! It's like there's this urge to engage in some kind of physical greeting. High five? Low five? Pat on the back?
A guy friend of mine tells me there is an unspoken rule that when guys meet each other it is met with a firm handshake and fairly solid eye contact. It is a respect thing, he says.
Then there are those people who once were hug friends but has it been too long now? Are we still on hug terms or just kiss on cheek and semi hug? Do I go in all the way and then do I long hug? Or the casual kisses on the cheek. Which isn't really kissing anyway. It's more like cheek to cheek rubbing with kissing noises thrown in.
What's the time-frame/friend status that makes hugging ok? I have an issue with the hugshake. I hate it when my hug advances are met with an extended hand... and I hate when my hand ends up mushed into someone's stomach, my face pressed into an armpit.
This uneasiness and not knowing how to approach the hello situation more often then not turns a little messy. You go in for the hug, they go in for the kiss and then you realise they're going in for the kiss so you pull back and try to rectify the situation but the other person is thinking the exact same thing and tries to make up for it. The conversation is then just bound for disaster and awkwardness and what was once a good friendship has just been ruined by a bit of time apart and a horrendously awkward greeting.
I've found that if you laugh it off or acknowledge the awkwardness it makes it a little better. Emphasis on the little. ..
Then comes the are we kissing on the cheek. I saw you five minutes ago but now I'm giving people your with a casual kiss on the cheek, do I give you one? If I don't does it look like I don't want a bar of you? Probably so just take it.
Eye contact. I'm terrible at it. If you really want me to leave you alone, keep up the solid eye contact when we're having a conversation and I won't be around for too much longer. It makes me ridiculously nervous and I semi freak out and will quickly skanter off. Do I shake when I leave, do I hug goodbye or do I slap you and run off?
Should somebody maybe write a handbook about this crap and forward to me. Because clearly I'm not coping..
It's science.
I'm a pretty awkward person when I want to be but a thing that gets me the most is awkward greetings. Do I hug, do I shake, do I give you kiss, high five? No idea.
The awkwardness that transpires when you run into people you sort of know and haven't seen for a while is quite possible the worst of the lot. You both recognise each other so you have to say hi. Obviously the conversation is a little halting and weird, you don't know what to say to each other. HUG or HANDSHAKE? I know other people suffer from this same greeting-panic, because I inevitably end up doing the awkward half-handshake half-hug dance. aka the hugshake.
A guy friend of mine tells me there is an unspoken rule that when guys meet each other it is met with a firm handshake and fairly solid eye contact. It is a respect thing, he says.
Then there are those people who once were hug friends but has it been too long now? Are we still on hug terms or just kiss on cheek and semi hug? Do I go in all the way and then do I long hug? Or the casual kisses on the cheek. Which isn't really kissing anyway. It's more like cheek to cheek rubbing with kissing noises thrown in.
What's the time-frame/friend status that makes hugging ok? I have an issue with the hugshake. I hate it when my hug advances are met with an extended hand... and I hate when my hand ends up mushed into someone's stomach, my face pressed into an armpit.
This uneasiness and not knowing how to approach the hello situation more often then not turns a little messy. You go in for the hug, they go in for the kiss and then you realise they're going in for the kiss so you pull back and try to rectify the situation but the other person is thinking the exact same thing and tries to make up for it. The conversation is then just bound for disaster and awkwardness and what was once a good friendship has just been ruined by a bit of time apart and a horrendously awkward greeting.
Then comes the are we kissing on the cheek. I saw you five minutes ago but now I'm giving people your with a casual kiss on the cheek, do I give you one? If I don't does it look like I don't want a bar of you? Probably so just take it.
Eye contact. I'm terrible at it. If you really want me to leave you alone, keep up the solid eye contact when we're having a conversation and I won't be around for too much longer. It makes me ridiculously nervous and I semi freak out and will quickly skanter off. Do I shake when I leave, do I hug goodbye or do I slap you and run off?
Should somebody maybe write a handbook about this crap and forward to me. Because clearly I'm not coping..
arh which way is she going...left, right, no no left.
It's science.
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