The Hatter

Melbourne, Victoria, AUSTRALIA


Joined July 18th 2007

Number of Posts:
6

Number of Comments:
14

Karma:
6



We're all mad here....

About Me
Well, what can I say?

I lurk in the city of Melbourne, I never leave home without my notebook and pen, and there is just a dash of blood in my caffeine stream!

I've worked as a "insert your favorite term for coffee maker here" for almost my entire working life, and love all things coffee (except maybe chocolate covered coffee beans, I'm yet to try them)

But above all else I'm a writer, and love writing, so I thought hey, why not mix my two top loves in life and combine them?

Haven't regretted it since!

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The Hatter's Blogs

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Recent Posts

Tre Gusi Cafe

August 2nd 2007 11:05
Tre Gusti Café

237 Whitehorse Road
Balwyn, Melbourne.
Attendants: The Hatter (Writer) The Dormouse



Overview:
Having not long ago moved house, over to the eastern suburbs, I've had some time to scout around for some new places to go to get me fix of sweet vitamin Caffeine, and this was the first of such places. Located on the ever long and jammed whitehorse road, It is one of many café's in the area, but being closest to home, stop number one.
In tow this time not only did I have my very best friend Dormouse with me in case I missed something he might see, and a second opinion to bounce my thoughts off while I jot in my little book, but also his other half. Seeing as they were coming to view my new abode, a café lunch seemed appropriate.
Tre Gusti, even from the outside, looks like it cost a fortune to decorate. Once inside and in a little (deserted, unlike the full to the brim front area near the coffee machine) room with low tables and just as low soft cushy stools, was all doubt removed. Some of that furniture, especially the mirrors, looked like antiques. It was certainly a converted house, possibly with a house still upstairs and out back out of customer view, tastefully decorated and comfortable. It looked like a worthwhile lunch would soon be upon us.

Points of interest
Ambient Italian (Also possibly Greek, I'm not a language expert) Music
Hop step and not quite a jump from Balwyn Cinema
All food we could see was home made


Service
To be honest the service was a tad generic, a smile at the door, then you were turned away from in favor of whoever was paying up there bill. Even though we tried to strike up some banter with out “waiter” It didn't quite seem to work Firstly I thought he just wasn't the chatting type, but after hearing a little of his think European accent when he seated us, I began to ponder weather he even knew what we were going on about!

It carried over to the Waitress that served us later on, She engaged in some pleasantry just long enough to tell us what we wanted wasn't in stock, then it was button lipped again until pay time.

Yes I know it sounds a bit rude, that not everybody is a people person or an avid talker, but it can only take that tiniest bit of effort, I've worked in the exact same industry for a while now and I always took time to strike up a conversation with customers, no matter how small, I just always thought it was good customer relations.


Food and Beverage
We were not particularly hungry that day, having had a normal lunch not to long ago, so we chose small desert items to satisfy that never ending craving for sugar and sweetness!
First up was a Chocolate Mousse, The tiny portion was quite disappointing, until we tasted it. The mousse was extremely rich which explained the tiny portion. Not much chance to sample it further though I'm afraid, between three people it wasn't around long!
Apparently the crumble was also almost unbearably sweet, with moist fresh pastry. None of us were complaining but not everybody has a sweet tooth the size of a small hippo. Toning down the sugar content may not hurt, for those wanting a more subtle desert.
The Hot Chocolate though, was something else entirely! For one thing it had its own little menu, listing all these weird and wonderful flavors. Soon I realized that only the ones with a tick next to them were in stock, Which left four, so thats what we ordered. I ordered a mint chocolate, Dormouse a white chocolate, and his other half a hazelnut. The waitress had to politely explain they were out of that flavor, and after much pouting it was settled that the order would be changed to a traditional hot chocolate.
It was anything but traditional. Firstly it was served to us in the most curious mugs, they looked like any other cappuccino mug, if a little deeper, bar one difference. From lip to saucer they were crafted completely from glass. It was a lovely affect and the smell from the mugs was intoxicating. So we all raised a glass and went to drink, only problem was, it was as thick as any mousse. I kid you not! As delicious and flavorful as this “hot chocolate” was, it was almost solid, as if I was having a small single serve of desert, not a beverage. Interesting to say the least!


Pricing and Overall

Various Hot chocolate flavors - $4.00 Each
Mouse - $4.50
Rhubarb and Apple Crumble - $4.20

Overall? It was a calm atmosphere, and a nice place for me and my closest friends to catch up and chat. The prices obviously matched the quality and not the quantity, and though the service laked a tiny bit there was nothing specifically wrong with them. All in all it was a pleasant experience, but pleasant is as far as I could really go. Nothing really wowed me. The furniture was very lovely, but nothing with that “wow” factor that made you really go back for a second look.
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Cafe Classico

July 25th 2007 08:33
Café Classico

260 Collins St, Level 1
CBD, Melbourne.
Attendants: The Hatter (Writer) The Dormouse


Overview:

For this most recent review Dormouse and I decided to venture away from our own neighborhood into central Melbourne itself. Being a bit of a dreary day we were more avid then ever for a hot coffee and a bite to eat. After our planned trip to the book store we found Collins street plaza, and after a bit of searching, Found a nice classy looking café at the very back on the floor above the food court. After wandering in and not really seeing any indication as to whether we seat ourselves or wait to be seated, we weren’t left hanging for very long as somebody came out and showed us to a seat and offered drinks when menus were brought. So we ordered two cokes while we chose what to eat.

Points of interest
Licensed (Including a favorite of mine rarely seen in cafés, port)
Range of T2 brand teas
Functions, and catering available
Full several course meals offered as pay per head.
Large range of coffee
Allergy warning (tell wait staff if you are allergic to anything so they may void it from your meal.)


Service

The pleasant service seemed to end the moment we sat down. Almost the whole café was practically deserted, yet we were shown to the most out of the way table, right next to a staff room door, both drafty and mildly irritating when a lot of the comfy looking booth seats were taken up by what looked plaza staff on there breaks. When it came time to order our pasta, after several responses of “Huh?” and “uuhh…” from out waitress, we had to eventually just point at the menu before she understood. Likewise with our drink orders. Not to sound to harsh on the staff, the pasta was brought reasonably quickly though; we noted that as a plus, until of course we sampled the food

Food and Beverage
The Dormouse decided on the Fettuccine Carbonara, a favorite of us both, regardless of the slightly steep price. I myself just ordered a coffee, and was to share with Dormouse, not feeling particularly hungry. Our first surprise came at the size of the portion, for what had been charged it was a trifle smaller than expected. Second was that the waiter walked away without brining any cutlery, coming back a minuet or two later with a fork and spoon. Now I have worked as a waiter before, carrying two or three plates as well as cutlery is not as difficult as it may look, so I was surprised that the manager looking member of staff chose not too. The worst, I am sorry to say, was left to last. The pasta was in the lack of a better term, foul. I don’t mean to sound so harsh, and those who have read my previous reviews would agree I am generally very complimentary, but I could find nothing to praise in this meal. The pasta was dry and chewy, the bacon was barely cooked, Carbonara is usually a cream sauce, we were given a bowel of oil with bits of cooked (looked like scrambled) egg, yes, Egg. If I am wrong and am missing a more traditional version of carbonara, by all means correct me. But I have to say, when there is so much oil that it’s all you can taste over the rest of the pasta something is not right. Whether the cook was having an off day or this was just their personal method I don’t know, all I know that neither myself or the Dormouse could summon the stomach to finish more than half of what is usually our favorite pasta. As for the coffee, what can I say? The man behind the espresso machine simply did not seem to care. As he steamed the milk instead of looking at what he was doing, his attention wandered everywhere but what he was doing and the screech of what almost sounded like pain from the jug made me wince, and feel apprehensive of the cappuccino to come. My fear was well placed; it was undrinkable by both our standards. Coffee and milk burnt alike. We had to toss it on the way out.


Pricing and Overall
Fettuccine Carbonara: $18
Take away Cappuccino: $2.90
Two glasses of Coke: $5.80

Pricing was higher than most places in the general CBD of Melbourne that I have been to in the past, going as high as almost eighteen dollars for a simple chicken parmigiana and chips, and with the quality of the pasta we sampled, we were doubtful such a price would be worth it. I don’t like giving bad reviews, I really don’t, but here it could not be avoided. As we were paying the bill, a couple were at the front of the café seemingly debating to enter or not, If I were been a more forthright person I would of gone up and told them to not bother, but they moved on while we were being giving change. After all this, the man behind the counter made a subtle hint at the tip jar, which after such terrible service I thought was a joke. I can safely say, indeed both I and Dormouse can, That the coffee we had at one of the larger chain coffee shop a few hours earlier had been far better and cheaper than the whole sorry mess, and we should of called it a day then.
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The Turtle Bean Cafe

July 23rd 2007 08:24
The Turtle Bean Café

97 Poath Road
Murrumbeena, Melbourne.
Attendants: The Hatter (Writer) The Dormouse


Overview:

The Turtle Bean Café lies not far from Hughesdale station, yet again right near where I currently live. The luck of finding a decent café already in that area had already been used up, could lightning strike in the same place? Being so close to our last reviewed café we could not resist testing them out. As soon as we entered we were greeting with a smile and a welcome, it was comfortable and warm surroundings. Music from local and abroad alternate bands and artists plays through the café, giving it a pleasant background ambiance. They are Fully licensed with various beers on tap, as well as wine and spirits on request, there was even Baileys Irish Cream (yummers). For those of us who like to sleep in a bit, which I know I do! Breakfast is served right up to 3pm! No problem paying either with eftpos and credit card facilities. A lovely open-air courtyard out the back, for you outdoorsy or smoker types, I’m a sucker for a courtyard, so this is where we sat. Turtle themed decor goes throughout the indoor area, with walls also covered in posters for various artists and live musical events, both local and worldwide. Overall, a very pleasant place.


Service
The service at the Turtle Bean was fast and friendly, We were greeted and seated the second we set foot in the door, and they were busy at the time but still able to have no waiting time. After being shown to our courtyard table we we’re given our menus and ordered our coffee, which came back quickly but giving us enough time to order. Out waitress stayed and had a brief chat with us, commenting about Dormouse’s new haircut then left. After talking amongst ourselves and drinking our complementary chilled water and taking notes, out meals arrived. Again the waiter stopped to chat with us when Dormouse mentioned that this certain waiters mum had been talking about him at the hairdressers that morning. Sure it was just quick pleasant banter but I think things like that really elevate the mood and overall quality of a café. So many times do I get the simple and overly used “Thank you enjoy our meal” with the bland smile and false cheerfulness, making that little extra effort is always an awesome touch.


Food and Beverage
When we were given our menu’s we ordered out usual drinks. A Latte for The Dormouse and an extra strong Cappuccino for The Hatter. We were not disappointed. It took almost no time at all, and I thought with such a quick service I was skeptical about their quality. By oh boy did I eat my words! Dormouse’s Latte arrived with a perfect swirl of white and brown foam, not one bubble to be seen with a naked eye, and my cappuccino, when I poured a stick of sugar in, as I usually do and wait for it to sink through, the grains merely sat there. So it was obvious whoever was making the milk new what they were doing! As for the coffee itself, I wish I had ordered another one. Now with an alias like The Hatter, It obvious I’m a little picky about my caffeine, having worked as a barista (for the lack of a better term) most of my working life it’s a force of habit, but even a picky nuisance like me could find no fault with there coffee, I’ve been told a “critic” should never overly praise something but to hell with that, it was perfect coffee!
As for what we ate, well, The Dormouse summed it up in two words for me “exceptionally great” and I’m inclined to agree! We both could not resist the “Turtle bean special breakfast” although the rather extensive menu had a lot of great sounding breakfast and lunch meals. In our meal we got: Sourdough toast, wild mushrooms (fried) fried tomatoes, free range poached eggs, sausage, turtle beans in a fresh tomato melange, spinach, a hash brown, flame grilled bacon and a little glass dish of tomato sauce. I had to make Dormouse take a photo of it before I tucked in! After looking up Turtle beans online (as I was curious as to what a turtle bean actually was) I found they are simple known commonly as “Black Beans” I member of the pea and lentil family, very tasty in my opinion and extremely high in protein. I have to say it; this breakfast could easily be the only meal you would have to eat in a day. Myself and the Dormouse are well known for being bottomless pits when it comes to food, but Neither of us could manage to finish it, I left a piece of toast and egg, Dormouse leaving almost a whole rasher of bacon, we couldn’t believe ourselves! I recommend it to anybody and everybody; you will not regret even one delicious bite. I give high praise to their chef.


Pricing and Overall

Cappuccino and Latte – 2.90 each

Two Turtle bean special breakfast - $15 each

Overall, This has to be one of my favorite cafés. I know I’m supposed to be unbiased but hey, I cant help it, there just that good! Some of you may say the price of the breakfast is too much, but look at the photo again and see just how much you get! I think it was well worth it, not something you have everyday, but good way to treat yourself! The only real downsides I could see was that as nice as courtyards are, This one was a little haphazard. Was more like they had a little extra room out back so just plonked some tables and chair out there. No decoration and overgrown weeds everywhere, but this aside, a brilliant place to sit and have an fantastic meal. I highly recommend it to you all!
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Ok, I thought I had heard of it all, all the weird and wonderful flavors of coffee on the market.

Boy was I wrong


[ Click here to read more ]
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So it begins...

July 19th 2007 00:47
Greetings!

Who am I


[ Click here to read more ]
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Recent Comments

Comment by The Hatter
on Cafe Classico

July 28th 2007 00:59
I know what you mean, it took brushing my teeth four times to get that filthy taste from my tounge

I don't know....looks a lot like those cookie cutter"Make money doing Data entry online" or "Answer surveys for BIG CASH" website were in the end you have to pay through the nose to use their "service"...I'm a little skeptical

Comment by The Hatter
on White Chocolate & Macadamia muffins

July 24th 2007 07:49
Sounds yummers!

Comment by The Hatter
on The Turtle Bean Cafe

July 23rd 2007 23:24
Thank you very much Katyzzz. That positive comment is gonna leave a smile on my face all day!

Comment by The Hatter
on Nicole Kidman - Nintendo DS Advert

July 20th 2007 03:56
The look of utter sohck on her face at only getting 52 is priceless

Comment by The Hatter
on Playstation 3 is it worth it???

July 20th 2007 00:47
The the time the PS3 games catch up to the pointless sheer raw power Sony has but into the console, which is a large contributer to the huge price tag, the PS4 will be out and it will be obsolete. I'd rather save my money for more Wii games. But then again I'm a Nintendo slave since I was like 3 With the first Legend of Zelda.

Comment by The Hatter
on The First of Many - Brew Coffee Bar

July 19th 2007 23:16
Well seeing as I haven't been since I was 14, no, not really

Comment by The Hatter
on Catherine plasters her hair in caviar...

July 19th 2007 23:14
.................

ew.

Comment by The Hatter
on The First of Many - Brew Coffee Bar

July 19th 2007 08:56
Thanks guys for the comments, and who knows? Maybe if I ever get the urge to go to Sydney I'll do a little coffee tour

Comment by The Hatter
on katyzzz ART just for you!

July 19th 2007 07:19
Who needs hallucinogenic drugs? These are way better than anything a high could get you to see