The Government Cow Conspiracy
July 8th 2007 00:37
You pass them everyday. A pasture full of cows and steers peacefully grazing, swishing their tails in an attempt to keep the flies away from them. As you pass by, one or more of them look at you and it makes you wonder. Why are they always looking at you? Then it dawns on you. Maybe some of them aren't real live animals but, robotic planted there by the federal government to spy on the citizens in the particular community where they are located. Sounds stupid I know but what components would comprise one of these machines? First of all, let's look at their skin. It would be made of a waterproof material consisting of titanium fibers which are virtually indestructible. The tail consists of a special high gain antenna capable of picking up signals from as far away as a 50 mile radius. It's jaws would be programmed to "eat grass" This is just a diversion. once the grass is "ingested" it goes to the stomach which contains sulfuric acid to "digest" the material. The "gas" is vented out from a small opening under the "tail" and the "waste" is also discharged out the same way. Now to the head. It's eyes consist of a powerful camera lens which is capable of seeing in the dark and can spot movement over a quarter mile away. It is connected to a special video recorder that requires no tape of any kind being the digital type. It's ears consist of highly sensitive microphones which can detect a whisper from 500 yards around. It's "brains" are a super fast computer which has a 10,000 gigabyte harddrive. All the externals are connected to it using fiberoptic technology. It's "nose" can "smell" odors up to 1 mile distant and it's feet can sense vibrations from the same distance. The government program seeks to place one or more of these "cows" in every pasture of every farm in the nation by 2008 at the cost of $1,000 Billion dollars, All of which is paid for by you the taxpayer. So every time you pass a farm think about it. Oh, by the way they are powered by a miniature nuclear engine with a lifespan of 20 years.
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