The Good & The Bad
April 13th 2009 12:23
I just want to enjoy life
Ok, so this weekend was a holiday. Easter. A time to celebrate life! Which I was able to....sort of...seeing the kids and grandkids was great.
The main trigger I have now is the weather. It's been warm, cold, then rainy, thunder storms, high winds, even snow. So this ping pong weather has driven my pain level crazy.
Well, with a few months of gettting a taste of "life" because my pain level was down, now when it's gotten bad again, I do ask why. I am mad. I am sad. I get down.
I'm tired, I'm scared that this is going to be the rest of my life. I don't want it. It hurts too much. I am starting to wake up because of the pain.
A few nights ago I woke up from a nightmare, which I believe I was having because I was in so much pain.
My head has the needles and pins pain. My face hurts. I have time when I could scream with the pain. This morning I woke up feeling sick because of it.
I wa glad to have had the time with family. But the pain is taking over and I am scared, confused, mad, sad. I feel like I have to pay a price for any times that are good.
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