Power Over You
March 23rd 2010 05:13
Ever have someone laugh at you? Ever been excluded from an activity because of the way you look, talk, walk, wear your clothes, hair or just because you’re different in some way? I have. From the time I was a young child growing up, someone somewhere made fun of me. It hurt so bad that it made me want to run away and hide.
I never did though. I always kept coming back and did what I had to do. As I became older I realized a truth. A truth so amazing that it gave me the ability to see through the name calling. This truth will undoubtedly make a big difference in your life as it did in mine. I am willing to share it with you. The truth is, only you can give someone else the power to hurt you! Let me explain. If someone makes fun of you and everyone laughs, why should it bother you? Is it true what they say? If it is, so what? Why do you care what other people think? The only opinion that matters is yours and if you’ve based your opinion on what others think then you’ve fallen prey into their web of hate. The only opinion that should matter is your own. If you like the way you dress or cut and wear your hair then that’s what truly matters. Be happy with who you are.
Is it that simple? YES! Let me tell you a story: When I was nine years old I started to gain weight. Yes, I got fat! How and why I can’t really say. Did I eat too much? Probably. I believe it was the fact that I always preferred reading books to playing sports. Notice how I didn’t blame my parents. Yes, they never pushed me to do anything but the decision was ultimately mine, wasn’t it? The one thing I am sure of is that people around me changed. I became an outcast. I was always picked last for neighborhood games or school activities. Girls stopped speaking to me and I heard giggles as I passed by. Were they laughing at me? Of course they were. Being young I didn’t know how to react so I became a loner. I avoided people. I’d walk home alone or eat my lunch alone. I was that kid who always had his head down. I thought, “If I can’t see them, they won’t see me.” How foolish of me to think that since there was so much of me to see. Don’t get me wrong. I tried to make friends but the looks on other people’s faces made me stop trying and I started my life of solitude.
I came to realize I was giving others the power over how I felt. The summer before my senior year of high school I was walking my neighborhood feeling miserable about myself when I decided to go to a local basketball/boxing gym. I had been told bad people went there. You know, “hoodlums” or “gangstas.” As bad as I was feeling about myself I didn’t care about the consequences. I was curious. Well, I was never into sports especially boxing so I skipped that area and I sat down to watch some guys playing basketball. At the time I was weighing approximately 290 pounds. Yes! I know, 17 years old and weighing that much! I told you I wasn’t feeling good about myself. Anyway, I sat down to watch these “hoodlums” play. They were skinny with long baggy shorts and no shirts. Some even had tattoos. They were sweating and having a great time. As the game ended the guys started to walk over to where I was sitting. I thought to myself, here we go. Someone’s going to start trouble or make fun of me.
“Hey,” said the closest guy to me as he wiped the sweat off his body with his shirt. “What’s up?”
‘Nothing much.” I replied hesitantly.
“We’re going to start a new game in a few minutes. If you want in, let us know.”
I was blown away. Here I was judging them, thinking they were trash, not accepting them because of what other people had said. I felt ashamed. I was in no position to judge others and no one should be judging me. I accepted the offer and even though I couldn’t keep up with these guys that didn’t stop them from throwing the ball to me or asking me back the following week. I was giddy, like a small child who’s been given a snack for doing a good deed. I wanted more.
I bought a basketball that same day and practiced every chance I got. On Saturday’s I was at the gym bright and early because I didn’t want to miss anything. Wouldn’t you know, I was picked first sometimes! The most incredible thing of all was that I lost 100 pounds that summer. I started my senior year and nobody recognized me. I was at a trim 185 pounds. People who hadn’t spoken to me since junior high started speaking to me as if I was an exchange student newly arrived. I finally realized the power I gave others to make me happy and I decided it had to stop. The people who talked with me regardless of when I was fat or skinny were my true friends. All the girls who were now inviting me to party’s or out on dates only wanted to know the skin deep me. I was happy with the attention. I was mad with the attention. I’m still the same person, damn it! Why can’t you accept me for who I am and not what I look like? Why can’t I accept me for what I look like? And then I did. I stopped giving people the power to make me happy and things became much easier. I was happy with whom I was and that made people around me happy.
I’ve been on a rollercoaster with my weight all my life but the one thing that hasn’t changed is who I am inside. Big or skinny I am still funny, courteous, gentle, sincere, polite an asshole sometimes and kind. The power to make me happy is all mine and I chose to use it every day. Be Strong and make the right choices. Remember, the easiest choice isn’t always the best choice and following the most difficult path can make you a better person. Don’t give others the power over you. We are all different and we can be happy with our differences. If you meet someone who can’t then you have the power to follow a different path.
I never did though. I always kept coming back and did what I had to do. As I became older I realized a truth. A truth so amazing that it gave me the ability to see through the name calling. This truth will undoubtedly make a big difference in your life as it did in mine. I am willing to share it with you. The truth is, only you can give someone else the power to hurt you! Let me explain. If someone makes fun of you and everyone laughs, why should it bother you? Is it true what they say? If it is, so what? Why do you care what other people think? The only opinion that matters is yours and if you’ve based your opinion on what others think then you’ve fallen prey into their web of hate. The only opinion that should matter is your own. If you like the way you dress or cut and wear your hair then that’s what truly matters. Be happy with who you are.
Is it that simple? YES! Let me tell you a story: When I was nine years old I started to gain weight. Yes, I got fat! How and why I can’t really say. Did I eat too much? Probably. I believe it was the fact that I always preferred reading books to playing sports. Notice how I didn’t blame my parents. Yes, they never pushed me to do anything but the decision was ultimately mine, wasn’t it? The one thing I am sure of is that people around me changed. I became an outcast. I was always picked last for neighborhood games or school activities. Girls stopped speaking to me and I heard giggles as I passed by. Were they laughing at me? Of course they were. Being young I didn’t know how to react so I became a loner. I avoided people. I’d walk home alone or eat my lunch alone. I was that kid who always had his head down. I thought, “If I can’t see them, they won’t see me.” How foolish of me to think that since there was so much of me to see. Don’t get me wrong. I tried to make friends but the looks on other people’s faces made me stop trying and I started my life of solitude.
I came to realize I was giving others the power over how I felt. The summer before my senior year of high school I was walking my neighborhood feeling miserable about myself when I decided to go to a local basketball/boxing gym. I had been told bad people went there. You know, “hoodlums” or “gangstas.” As bad as I was feeling about myself I didn’t care about the consequences. I was curious. Well, I was never into sports especially boxing so I skipped that area and I sat down to watch some guys playing basketball. At the time I was weighing approximately 290 pounds. Yes! I know, 17 years old and weighing that much! I told you I wasn’t feeling good about myself. Anyway, I sat down to watch these “hoodlums” play. They were skinny with long baggy shorts and no shirts. Some even had tattoos. They were sweating and having a great time. As the game ended the guys started to walk over to where I was sitting. I thought to myself, here we go. Someone’s going to start trouble or make fun of me.
“Hey,” said the closest guy to me as he wiped the sweat off his body with his shirt. “What’s up?”
‘Nothing much.” I replied hesitantly.
“We’re going to start a new game in a few minutes. If you want in, let us know.”
I was blown away. Here I was judging them, thinking they were trash, not accepting them because of what other people had said. I felt ashamed. I was in no position to judge others and no one should be judging me. I accepted the offer and even though I couldn’t keep up with these guys that didn’t stop them from throwing the ball to me or asking me back the following week. I was giddy, like a small child who’s been given a snack for doing a good deed. I wanted more.
I bought a basketball that same day and practiced every chance I got. On Saturday’s I was at the gym bright and early because I didn’t want to miss anything. Wouldn’t you know, I was picked first sometimes! The most incredible thing of all was that I lost 100 pounds that summer. I started my senior year and nobody recognized me. I was at a trim 185 pounds. People who hadn’t spoken to me since junior high started speaking to me as if I was an exchange student newly arrived. I finally realized the power I gave others to make me happy and I decided it had to stop. The people who talked with me regardless of when I was fat or skinny were my true friends. All the girls who were now inviting me to party’s or out on dates only wanted to know the skin deep me. I was happy with the attention. I was mad with the attention. I’m still the same person, damn it! Why can’t you accept me for who I am and not what I look like? Why can’t I accept me for what I look like? And then I did. I stopped giving people the power to make me happy and things became much easier. I was happy with whom I was and that made people around me happy.
I’ve been on a rollercoaster with my weight all my life but the one thing that hasn’t changed is who I am inside. Big or skinny I am still funny, courteous, gentle, sincere, polite an asshole sometimes and kind. The power to make me happy is all mine and I chose to use it every day. Be Strong and make the right choices. Remember, the easiest choice isn’t always the best choice and following the most difficult path can make you a better person. Don’t give others the power over you. We are all different and we can be happy with our differences. If you meet someone who can’t then you have the power to follow a different path.
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