The End?
December 2nd 2006 20:15
Two people I know are breaking up.
I guess the age difference and them being at very different stages in their lives contribute to this break-up? We don't know.
He's a musician very well-known in his scene. When he decided to give up his full-time day job to concentrate on music, his partner supported him all the way. She understood how important it is for him. She used to run record labels and managed a few bands so she knows the scene very well.
She appreciated what it's like to be in a job one truly loves to do.
Some of our close friends had speculated this break-up once his career takes off.
Timing?
The conversations among those of us close to this matter involved tears, anger, frustration and a myriad of emotions can be thrown in.
One was angry at him for being selfish in choosing this time when she is about to start a business. The anger towards him was also due to the obvious fact that she pretty much gave up having a life to work long hours in order to support him.
It seemed like a rather convenient reason, now his career is taking off, he's breaking up with her.
Others felt that they've been in each others pockets for far too long.
To point out the obvious, being as well-known as he is now, he's constantly surrounded by people who revere him. Everyone wants a piece of him all of the time. These people are constantly telling him how great he is and making sure he attends their parties.
Free drugs, free alcohol, free women.
I have witnessed this on many occasions.
So much so I have stopped going to parties with him so I didn't have to witness all that and having her probe me about what went on at the parties.
Then when he's home, he has to deal with the realities of life, like bills and tax and grocery shopping. These things aren't fun. Partying is.
She isn't in the music scene anymore and has given up partying due to health reasons.
Some weekends when he was out partying all weekend and not going home, she would be constantly calling him on the telephone and getting stressed out to the point of being ill.
Why was she doing this?
Her reasoning is that she wanted him to realise not to waste his weekends in such a fashion as history showed he would take the next few days off and not doing any music.
His reasoning is that she was jealous of him because she can't go out partying anymore due to health reasons.
No specific reasons were given for this break-up.
She said he doesn't love her anymore.
He said he's beginning to see her more as a friend than a lover.
Also that she's always about business and isn't fun anymore.
Vicious cycle.
She woke up yesterday morning for work. He hadn't slept at all.
A woman's intuition kicked in and she asked him if they were ok.
He said no because he's never lied to her so told her the truth.
Further probing drew more information.
He believes if she hadn't probe, this wouldn't have happened. Perhaps.
He said he had this nagging, confused feeling for quite some time while he was on tour.
He was hoping it would go away and he could fix the relationship.
Due to her asking questions, it's now out in the open and he feels that there's no going back.
What's done cannot be undone.
The days to come will be difficult times for the both of them and for everyone around them.
Both will fall very hard.
Both will have to learn to live without each other.
She will believe she's lost everything
He will achieve the freedom he wants.
Things that may happen to her:
1) She may decide to throw in the business and go into a deep depression; or
2) She may focus this anger towards doing something great and come out of this situation a much stronger person than she was. She will realise she can be independent and can live apart from him.
Things that may happen to him:
1) With this 'freedom', he may party more than before. He may be taking less care of his finances as he didn't have to before (his partner looks after his finance, files his tax etc).
If his career has a downturn, his fair-weather friends may not be around to pick him up should he falls; or
2) He will learn to be more independent and self-reliant. He may take away from the relationship things he's learnt from his partner about managing his career.
Purely speculations from people who know both of them very well.
Conversations had with each of them showed they aren't on the same page.
Who knows, this whole thing may blow over in a few days and they're back together.
Or they may part of good.
Either way, they both deserve the best for being the great people that they are.
I guess the age difference and them being at very different stages in their lives contribute to this break-up? We don't know.
He's a musician very well-known in his scene. When he decided to give up his full-time day job to concentrate on music, his partner supported him all the way. She understood how important it is for him. She used to run record labels and managed a few bands so she knows the scene very well.
She appreciated what it's like to be in a job one truly loves to do.
Some of our close friends had speculated this break-up once his career takes off.
The conversations among those of us close to this matter involved tears, anger, frustration and a myriad of emotions can be thrown in.
One was angry at him for being selfish in choosing this time when she is about to start a business. The anger towards him was also due to the obvious fact that she pretty much gave up having a life to work long hours in order to support him.
It seemed like a rather convenient reason, now his career is taking off, he's breaking up with her.
Others felt that they've been in each others pockets for far too long.
To point out the obvious, being as well-known as he is now, he's constantly surrounded by people who revere him. Everyone wants a piece of him all of the time. These people are constantly telling him how great he is and making sure he attends their parties.
Free drugs, free alcohol, free women.
I have witnessed this on many occasions.
So much so I have stopped going to parties with him so I didn't have to witness all that and having her probe me about what went on at the parties.
Then when he's home, he has to deal with the realities of life, like bills and tax and grocery shopping. These things aren't fun. Partying is.
She isn't in the music scene anymore and has given up partying due to health reasons.
Some weekends when he was out partying all weekend and not going home, she would be constantly calling him on the telephone and getting stressed out to the point of being ill.
Why was she doing this?
Her reasoning is that she wanted him to realise not to waste his weekends in such a fashion as history showed he would take the next few days off and not doing any music.
His reasoning is that she was jealous of him because she can't go out partying anymore due to health reasons.
No specific reasons were given for this break-up.
She said he doesn't love her anymore.
He said he's beginning to see her more as a friend than a lover.
Also that she's always about business and isn't fun anymore.
Vicious cycle.
She woke up yesterday morning for work. He hadn't slept at all.
A woman's intuition kicked in and she asked him if they were ok.
He said no because he's never lied to her so told her the truth.
Further probing drew more information.
He believes if she hadn't probe, this wouldn't have happened. Perhaps.
He said he had this nagging, confused feeling for quite some time while he was on tour.
He was hoping it would go away and he could fix the relationship.
Due to her asking questions, it's now out in the open and he feels that there's no going back.
What's done cannot be undone.
The days to come will be difficult times for the both of them and for everyone around them.
Both will fall very hard.
Both will have to learn to live without each other.
She will believe she's lost everything
He will achieve the freedom he wants.
Things that may happen to her:
1) She may decide to throw in the business and go into a deep depression; or
2) She may focus this anger towards doing something great and come out of this situation a much stronger person than she was. She will realise she can be independent and can live apart from him.
Things that may happen to him:
1) With this 'freedom', he may party more than before. He may be taking less care of his finances as he didn't have to before (his partner looks after his finance, files his tax etc).
If his career has a downturn, his fair-weather friends may not be around to pick him up should he falls; or
2) He will learn to be more independent and self-reliant. He may take away from the relationship things he's learnt from his partner about managing his career.
Purely speculations from people who know both of them very well.
Conversations had with each of them showed they aren't on the same page.
Who knows, this whole thing may blow over in a few days and they're back together.
Or they may part of good.
Either way, they both deserve the best for being the great people that they are.
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