The Voices in my HeadThe Dream: An Interpretation
December 5th 2006 05:17
Feeling lonely of heart and crowded of mind, I took a walk by a lake near my house. It was an unseasonably warm fall day, my favorite kind. I love the colors of Fall mixed with the warmth of summer. It created an odd stirring in my chest. My empty, barely beating heart thumped to remind me it was still there.
"Symbolic representation of life, at best." I muttered to the little squirrel that had just run a final nut up the tree and into his stash for the winter.
I wanted love. I craved it with a ferocity that could not be explained or adequately described. "Where is he?" I thought to myself. It was nearly a compulsion, those words racing through my mind. I didn't even need to think them, they were played on a continuous loop in my brain.
I didn't want just anyone. I wanted him. THE one. I knew him so well, he was such an intimate part of my life already that no one else would do. Dating wasn't even an option anymore. I was convinced that the moment we met, we would not speak a word and would go to the nearest justice of the peace and be married.
His thick black hair, dark eyes, masculine body and lover's hands had made love to me more times than I could have counted. I loved him. No introductions needed. I knew he was a smoker, that he rolled his own cigarettes. He was a dark man. The sort of man who filled up a room with his very existence.
I didn’t know where he was or how I would meet him. In a sense, I already had. He just needed to materialize from my dreams into my arms.
I walked on for a ways, watching the leaves drop like feathers from angel’s wings. I walked around the edge of the pond, as deep as his soul and as blue as I imagined his eyes to be. I’m not sure how long I stood there, watching the playful water mimic the movement of the air around me. It must have been several minutes that I stood there transfixed by the ripples in the blue of my lover’s eyes.
I suddenly came to my senses, feeling startled by someone's presence. I slowly turned to find someone staring at me. Their light grey eyes startled me. He was handsome, in a business suit, 9-5er sort of way. I smiled and turned my attentions again to the pond.
I felt his gaze on the side of my face and ignored it. He kept staring. I became uncomfortable and pulled my jacket up to cover my face a little. Again, he kept staring and I got angry. I turned to him and said,
"Can I help you?" in a tone that clearly indicated I wanted to do nothing of the sort.
"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it...your..." I finished the sentence in my head. "Beautiful." I can't believe the nerve of this guy. Who the hell did he think he was to...
"...tag is out...there on the back of your coat. I'm sorry...that sort of thing drives me crazy." he finished.
My mouth dropped open. "What?"
"Your tag is out."
"I heard you. You know, they make medication for that sort of thing now. In fact, if you get the right medication, the voices will go away, too." I snipped and casually reached back to tuck the tag before the freak tried to do it.
"Did it work for you? It's nice to have an expert opinion on these matters." he said.
"You are incredibly rude." I said, blushing. Only I would meet up with a nutcase at a semi-secluded spot. Only me.
"You're just mad because I didn't say you were beautiful." I looked at him completely aghast.
"NO, not exactly. I am mad because you are intruding on my privacy."
"I'm sorry...the next time I come down to my pond, I will call and ask your permission first." He tilted his head back a bit in that self-important manner that drove me insane.
I stared at him. Dead on. Right in the eyes.
"Do you want something?" he asked.
"I'm sorry, your ego is out just there, all over the damn place." I gestured wildly to indicate the entire universe.
I shook my head and walked away. "Sorry for trespassing."
I brushed against his arm. I was nearly ready for electric volts to run up and down my arm. Nothing. I smiled and kept walking away, knowing that he was following me with his eyes. I didn't want him, but it didn't hurt my ego to know he wanted me.
To be continued...
"Symbolic representation of life, at best." I muttered to the little squirrel that had just run a final nut up the tree and into his stash for the winter.
I wanted love. I craved it with a ferocity that could not be explained or adequately described. "Where is he?" I thought to myself. It was nearly a compulsion, those words racing through my mind. I didn't even need to think them, they were played on a continuous loop in my brain.
I didn't want just anyone. I wanted him. THE one. I knew him so well, he was such an intimate part of my life already that no one else would do. Dating wasn't even an option anymore. I was convinced that the moment we met, we would not speak a word and would go to the nearest justice of the peace and be married.
His thick black hair, dark eyes, masculine body and lover's hands had made love to me more times than I could have counted. I loved him. No introductions needed. I knew he was a smoker, that he rolled his own cigarettes. He was a dark man. The sort of man who filled up a room with his very existence.
I didn’t know where he was or how I would meet him. In a sense, I already had. He just needed to materialize from my dreams into my arms.
I walked on for a ways, watching the leaves drop like feathers from angel’s wings. I walked around the edge of the pond, as deep as his soul and as blue as I imagined his eyes to be. I’m not sure how long I stood there, watching the playful water mimic the movement of the air around me. It must have been several minutes that I stood there transfixed by the ripples in the blue of my lover’s eyes.
I suddenly came to my senses, feeling startled by someone's presence. I slowly turned to find someone staring at me. Their light grey eyes startled me. He was handsome, in a business suit, 9-5er sort of way. I smiled and turned my attentions again to the pond.
I felt his gaze on the side of my face and ignored it. He kept staring. I became uncomfortable and pulled my jacket up to cover my face a little. Again, he kept staring and I got angry. I turned to him and said,
"Can I help you?" in a tone that clearly indicated I wanted to do nothing of the sort.
"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it...your..." I finished the sentence in my head. "Beautiful." I can't believe the nerve of this guy. Who the hell did he think he was to...
"...tag is out...there on the back of your coat. I'm sorry...that sort of thing drives me crazy." he finished.
My mouth dropped open. "What?"
"Your tag is out."
"I heard you. You know, they make medication for that sort of thing now. In fact, if you get the right medication, the voices will go away, too." I snipped and casually reached back to tuck the tag before the freak tried to do it.
"Did it work for you? It's nice to have an expert opinion on these matters." he said.
"You are incredibly rude." I said, blushing. Only I would meet up with a nutcase at a semi-secluded spot. Only me.
"You're just mad because I didn't say you were beautiful." I looked at him completely aghast.
"NO, not exactly. I am mad because you are intruding on my privacy."
"I'm sorry...the next time I come down to my pond, I will call and ask your permission first." He tilted his head back a bit in that self-important manner that drove me insane.
I stared at him. Dead on. Right in the eyes.
"Do you want something?" he asked.
"I'm sorry, your ego is out just there, all over the damn place." I gestured wildly to indicate the entire universe.
I shook my head and walked away. "Sorry for trespassing."
I brushed against his arm. I was nearly ready for electric volts to run up and down my arm. Nothing. I smiled and kept walking away, knowing that he was following me with his eyes. I didn't want him, but it didn't hurt my ego to know he wanted me.
To be continued...
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Comment by David my David
I'm in with a chance.
I roll my own cigarettes (only becasue I don't have a woman in my life to occupy my hands in a much more constructive way).
I love the way you write. What you write ...
You are an exceptional human being. I wish we could meet ...
David ...
Comment by The Voices in my Head
The Voices in my Head
As do I, David, as do I. I am a big fan of your work on Mind Orgasms. You write beautifully...
Come back,
Voices~
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
I came because of the title ... I thought you'd gone into the dream interpretation business yourself *l-ing ol*... but I stayed and read the words... and then dreamt of a dark haired man last night... whom I had wanted to stay, but woke up... maybe we'll catch up again. The darndest thing was we were missing trains ... still not time for a change in partner... *sigh*
I hope you got my apology for not making it to the slumber party (left in Dream Interpretations [numbers] for you with your interpretation)... I will try and make the next one...
Lilla...
Comment by The Voices in my Head
The Voices in my Head
I actually thought about that after I posted this one.."Lilla is going to think I am moving in on her business'. lol Glad you came and seen it is nothing of the sort. No, I didn't get your apology, very sweet of you, but unnecessary. It would be great to see you at 'the next one', if there is a next one...*smile*
Come back,
Voices~